AIBU to plan a 90s-style birthday party with traditional party food?

Mine never had anything off limits either - and one genuinely won’t eat overly flavoured food at all. he just doesn’t like it. We have crisps and sweets freely available, they don’t get eaten. All kids are different!

Yeah, I have a relative whose children were like that too. No sugar allowed at all, so when they were ever anywhere with chocolate or sweets, they would nick handfuls and hide away to wolf it down. All while she paraded around saying, “oh, mine would never touch that rubbish you have put out, they make better choices.” Hmmmm. They really didn’t.

One ended up with an ED from their mothers (my cousin, for anyone who thinks it is a SIL!) obsessive food restriction.

I’ve always been the other way. My children can have a Mars bar for breakfast, lunch and dinner if they like. They don’t though. They are the ones who choose the healthier options 95% of the time. I know all children are different, but I’ve never stressed or obsessed about food or made anything off limits.

DS has a mate who he has known since he was 10, this friend does have a life threatening food allergy and has an epi pen. I was always careful for him obviously. But that was it.

There is always a cheese and pineapple hedgehog at my get togethers. I’m having my 60th soon. There will be an extensive and beautifully put together charcuterie board, lovingly enhanced with fresh rosemary alongside a cheese and pineapple hedgehog with its body made from a silver foil wrapped potato.

DH cousins Mum was like this as soon as his cousins had their own money they were wolfing down shite as had never been allowed it.

To be fair I'm confused about the scenario where she has shared the menu before hand with parents. All the parties we've been to its been just a case of any dietary requirements. We go to endless ones at the moment all similar format (we are peak reception class parties) and having to look at a menu for all of them would be a bore (caveating that I know I'm not having to manage allergies).

So thinking about it perhaps the other parents thought she wanted genuine feedback when they suggested fruit etc.

It is rude but OP asked whether she was being unreasonable to have such a party with that specific food, not whether their responses to her were unreasonable.

Now that she knows at least 20% of parents aren’t too keen and that there could be more, that having zero fruit / veg is unusual for her area AND that the party hasn’t actually happened yet so it’s all within her control to organise a bit of fruit / veg, why wouldn’t she?

Sounds like an ideal party

How on earth is this a 90’s style party? This is just bog standard party games and food for a 7 years old party since the dawn of ages.

Did you send out invites stating it was a 90’s style birthday party? If so this may have confused some people, I would not have known what you meant if it was for a child’s party.

For me the 90’s was BritPop, illegal raves, and a lot of drugs.
You may want to update your party invite by stating it’s just a bog standard birthday party for a 7 year old.

We all do things differently.

My son always prefered to eat before hand, as do I.

Its very, very rare that anyone actually notifies you aren’t eating to be honest, and when if they do and ask, a simple explanation is always fine.

Brining food is a pain in the arse that is more obvious than not eating, and having people ask about your medical needs is really boring, which they do if they seee you are eating your own food.

Or the host will try to make you something if you mention it before hand, and it’s so fucking awkward to have to try and pretend to eat it as you know it won’t be safe.

And free from supermarket stuff is expensive and most of it is crap, I wouldn’t want anyone wasting their money on it!

Easier to keep your mouth shut and blend into the crowd.

Berries are usually the first to go, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and carrot sticks always get finished. Apples are usually eaten by some but not all.
Crisps - ready salted (which the op doesn’t offer) are usually gone, flavoured ones get barely touched.
Mini sausages and sausage rolls are usually eaten by a few, mini pizzas get eaten hot, but never cold. Party rings usually end up in the bin. Never seen animal crackers at a party, so no idea.

This is still the norm in much of the U.K., not everyone can afford fancy parties, your food selection is quite elaborate, many just serve jam sandwiches (with vegan spread, saves dealing with dietary issues) the cucumber and carrot sticks and put out then nobody touches them

The accepted etiquette around me seems to be the parent of the child with dietary requirements (I know quite a few!) texts offering to bring a packed lunch for the child, and the hosting parent either gratefully accepts or says what they can provide and checks it would be ok (e.g. unopened things from a supermarket Free From range). This seems to work well, as I think it would be a bit awkward to have one child at the party not eating at all?

The only thing I'd be demanding at a 90s themed parties are these bad boys 😋😂

I am coeliac and so is my eldest child. I have never, ever expected anyone to cater for us and would never ask, and wouldn’t trust anyone too either, cross contamination is a ball ache. The amount of times people have “suprised” me with a sandwich and I have said thank you and disposed of it discreetly as I know they have used the same butter, same chopping board as they wouldn’t realise they shouldn’t it unreal.

I wouldn’t eat veg sticks, for example, as they would probably have been contaminated.

Most people I’ve met with dietary needs are like me - they don’t say anything and eat before or after and don’t make a big deal.

Confusing. I thought this was just normal kids party food. Could someone fill me in as to what is currently considered normal for kids part food?

You forgot:

the necklaces and bracelets that are those sweets

jolly ranchers

monster munch

chubba chubs lollipops for the party bags

cherry drops

chicken dippers!! The OG shit chicken goujon

the mums with a problem can just not come or bring their kids... 🙄

Incidentally, I might also have said 'ooh, what's a 90s themed party?' but I wouldn't have meant 'send me a full detailed list of all the food'!

I've actually always been really surprised at how quickly the veg sticks and (particularly) fruit disappear at kids' parties - and I would be slightly surprised to see none at all, partially because of that. That said, I would never ask for a menu in advance (wtf?) and even more would never critique the food being served to the host.

My only thought is whether the children whose parents have made a fuss have a dietary restriction. It really wouldn't be a great menu if you were gluten-free! But even then there are much politer ways of noting there isn't anything for your child, e.g. offering to bring something for them.

Those parents are rude, judgemental idiots. The more they are placated, the worse they get.

Yeah I'm not getting especially 90s vibes from the menu. 90s music I guess would be the main themed thing?

It's just regular kids party food. Which is cool.

If anyone doesn't like it they can send their kid in with a Nobu bento box or some home made flax seed and spinach/carob overnight oats?! 🤣

I'm not sure we're reading the same first post. I'm not sure in what world cheese/jam/ham sandwiches, cocktail sausages and crisps can be argued as strong flavours. In fact it sounds very similar to what you've said in your post of what you'd offer.

It's as well, how much realistically do kids eat of veg and fruit at a kids party? A few cucumber sticks? A few bits of cut up fruit at a push.

Hardly enough to meet one of their five a day, much less have any nutritional content or impact. And certainly not enough to cancel out all the cake and other items they eat.

All it is as I said, is a token gesture to appease some neurotic parents to help them feel more superior.

My son wouldn’t eat any of these - he doesn’t like strong flavours (not unusual for the age group), and all of these have strong flavours.
He would come out of the party unhappy.
In his parties, I offer a variety of food: crisps , fruit, vegetables, vegetarian, cheese cubes etc. I would like all guests to have a good time, and none of these are expensive or time consuming.
Its not about health, its about the fact that its basically a crisp /factory cake buffet which is very limited.

I'd tell any parents who complain about the party food that they are welcome to bring/send along something for their precious child who can't indulge in occasional junk food at a party. 🙄

I can't get past all these people "expecting variety" and critiquing food at a kids party like they are Jay Rayner reviewing a Michelin star restaurant.

If it bothers you that much, don't let your kids go to the parties. Just don't go crying when your child becomes at upset at being the one who is continually left out of being invited to parties.

And you would judge if there wasn't?

I'd be grateful, home party or not for my child to have been invited to a party and would have been appreciative of the effort the parents spent organising and hosting it. My main wish would be to ensure my child had a good time along with everyone else.

I can't imagine being so uptight and up my own arse, to be demanding that parents provide fruit and veg at a party and then when that isn't provided being so judgemental about it and making a fuss about it