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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

541 replies

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:45

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

OP posts:
MemorableLlama · 09/05/2026 22:47

Just get a taxi, OP and bear this in mind should he ever want a favour from you in the future!

OrangeSeaGlass · 09/05/2026 22:30

It’s sounds to me like he doesn’t really want to take you and probably knew this would mean he wouldn’t have to. I’ve done that before for family members I don’t really want to help out. 😬

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 21:37

jinglejanglescarecat · 09/05/2026 21:35

She hasn’t expected though. He offered.

i think the whole wear and tear stuff is a bit much when it’s between family and he’s offered to help. Of course he pays insurance etc but when im offering lifts or helping family and friends j don’t make it quite so transactional and send an invoice!

No
she asked
he said yes
op said that is the equivalent of offering

yes, go figure!

jinglejanglescarecat · 09/05/2026 21:35

She hasn’t expected though. He offered.

i think the whole wear and tear stuff is a bit much when it’s between family and he’s offered to help. Of course he pays insurance etc but when im offering lifts or helping family and friends j don’t make it quite so transactional and send an invoice!

LubyLooTwo · 09/05/2026 20:57

Yep get a taxi

FlipFlopVibe · 09/05/2026 20:52

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:57

Which is fine? I asked, he named his price, we’ve chatted and I’m getting there using other transport. Not sure why some people are so offended by that!

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But you posted in AIBU so that’s why people are giving their opinions. If it’s all fine, probably shouldn’t have posted in the first place

Peonies12 · 09/05/2026 20:35

Dont all airports have stations? Get the train or a coach/bus, will be much cheaper.

keepincool · 09/05/2026 20:00

Honestly @alexandrasm ignore the people who don't understand how close-family favours work. They will never get it. Apologies that I haven't read the whole thread, but I hope you've sorted out getting to the airport without having to fork out £115 to your dear brother for his non-favour.

riceuten · 09/05/2026 19:57

A taxi would be more reliable and cheaper. And he would indubitably dine out on it for years to come.

Let him know this.

Cakeandcardio · 09/05/2026 19:47

Blushingm · 08/05/2026 19:49

Are you suggesting his time is worth £0 - it will be 4 hours out if his day.

She's his sister!!!
Bloody hell. I can't imagine living in a world where siblings don't help one another out. Seems very sad!

Libertoo · 09/05/2026 19:26

PicaK · 08/05/2026 19:53

But you've only offered to pay for petrol - not wear and tear on the car. And he has to drive home too.
So 4 hours - c240 miles. 40p a mile is £96.
I think expecting anyone to give you 4h of their time for nothing is CF territory tbh.

40p a mile? This isn’t a company expense he’s submitting 😂 it’ll take about half a tank and cost around £30. £50 for a full tank and a meal would be fine, otherwise op should get the taxi and use the change to get herself lunch

WeRideAtEightForEightThirty · 09/05/2026 19:08

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 14:34

Ask one of the supposedly many friends and family members you have that do this with no problem at all then. Surely many of them owe you a favour anyway!

Why are you being so combative about a mild question?

BewilderedPiskie · 09/05/2026 19:01

Metromayhem · 08/05/2026 19:56

Insane way to treat family. Can’t imagine being so transactional with a sibling! So weird, mumsnet isn’t real 😂

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So agree with this. My brother looked after our kids when my husband arranged a surprise 'dinner and a show' in the west end for my fortieth, he didn't charge for babysitting because he's family and spending time together is lovely not a money making scheme!!

Changednameagain999 · 09/05/2026 19:01

You are not a CF. Your DB is. I’d get a taxi and really think in future about any favours I would do for him.

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 18:37

Pelsall116 · 09/05/2026 18:36

Taxi is cheaper - do that

Brace yourself!

Pelsall116 · 09/05/2026 18:36

Taxi is cheaper - do that

MsGreying · 09/05/2026 18:31

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:35

As I’ve said many times I will look at other options!! I don’t know what’s wrong with some of you on this thread

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Do keep up dear.

ThistleTits · 09/05/2026 18:31

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:53

I can but it’s just inconvenient so I thought I’d ask, don’t ask don’t get and all that. I was pretty happy when he said yes and then offered payment, which I was happy to do. But when he asked for time on top I was shocked 😂

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And perhaps he also believes in "don't ask, don't get."

Cerealtime · 09/05/2026 18:24

stargirl27 · 09/05/2026 18:23

They are bitter as their sibling relationships are transactional/they don’t have anyone who would do this for them

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Well it would rather appear the OP’s is also like this

JadeWriter · 09/05/2026 18:23

£75:for his time? Paying for fuel is reasonable, but his time?. That's unbelievable.

stargirl27 · 09/05/2026 18:23

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:35

As I’ve said many times I will look at other options!! I don’t know what’s wrong with some of you on this thread

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They are bitter as their sibling relationships are transactional/they don’t have anyone who would do this for them

Dancingintherain09 · 09/05/2026 18:16

WallaceinAnderland · 08/05/2026 19:46

No, it would be cheaper to get a taxi so do that.

A two hour journey in a taxi would cost in the region of £200. My relative does airport runs to airport which is 1hr 45 away and that costs £180

Allisnotlost1 · 09/05/2026 15:43

Hallamule · 09/05/2026 14:46

In some families not asking a family member to give up half a day of their time to save on a train fare is considered caring and respectful.

It's quite clear from the brother's response that he feels this ask was above and beyond the normal run of favours.

Edited
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Absolutely, and I’m glad I’m not in one of those families because there is, imo, nothing disrespectful about asking a favour and I’d hate my family to feel they couldn’t ask me.

Hallamule · 09/05/2026 15:22

Canadians may well be nicer people but driving for 4 hours in most of Canada is in no way so stressful as driving for 4 hours in most of the UK (esp in places it has airports).

Hallamule · 09/05/2026 15:20

alexandrasm · 09/05/2026 14:57

Which is fine? I asked, he named his price, we’ve chatted and I’m getting there using other transport. Not sure why some people are so offended by that!

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Me either tbf