AIBU to plan a 90s-style birthday party with traditional party food?

This is an at home mini party, not a venue.
I would expect a little bit of variety in food, not just basically different types of crisps and cakes. A bowl of apples and a plate if cucumber would do the trick, its not hard.

Better check on the 90s music- there are some songs not suitable for such an age!!

Of course, no invites or replies by email or text.

It's the principle of it being incredibly rude to criticise food as a prospective guest. If they really care they can give their kid an apple on the way home.

The parties my DC attended in the 90s were almost without exception at Macdonalds, at The Wacky Warehouse (soft play followed by nuggets and chips) or involved a trip to a petting farm with food laid on by the farm (nuggets and chips). I don't remember home parties being a thing at all, so don't know what food would be 90s themed for a party.
Showing my age, but its not THAT long ago surely, that children ate recognisably different foods from now? Maybe less concern with restricting junk, but I doubt the other parents would thank you for that.

Sorry I know it’s already been asked, but what is distinctively 90s about it? Sounds like it could represent any decade really - it’s just standard crowd pleasing junk food for kids. Does your 7 year old so have a particular nostalgia for the 90s? Would kind of party would he like?

And surely the priority of a kids party is in fact the kids and ensuring they have a great time and have fun. Not appeasing a small fraction of neurotic parents who seemingly think their child is bound for a lifetime of health problems because they can't go two hours without being offered an apple.

I'm not sure what kids parties you go to, but certainly fretting about healthy food at a kids party isn't the priority of any I've arranged or been too.

Most parents go to the effort of booking a venue, hiring entertainment/bouncy castles if that's what they are doing, organising games, sorting out invitations, contacting parents, making up gift bags and generally ensuring the kids have a good time and party to remember.

All of which takes time and effort. Yet you've somehow by passed all this and think that despite all the effort they've put in above, not having a fruit platter means they "can't be arsed, don't care"

It is also a bit of a “can’t be arsed, don’t care” menu. Fair enough, but it does send a fairly clear message on your priorities.
Anything fresh (apples, cucumbers) would help, and is cheap, so why not do it?

Yes of course they’re not going to drop down dead or get sick but the point is that 4 separate parents out of 20 have said something to OP about the food (without those who didn’t say anything to her) so it isn’t the norm for that area and those parents do find it a problem. That’s just going to impact her own child’s party, so OP might as well provide it. There’s clearly a hugely varied approach depending on the area/circle - even in your experience it was from getting McDonalds to asking for organic.

OP said 4 separate parents out of 20 have said something about the food, and that’s without any others who were thinking the same but didn’t want to say anything, so yes it sounds like there are people who do have an issue with it. All easily solvable by just laying out some fruit and veg but it seems lots of people on this thread find that ridiculous and call it being fanatical about food. Each to their own but it’s clearly not the norm in OP’s area.

Can’t remember the name of the TV show, it was on years ago, but they did an experiment.

They had two groups of children and set up two parities with parents watching on monitors. Each set of parents were told that the children would be having party food with sugar and colouring, before hand.

all the parents from each party watched as the children got “hyper” and excited, bouncing off the walls and running around. All the parents were saying it was obviously all the sugar.

Only it wasn’t. Only one party had food with sugar and food colouring, the other was entirely natural ingredients, nothing processed, everything fed to the children was healthy, it was all fruits and vegetables.

Both parties of children acted the exact same way. They were just excited and happy and acting like children at a party, it was nothing to do with what they were fed.

I don't understand why parents get so worried about kids being "hyper" at a kids party. It's a party not rhyme time at the local library. They are meant to be hyper, running about out and then go home completely shattered!

Some parents just need to let go. All this anxiety and over fussing over the fact there isn't a vegetable platter being served doesn't do anyone any favours, kids and parents alike.

At the many Gdcs’ birthday parties I’ve attended, it’s most often the parents who scoff the mini sandwiches, cocktail sausages, cheese and pineapple, etc. The kids tend to stick to the likes of crisps and chocolate fairy cakes.

Re sausages on sticks, I once took 2 packs of frozen sausages to a BiL’s huge place in France, largely to serve as ice packs for other stuff.
A few days later he threw a large al fresco lunch party for (mostly) French friends and neighbours.
Since the sausages (best quality) were by then thawed, I thought I might as well cook them, cut up and serve on sticks with the al fresco drinks.

They all vanished in under 2 minutes!

Money isn’t an issue for me, but fuck that.

Kids want to eat pizza and cake, it’s a bloody party. They won’t drop down dead if there isn’t a fruit platter.

This has always been my go to for children’s birthdays.

My eldest is 23, youngest is 5 and I have one inbetween so I’ve been doing them a long time and have a few more left in me.

I don’t cater for any “healthy” food at parties. It’s all pizza, cheese sandwiches, sausage rolls and party rings. It’s a fucking party, not a buffet at a golf course.

My god, the comments I’ve had from other parents over the years.

“X would love some carrots and hummus, where would I find that?”

”Do you have anything organic?” (For six year olds to just crush into my carpet? Do I fuck).

”Don’t worry darling, mummy will get you some healthy food when we get home!” (The kid looked anything but worried while shovelling party rings into his face).

I even had one nip out to the shop and bring back a cucumber and some carrots to chop up, she looked like she was having some sort of breakdown when she saw my food.

It’s lucky I don’t give a solitary fuck.

Although, I moved out of stepford 5 years ago and now live across the country in a shithole, and people here are less up thier own arses. I took 5 year old dd to a birthday party at someone’s house last weekend, and the dad nipped out to pick up all the kids a happy meal from McDonald’s, which they loved. The family would have been social outcasts for doing that where I lived previously 🤣

Point out to the parents that they survived the 90’s with parties like this 🤷‍♀️😂

Don’t forget the cheese and pineapple on sticks ( a bit 70”s I guess)

The party sounds fab, I would come!

And even if its several times a month, its still a small percentage of meals they eat in a month. Even the most hard-core of UPF writers state going 100% upf free is unrealistic and to aim for a 80/20 balance and I'm pretty sure kids party food doesn't equate to 20% of meals eaten in a month.

The majority of parties I've been to have always had fruit and veg. Not that it matters anyway, even at my sons party this weekend, the sausage rolls and pizza were all eaten and veg sticks all completely untouched. As to be expected!

And even if its not offered. Its not the end of the world! As someone said earlier the child isn't going to keel over of scurvy if they aren't offered a carrot stick within a two hour period 🙄.

Do parents really take issue with this all? Who has the headspace to worry about what food is offered at a party. My main focus on a kids party is ensuring kids have fun with their friends, not worrying about ensuring they meet their nutrional requirements at a kids party. If parents are that bothered, just give them an apple on their way home.

What is 90s about ?

Well yes there’s a big difference, you yourself said fruit and veg is normally offered at ones you go to, OP wasn’t planning to offer anything at all. That’s similar to just offering fizzy drinks and juice, but no water. Of course it’s not going to kill anyone or cause sickness as a one off, but it’s more of a statement not to offer it nowadays at a children’s party than just include even one platter of pre-cut fruit / veg? It’s not that hard. If money is an issue then OP can surely swap out one or two of the other multiples of items.

sounds a really lovely party .

you’ve explained the food - if tarquin and Camilla are only allowed to eat carrot sticks and cucumber and only allowed to drink bottled water (how joyless can people be - it’s a party not a health food retreat) - tell them that’s fine - send a pack up with them or don’t come.

I hate how weaponised people make kids food. If you feed them healthily all week at home - stuffing them full of organic veg and tofu - I really think a little blast of sugar once in a while and a bit of fun is not going to kill them..

most kids go bonkers at parties due to excitement as much as sugar.

having a child with life threatening allergies - I had no choice but to take my own food everywhere to keep them safe. But even with all our dietary restrictions (which kept them alive) - I let them have as much fun and ‘junk’ as I could muster on their restricted diet as it’s a blooming party!!!!

put it back on them - come with their own approved food (that they must stay and supervise as you won’t have time to endure the kids don’t help themselves to the fun food on the table) - or if so unedifying to their principles - then don’t come.

I’m sure you will have a great party - don’t pander to this ridiculous snobbery - it’s just ridiculous . Adults don’t expect to go to a party and eat lettuce leaves and celery sticks. Hope this adults unclench a little and let kids be kids and let them have a little fun !

This is one of the more bizarre things I've read on Mumsnet. I was intrigued to know what a 90s-style party was.

Every party I went to in primary school (80s) was like this, and I did several parties like this for my DC between 2013 and 2018. Usually only for around 10 guests, but we twice hired a hall and did traditional party games for 20 kids. Party games generally were pretty standard at birthday parties my DC went to from last year of pre-school through to age 7 or 8.

We always put out veg sticks and fruit amongst the pizza and cocktail sausages. And always had to throw it away afterwards. Complete waste of time peeling and chopping!

I can't believe people are rude enough to comment on party food to the host. I would just be grateful my child was included and going to have fun with their friends.

Would love to know where OP lives!

I… this just sounds like a very normal (and perfectly lovely!) birthday party.

What’s the usual in your world of people are moaning about this?

Does it really? My kids eat loads of fruit and veg. They aren't going to keel over from scurvey if they aren't offered it at a birthday party.