AIBU to say no to grandparents taking children abroad?

The parents aren't together. He lives with the mum (not my daughter). She has her own needs that mean it's difficult for her to do many activities outside of the house, so going on adventures and various other physical activities is my 'thing'. She wants me to do these things for him so he doesn't miss out on opportunities, it's not a case of just money, there are other reasons too.

Each their own but I let my parents take my eldest abroad when he was 4 and they all had a great time.

Do you know what’s weird though? Taking young children abroad is a right undertaking. There’s a three year old who could get easily overwhelmed. I have no idea why the GPs would want to take that on. All that packing to make sure that all the right stuff is easily accessible, Are they playing at being mum and dad again?

Not sure if that is addressed to me or not?

He is too busy having fun! He loves our holidays, to the point where when there is a school holiday he asks his mum when I will be collecting him to go on holiday 🤣 Even if it's the Christmas holidays! He used to get upset if he facetimed his mum at bedtime when we first started going away, but he is self aware enough to come to the conclusion himself that it's better not to face time her (he has special needs so has some regulation difficulties, but can identify triggers and avoid them). But he enjoys chatting to her on messenger instead and will ask for my phone so he can message her (he types the messages himself). Or ask me to send her videos or photos of him doing stuff. And he often dictates things I need to tell her/show her.

He is always asked if he wants to go on holiday with me, and we plan the destination/roadtrip together. He usually asks when the next holiday will be, and asks when can we go back to places he has enjoyed.

I would say I'm laid back, with lovely parents & in laws but it would be a hard no from me at that age. Id happily do a joint holiday tho and let them take them out & about!;

I went to the Dominican Repubic with my parents with my 8 year old daughter. I had to have my husbands permission to take her out of the country which involved a notary as he had to sign something that he was happy for his wife to take our daughter out of the country. This was 2024 but I wouldnt feel comfortable with any set of grandparents taking our daughter away to a different country. Overnight in the U.K is fine but not if it involves a plane.

We used to go to France with nan and grandad in the late 60s right up to the tee years.
We ( me brother and sister) absolutely loved it.

Op you do you, bit we have fantastic memories of being with nan and grandad.
My kids liked going away with my mum and dad as well.

It looks like times have changed with people saying the children are too young and wait until they are teens.
The bonding is done when kids are small and holidays are a great time to relax and have fun.
Me and my siblings still laugh at my grandad trying to be strict and nan always over ruling him and nan letting us have extra treats. On the second to last day we would go and choose souvenir presents for mum.and dad!
Great memories!!

Parents are very keen for me to take the child to Florida, Europe, Asia at some point as they will never be able to give him those opportunities and they really want him to have access to these world experiences.

this is sad. Perhaps you could pay for them to go @PurpleCoo on a big holiday with their child

@PurpleCoo have you ever given your son/daughter a gift of some money for a family holiday?

not abroad

Doesn't he miss his mum?

Interesting to read the responses here. I am a grandparent and frequently take my grandson on several holidays a year. Not abroad yet, but we do go off to the Highlands and we live near London so it's a long way. The only reason we haven't been abroad yet is because I have a motorhome, so that's our thing right now, and I don't have enough annual leave to do trips abroad and all the UK holidays too. Parents are very keen for me to take the child to Florida, Europe, Asia at some point as they will never be able to give him those opportunities and they really want him to have access to these world experiences. We have all been saying we need to sort out a passport so we can travel, and discussing places I might take him for several years now. Thankfully both parents are excited and grateful for any opportunities I might give him.

No. I wouldn’t.

My in laws never offered. They rarely went on holiday themselves and did not have a clue about how to interact with our DC.

But in any case, I think 5 and 3 is a bit young to be in a foreign country away from you... How long would it take you to get there if something happened? The three year old would miss you.. and parents are more used to the speed of a 3 year old and more aware of potential accidents.

It would be a hard no from me. Maybe when they were older.

How does it benefit the kids? I find it weird. It's just for overbearing grandparents who want to play at parents again.

I see loads of threads with grandparents wanting overnights and one to one time these days.I just don't see how it benefits tiny children to be away from their parent. It's not what they'd choose.

I'm sure a family holiday might be fun for them (not necessarily you!) but no need to go without you at all.

I can't imagine why they would think you would want to be away from them for so long when they are so young. The dads are always more enthusiastic about this kind of separation in my experience

I traveled with my grandparents as a child, at 9, 11 and 13 (and 26 if that counts)! They were some of the happiest times of my life and still my favourite memories and it was over 30 years ago! I think 5 and 3 is too young but hope you can make it happen one day.

Cant you all go. You and your partner could enjoy some free time on your own as they are clearly happy to take charge of the kids

No to young.

I think they are a bit too young at the moment.

Not everyone hates their in laws

I’d say no as well, much too young. Have they even looked after the two children for any length of tine in this country?

Depends on the in-laws / grandparents involved and how involved they are usually . My mum took our eldest to Disneyland Paris when he was about 3 and I had no issue with that , she was brilliant with him .

Not a chance! My ILs used to go out when abroad and leave their kids asleep in the hotel room … a ‘babysitter’ would pop in every hour or so … 😵
unless they were like me, where my kids go everywhere with me, never get left alone then I ‘may’ let them take them in the UK but abroad .. I worry too much about health care and being able to get to them quickly if necessary