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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

541 replies

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:45

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

OP posts:
Lougle · 10/05/2026 19:11

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:59

It’s only 93 miles too, I’d love to know why it takes so bloody long!

Even the mileage alone at £0.45 per mile (the allowance HMRC allows for the first 10,000 miles) would be £83.70, and that's not allowing anything for the fact that he's using 4 hours of his time.

ChillYoga · 10/05/2026 19:10

have you looked at trains from where you are to Cambridge? Seems a lot of hassle to get lift to airport, the whole airport process, waiting about, then having to find a way from London to Cambridge at the other end, with possibly an overnight stay? Might be 3-4 train changes but a much easier journey possibly depending on where you are? And if you include th wait at airport/security etc are you really saving time?

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2026 19:08

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2026 18:57

I hate the phrase ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’. It’s so fucking grabby.

If you ask your neighbour can I borrow a tenner, they will probably feel obliged to say yes, because it’s so bloody awkward to say no, but they really won’t want to.

I just hate asking for favours - I’ll sort myself out thanks.

I don't know about that. There have been times when we've all struggled and managed to do something alone and then being told by someone later that it would have been really easy for them to help us.
Might not be totally the case here as it's a 4-hour drive, but there's nothing wrong with the expression in general.

SharonBe · 10/05/2026 19:07

So about 5 hours in total - £15 per hour? Doesn't seem unreasonable. Get an actual quote for the taxi and offer him that. Or take the taxi.

GetAbsOrDieTrying · 10/05/2026 19:05

We live up north, our closest airport is manchester and about 2hr and 30 mins away. Costs £150 one way. Did you call and check how much the taxi would charge you for that particular day/timings etc. You brother might still be cheaper and I assume more reliable. I can’t imagine charging my sibling but I guess he needs the money.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/05/2026 19:05

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2026 18:57

I hate the phrase ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’. It’s so fucking grabby.

If you ask your neighbour can I borrow a tenner, they will probably feel obliged to say yes, because it’s so bloody awkward to say no, but they really won’t want to.

I just hate asking for favours - I’ll sort myself out thanks.

I’m so used to this myself. Maybe I’m too self-reliant. Maybe sometimes it is actually OK to ask for help as long as you’re very self-aware and considerate to the other person. There’s a balance. But as far as a long run to the airport, I wouldn’t like that unless really necessary, but that’s me.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 19:05

BuildbyNumbere · 10/05/2026 18:43

Seems like it in your world 🤣

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What? You think the middle of the afternoon is stupid o’clock?

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 19:04

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2026 18:57

I hate the phrase ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’. It’s so fucking grabby.

If you ask your neighbour can I borrow a tenner, they will probably feel obliged to say yes, because it’s so bloody awkward to say no, but they really won’t want to.

I just hate asking for favours - I’ll sort myself out thanks.

But it’s the truth, isn’t it? Nobody is obliged to say yes.

OP posts:
HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 10/05/2026 19:01

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2026 18:57

I hate the phrase ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’. It’s so fucking grabby.

If you ask your neighbour can I borrow a tenner, they will probably feel obliged to say yes, because it’s so bloody awkward to say no, but they really won’t want to.

I just hate asking for favours - I’ll sort myself out thanks.

I mean, I can sort myself out but my friends like to support me if they can. And vice versa.

Accepting help isn’t a character flaw or a sign of weakness.

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2026 18:57

I hate the phrase ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’. It’s so fucking grabby.

If you ask your neighbour can I borrow a tenner, they will probably feel obliged to say yes, because it’s so bloody awkward to say no, but they really won’t want to.

I just hate asking for favours - I’ll sort myself out thanks.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2026 18:55

I'm not saying you're wrong in general, but I disagree with your understanding of the word 'offer.

"I asked, he said yes - ergo he offered."

That's accepting/agreeing, not offering. Offering is spontaneous i.e. he would offer without being asked.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 10/05/2026 18:53

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/05/2026 17:47

Personally I think people should manage their own way. Why do they need to rely on friends and family at stupid o’clock unless they’re teens early 20s? Bit weird.

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Why is it weird? Doing nice things for friends and family doesn’t have an age limit.

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 10/05/2026 18:47

I think it's outrageous to charge for his time. He's your brother!

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2026 18:44

"As I say I’ve always made my own way."

I always try to make my own way, but when a rail strike was announced after I'd booked my flight home once, it was either a lift or cancel the whole trip! I'm lucky a family member was able to come. Cost of taxi would have been more than my flight and I would have just had to cancel.

BuildbyNumbere · 10/05/2026 18:43

alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 17:47

It’s not stupid o clock?

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Seems like it in your world 🤣

BuildbyNumbere · 10/05/2026 18:42

alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 18:40

I have. But you’re being incredibly rude. I guess you know the distance of every airport from every major city!

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Nope, but a simple google search will tell me … and yes, I would have a general idea.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2026 18:42

TheBlueKoala · 08/05/2026 20:00

My brother will get me to/from the airport in two weeks. "Just" a 30 minute drive so 1 h total but he would be hurt if I proposed to pay for fuel. So weird that some will calculate not only fuel but also cost of wear and tear and time. I guess all families are different🤷‍♀️. @alexandrasm I think he's being a CF and tell him it's cheaper to just get a cab. Are you sure he wasn't joking?

My brothers wouldn't charge me, but my DM would really tell me off if I didn't give them something towards petrol! Bit of a conundrum!

Original poster
alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 18:40

BuildbyNumbere · 10/05/2026 18:38

Google it 🤦🏻‍♀️

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I have. But you’re being incredibly rude. I guess you know the distance of every airport from every major city!

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 18:40

Lordofmyflies · 10/05/2026 18:39

Sorry OP, but I think you're being a bit unreasonable to expect your DB to give up 4/5 hours of his time, wear and tear and on his car for £40.
Do you drive? I'd be surprised if £40 can fill a tank now ( unless he has a hybrid). I live 2 hrs from Bristol Airport and it costs us about £180 each way - £360 total by taxi. Bristol has also introduced airport waiting charges as well which adds to the cost.
If you want to do the journey for £40 look at bus.

I take it you’ve not read my comments? Yes he has a hybrid.

OP posts:
Lordofmyflies · 10/05/2026 18:39

Sorry OP, but I think you're being a bit unreasonable to expect your DB to give up 4/5 hours of his time, wear and tear and on his car for £40.
Do you drive? I'd be surprised if £40 can fill a tank now ( unless he has a hybrid). I live 2 hrs from Bristol Airport and it costs us about £180 each way - £360 total by taxi. Bristol has also introduced airport waiting charges as well which adds to the cost.
If you want to do the journey for £40 look at bus.

BuildbyNumbere · 10/05/2026 18:38

alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 17:21

Because I don’t know how far Stansted airport is from London, or the cost of a bus that I’ve never used before? Okay love

Show quote history

Google it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Original poster
alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 18:37

Flamingojune · 10/05/2026 18:32

But it sounds like all you want to do is have people slag off your brother.

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Not at all - it’s not that deep. But people being rude about me is uncalled for.

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 10/05/2026 18:32

alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 18:07

No because I’m a bit sick of people being horridly rude to me and making awful suggestions about my character

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But it sounds like all you want to do is have people slag off your brother.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/05/2026 18:30

alexandrasm · 10/05/2026 17:58

I don’t think there’s any need to be snarky - I’ve flown from all over the country alone, and made my own way there. It’s rare that I fly from Bristol so I thought that’s why I’d ask.

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I certainly wasn’t being snarky at all and I wasn’t even addressing that to you, just talking generally in fact.

Your brother was happy to give you a lift then changes the terms. Particularly in these kind of scenarios I’d definitely be making my own way. How far is it Bristol to Stansted was it? I’d get public transport and stay here https://maps.app.goo.gl/k6ikAk3bhWuENQ5a9?g_st=ic
I was actually agreeing earlier your brother is a twat asking for £75 on top.

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https://www.google.com/maps?q=Holiday+Inn+Express+London+-+Stansted+Airport+by+IHG,+Thremhall+Ave,+Airport,+London,+Stansted+CM24+1PY&ftid=0x47d88e4880d00e09:0x4dfe14bb93e2a1db&entry=gps&shh=CAE&lucs=,94297699,94284487,94231188,94280568,47071704,94218641,94282134,94286869&g_ep=CAISEjI2LjE4LjAuOTA2NTA0NDMzMBgAIIgnKkgsOTQyOTc2OTksOTQyODQ0ODcsOTQyMzExODgsOTQyODA1NjgsNDcwNzE3MDQsOTQyMTg2NDEsOTQyODIxMzQsOTQyODY4NjlCAkdC&skid=68f9a24c-fea5-42f3-948b-5ff1565c6896&g_st=ic&ucbcb=1

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/05/2026 18:27

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/05/2026 17:55

As I say I’ve always made my own way. I’m quite independent though. If family are visiting I’d of course drive them in that situation.

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I certainly didn’t mean it to be snarky at all. Your brother was happy to give you a lift then changes the terms. Particularly in these kind of scenarios I’d definitely be making my own way. How far is it Bristol to Stansted was it? I’d get public transport and stay here https://maps.app.goo.gl/k6ikAk3bhWuENQ5a9?g_st=ic

I was actually agreeing earlier your brother is a twat asking for £75 on top.