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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

541 replies

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 19:45

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:38

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:38

I think it’s too much for her hence now looking into trains

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Fuck me you’re obsessed, genuinely just get a grip at this point? I’m looking at the different options to work out what’s best for the timings that I need?

OP posts:
EstrellaPolar · 08/05/2026 21:38

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:36

I reckon the flight out is at the crack of dawn and he’s had second thoughts about 4 hour at least round journey

Why don’t people read? The OP actually disclosed her flight time in an earlier post (not my place to repeat the info, but it was afternoon / evening), so not the crack of dawn.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:38

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:36

I reckon the flight out is at the crack of dawn and he’s had second thoughts about 4 hour at least round journey

To be fair I think you’re just unable to read as I say in my OP the flight is in the early evening, meaning id need to be at the airport for the early afternoon.

OP posts:
Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:38

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:36

Have you booked the taxi OP?

I think it’s too much for her hence now looking into trains

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:37

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:36

Have you booked the taxi OP?

I’m looking at trains - not going to book until closer to the time.

OP posts:
Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:36

I reckon the flight out is at the crack of dawn and he’s had second thoughts about 4 hour at least round journey

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:36

Have you booked the taxi OP?

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:35

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:34

Does he have kids?
what time is the flight you want him to drop you for?

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I’ve already said no, he doesn’t have children. I don’t want to share my travel plans in any greater detail as you’re starting to become very obsessive, but it’s a totally normal time of day, it’s not in the middle of the night.

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 08/05/2026 21:35

My parents would flog me and my siblings if we treated each other like this. YANBU at all, OP.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:35

Flamingojune · 08/05/2026 21:33

So taxi not an issue then?

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I mean I’ve said multiple times I will pay to get the train/bus/taxi but I thought id ask as timings wise and obviously money wise it could end up advantageous for me. I’ve never once said this is my only plan of getting there and my trip is at risk because he’s being funny about it

OP posts:
Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:34

Flamingojune · 08/05/2026 21:33

So taxi not an issue then?

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It would seem it very much is!

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:34

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:31

Where have I expressed that I don’t like it? I’ve said multiple times I’m looking at other options.

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He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”
AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

You called him a CF in your OP.

Hope that helps.

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:34

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:31

That’s the flight home, do try to keep up dear

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Does he have kids?
what time is the flight you want him to drop you for?

Flamingojune · 08/05/2026 21:33

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:18

He’s honestly hilarious. I often wonder how we’re related because I’m so easygoing with my money 😂

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So taxi not an issue then?

Miranda65 · 08/05/2026 21:32

So just get a taxi. I would never dream of imposing on a friend or relative for a lift - I always make my own way to the airport.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:31

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:28

You're the tight one. You don't want to pay for your own travel.

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As I’ve said, I’m happy to. But don’t ask, don’t get.

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:31

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:29

You say the airline has massively changed your flight time.

Did he agree to take you before the massive change in flight time? And what’s it changed to? Crack of dawn?

That’s the flight home, do try to keep up dear

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:31

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:29

Yes but you don't like that he isn't happy to give up 4+ hours of his day for you. I think you're cheeky.

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Where have I expressed that I don’t like it? I’ve said multiple times I’m looking at other options.

OP posts:
Kisskiss · 08/05/2026 21:30

PicaK · 08/05/2026 19:53

But you've only offered to pay for petrol - not wear and tear on the car. And he has to drive home too.
So 4 hours - c240 miles. 40p a mile is £96.
I think expecting anyone to give you 4h of their time for nothing is CF territory tbh.

It’s her brother though… I presume she does nice things for him too? I’d feel awkward charging a family member for my time for a one off favour… would rather not do it if it’s so difficult…

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:29

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:28

I’m happy to ask, yes. If he agrees, fine, we all win. If he says no, I’ll find another way to get there. Isn’t that the entire point of asking for a favour?

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Yes but you don't like that he isn't happy to give up 4+ hours of his day for you. I think you're cheeky.

corkscissorschalk · 08/05/2026 21:29

@alexandrasm
In my family if we always do this sort of thing for each other, no questions asked, no money mentioned.
In my culture I cannot imagine anything more embarrassing than to ask for money for your time. Money to help a sibling would be seen as an embarrassment.

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 21:29

You say the airline has massively changed your flight time.

Did he agree to take you before the massive change in flight time? And what’s it changed to? Crack of dawn?

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:28

alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:18

Nah he can be a right laugh, he’s just really really tight!

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You're the tight one. You don't want to pay for your own travel.

Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:28

Chocolattcoffeecup · 08/05/2026 21:27

I personally would not ask a sibling for money to do them a favour. I wouldn't even ask for petrol money let alone money for my time HOWEVER I actually wouldn't expect them to do a 4-hour round trip for me if I could drive myself or get a taxi or public transport and if my sibling asked this I'd think it was a big ask so actually I think YABU.

You're happy to inconvenience him massively just so you don't have to spend any money on your own travel.

I’m happy to ask, yes. If he agrees, fine, we all win. If he says no, I’ll find another way to get there. Isn’t that the entire point of asking for a favour?

OP posts:
Original poster
alexandrasm · 08/05/2026 21:27

EstrellaPolar · 08/05/2026 21:23

Stansted might be in the middle of nowhere but it’s incredibly well connected. You have coaches into central London departing every few minutes, there’s a direct train to Liverpool St (or Cambridge if you really fancy going there 🤣), and I’m sure National Express and the other companies run some routes west / south. Can’t comment on those as I take the ones east (Norfolk / Suffolk / Essex), but they’re always reliable and cheap.

If none of those work time-wise, I’m sure a cheap hotel and travel home morning after would be just fine, like you said.

Edited

It really depends on what time I land back, I’m hopeful because it’s Ryanair and they tend to not be delayed. But I also like to have breathing room, especially as I’m travelling with checked bags!

OP posts: