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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

541 replies

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:45

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

OP posts:
Yetone · 09/05/2026 15:19

MapleLeaf190 · 09/05/2026 15:02

I can’t believe these replies.
maybe Canadians are a bit different because our country is so large, we drive a a lot. For example, I would drive at least an hour just to go out for dinner. Or drive 3 hours to visit a friend for the day and return same day.

Are English people usually this transactional/particular? Asking for gas (petrol) money seems totally reasonable but asking to be paid for their time seems insane to me. ITS YOUR BROTHER!! He said yes! He could just say no, if he didn’t want to do it.

Reading this forum for the last few years makes me feel Canadians are just nicer and more willing to help each other? Way less “tit-for-tat”. Probably has to do with having 5-6 months of winter ha ha

Where I live, you do a favour to help someone, and it may mean you don’t come out “even” (with time or money) or gain anything, your just helping someone.

Edited

The UK could fit into Canada about 40 times and has a smaller population. This counts for a lot of differences in behaviours. I have driven in Canada and on the whole, it is a lot less stressful than driving in the UK. You usually don’t spend your time in thick traffic. Here we personally never put the cruise control on because you will be changing your speed soon. Canadian car park spaces have enough room to open your car doors more than a few inches.

Growlybear83 · 09/05/2026 15:18

@MapleLeaf190 Thats a whole different can of worms! Some people will say that they are British, but others will insist they are English, Welsh, Scottish, or from Northern Ireland. But hopefully you will like it here if you visit - most people really do have a sense of humour, are willing to help each other, and don’t hate their mothers in law and older people 😆

MapleLeaf190 · 09/05/2026 15:12

Growlybear83 · 09/05/2026 15:08

I think you would be right in thinking Canadians are nicer than British people if you were to just base thst on what you read on Mumsnet. But thankfully this forum is not reflective of British people as a whole and most people in real life don't think or behave like many Mumsnetters.

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I’ll have to come visit so I can experience “real” UKers! (what do you call people from the UK?).

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/05/2026 15:10

He is a CF.

Growlybear83 · 09/05/2026 15:08

MapleLeaf190 · 09/05/2026 15:02

I can’t believe these replies.
maybe Canadians are a bit different because our country is so large, we drive a a lot. For example, I would drive at least an hour just to go out for dinner. Or drive 3 hours to visit a friend for the day and return same day.

Are English people usually this transactional/particular? Asking for gas (petrol) money seems totally reasonable but asking to be paid for their time seems insane to me. ITS YOUR BROTHER!! He said yes! He could just say no, if he didn’t want to do it.

Reading this forum for the last few years makes me feel Canadians are just nicer and more willing to help each other? Way less “tit-for-tat”. Probably has to do with having 5-6 months of winter ha ha

Where I live, you do a favour to help someone, and it may mean you don’t come out “even” (with time or money) or gain anything, your just helping someone.

Edited

I think you would be right in thinking Canadians are nicer than British people if you were to just base thst on what you read on Mumsnet. But thankfully this forum is not reflective of British people as a whole and most people in real life don't think or behave like many Mumsnetters.

MapleLeaf190 · 09/05/2026 15:02

I can’t believe these replies.
maybe Canadians are a bit different because our country is so large, we drive a a lot. For example, I would drive at least an hour just to go out for dinner. Or drive 3 hours to visit a friend for the day and return same day.

Are English people usually this transactional/particular? Asking for gas (petrol) money seems totally reasonable but asking to be paid for their time seems insane to me. ITS YOUR BROTHER!! He said yes! He could just say no, if he didn’t want to do it.

Reading this forum for the last few years makes me feel Canadians are just nicer and more willing to help each other? Way less “tit-for-tat”. Probably has to do with having 5-6 months of winter ha ha

Where I live, you do a favour to help someone, and it may mean you don’t come out “even” (with time or money) or gain anything, your just helping someone.

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 15:01

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:57

Which is fine? I asked, he named his price, we’ve chatted and I’m getting there using other transport. Not sure why some people are so offended by that!

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So all good!

Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:57

Hallamule · 09/05/2026 14:46

In some families not asking a family member to give up half a day of their time to save on a train fare is considered caring and respectful.

It's quite clear from the brother's response that he feels this ask was above and beyond the normal run of favours.

Edited
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Which is fine? I asked, he named his price, we’ve chatted and I’m getting there using other transport. Not sure why some people are so offended by that!

OP posts:
Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:50

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:40

Didn’t realise I needed to list every single option I was looking at? I’m sorry your family don’t like you very much though

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Shame - looks like you’ll be getting the bus or train as your bro has bailed and no one in family or friends offered

Hallamule · 09/05/2026 14:46

Allisnotlost1 · 09/05/2026 12:56

I feel really sorry for all the pp (not just you) who have such rubbish families that doing a nice thing for each other is seen as the recipient being a CF. There’s a couple of threads at the moment that are very revealing about how cold and transactional some families are, really eye opening tbh.

Show quote history

In some families not asking a family member to give up half a day of their time to save on a train fare is considered caring and respectful.

It's quite clear from the brother's response that he feels this ask was above and beyond the normal run of favours.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:40

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:36

You went straight to train and bus making no mention of dropping a message to mum, dad, uncle, aunt, all your friends etc - who do this airport without thinking!

Edited
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Didn’t realise I needed to list every single option I was looking at? I’m sorry your family don’t like you very much though

OP posts:
Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:36

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:35

As I’ve said many times I will look at other options!! I don’t know what’s wrong with some of you on this thread

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You went straight to train and bus making no mention of dropping a message to mum, dad, uncle, aunt, all your friends etc - who do this airport without thinking!

Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:35

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:34

Ask one of the supposedly many friends and family members you have that do this with no problem at all then. Surely many of them owe you a favour anyway!

As I’ve said many times I will look at other options!! I don’t know what’s wrong with some of you on this thread

OP posts:
Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:34

Ask one of the supposedly many friends and family members you have that do this with no problem at all then. Surely many of them owe you a favour anyway!

Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:26

Yetone · 09/05/2026 13:55

But we are coming up to the summer. You say he could just change his hours/take annual leave/use day off. Presumably if he is really busy in the summer then he could also work more hours.

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I think you’re now making things up and pretending he’s the one making the full profit when he’s not. I’m a bit done with this thread to be honest as it’s been full of people casting aspersions and making up lies. He gets two days off every week, he gets annual leave - that’s not losing money. If it was unpaid leave it would be different but it would just be choosing different working hours for the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:25

Maddy70 · 09/05/2026 14:14

Well he would as he would choose not to work

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He would just take his day off, take a later shift or take annual leave (which is paid!)

OP posts:
Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:14

Maddy70 · 09/05/2026 14:14

Well he would as he would choose not to work

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and summer supposedly his most profitable time whereas winter is dead

Maddy70 · 09/05/2026 14:14

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 13:36

He. Would. Not. Lose. Money.

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Well he would as he would choose not to work

MNBV221 · 09/05/2026 14:14

Maddy70 · 09/05/2026 13:33

Book a taxi. Or pay your brother. See which works out the cheaper. It's reasonable for him to not lose money if he is on zero hours.

Where does OP say he will lose money? Must've missed that I didn't

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 13:59

Yetone · 09/05/2026 13:55

But we are coming up to the summer. You say he could just change his hours/take annual leave/use day off. Presumably if he is really busy in the summer then he could also work more hours.

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Good point. Sounds like winter he takes a massive hit whereas summer is his opportunity for earning a decent income

SingedSoul · 09/05/2026 13:57

If he can't do it for sinking live then he shouldn't do it. He's a CF

Yetone · 09/05/2026 13:55

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 13:49

As I’ve said he’s paid more than me, 0 hours is just what works best for his entire workplace (everyone is on 0 hours), because we’re in a seasonal town that’s very busy in the summer but dead quiet in the winter.

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But we are coming up to the summer. You say he could just change his hours/take annual leave/use day off. Presumably if he is really busy in the summer then he could also work more hours.

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 13:54

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 13:49

As I’ve said he’s paid more than me, 0 hours is just what works best for his entire workplace (everyone is on 0 hours), because we’re in a seasonal town that’s very busy in the summer but dead quiet in the winter.

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I caught zero hours contract is not going to be highly paid!

If you say so commonplace amongst friends and family - how come he seems to be your only option?

Original poster
alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 13:49

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 13:40

it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

He will be on a very low wage I imagine. If he was my little bro, on a zero hours contract, I’d definitely want to pay him. Especially as you say that you’re very chilled about money

As I’ve said he’s paid more than me, 0 hours is just what works best for his entire workplace (everyone is on 0 hours), because we’re in a seasonal town that’s very busy in the summer but dead quiet in the winter.

OP posts:
Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 13:43

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 20:49

Really? It’s really common in my group of friends & family. My uncle, for example, won’t hear of his sisters (my mum and aunt), getting to the airport via any other way than him

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If it’s really common in your friends and family… is there no one else you can ask? No one who you took that would like to now repay the favour?