To think that this person was house angel etc ..

crossedlines · 11/05/2026 06:28

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 15:35

I have not posted to ask for your thoughts on whether this is my business or not. I know exactly what’s going on.

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If you know ‘exactly what is going on’, why are you canvassing opinions from people who don’t?

IndysMamaRex · 10/05/2026 22:00

I think it’s the kind of situation where ye mind yer own business

Bluedenimdoglover · 09/05/2026 18:31

If there is nothing you can do, why get involved? People rarely thank you for advice unless it's what they want to hear.

LoopyLoo1991 · 09/05/2026 17:18

My great aunt and her daughter were exactly like this. Bullied her second husband and his son mercilessly. G aunt was eventful jail after stabbing husband the second time - she put up a good front and sobbed so escaped jail the first time. They found out what exactly she was really like.
Probably bipolar but she's long gone now. Unfortunately her daughter has carried on the family nasty streak.

Salyexley · 09/05/2026 17:04

You need to keep it out and don't spread stuff about ppl when you don't know all the facts and even then keep it out

PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers · 09/05/2026 12:09

FungibleAssets · 09/05/2026 00:14

So why are you asking?

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Ikr?

Why is he asking?

Unless he was hoping for a bitchfest…..

74username74 · 09/05/2026 07:41

SylvanMoon · 08/05/2026 23:00

I'm fairly certain the OP is the husband. He has said he's not the MiL nor the woman but someone who is "very close" "directly affected" and "knows exactly what’s going on.". Then consider the language used "the lady in question" (what woman would use that turn of phrase?) and he describes the husband glowingly as "a very involved father and loving husband". He's obviously concerned for her well-being, but by not being very open here about his situation, isn't going to get any useful advice.

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I think you are right.

FungibleAssets · 09/05/2026 00:14

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 15:35

I have not posted to ask for your thoughts on whether this is my business or not. I know exactly what’s going on.

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So why are you asking?

LittleGreenDragons · 09/05/2026 00:05

SylvanMoon · 08/05/2026 23:00

I'm fairly certain the OP is the husband. He has said he's not the MiL nor the woman but someone who is "very close" "directly affected" and "knows exactly what’s going on.". Then consider the language used "the lady in question" (what woman would use that turn of phrase?) and he describes the husband glowingly as "a very involved father and loving husband". He's obviously concerned for her well-being, but by not being very open here about his situation, isn't going to get any useful advice.

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Oh... I was thinking other woman who was after the husband and was looking for ammunition against the wife.

FernsInValley · 08/05/2026 23:56

That is a wonderful suggestion! Whoever the OP is may get the support needed if they can speak with the fear of recognition.

FernsInValley · 08/05/2026 23:24

SylvanMoon · 08/05/2026 23:00

I'm fairly certain the OP is the husband. He has said he's not the MiL nor the woman but someone who is "very close" "directly affected" and "knows exactly what’s going on.". Then consider the language used "the lady in question" (what woman would use that turn of phrase?) and he describes the husband glowingly as "a very involved father and loving husband". He's obviously concerned for her well-being, but by not being very open here about his situation, isn't going to get any useful advice.

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Yes, or else the OP is the wife. The wording of it could be either.

FernsInValley · 08/05/2026 23:23

His friends may be drunken lad types who want him down at the pub drinking watching the games, or perhaps he has a drinking problem and is one of the disgusting men I've read about who get drunk to the point of incoherence, vomiting and urinating everywhere. Which is a very good reason to ask him to stay in.
I don't see why her drinking at home is his friends business.

SylvanMoon · 08/05/2026 23:00

Tiggermad · 08/05/2026 22:11

Why do you care so much ??? Leave others to their own business.

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I'm fairly certain the OP is the husband. He has said he's not the MiL nor the woman but someone who is "very close" "directly affected" and "knows exactly what’s going on.". Then consider the language used "the lady in question" (what woman would use that turn of phrase?) and he describes the husband glowingly as "a very involved father and loving husband". He's obviously concerned for her well-being, but by not being very open here about his situation, isn't going to get any useful advice.

PollyBell · 08/05/2026 22:38

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 16:49

I’m sorry that I’ve confused so many. I’m very conscious of the persons privacy. That was not my intention.
I can assure you I’m sober but in a pickle right now as I’m at a loss as to how to support the family and it is very much my business as I am directly affected.
Thanks for the helpful replies .

How are affected and why are you talking in riddles and what is house angel?

Tiggermad · 08/05/2026 22:11

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 15:11

This is exactly it . She is all of those things but the effects of her drinking has started to cause the breakdown of the family relationships but she doesn’t think she has an addiction. Just some drinks to get through the day.

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Why do you care so much ??? Leave others to their own business.

LittleGreenDragons · 08/05/2026 21:55

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 15:35

I have not posted to ask for your thoughts on whether this is my business or not. I know exactly what’s going on.

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Has either the husband or wife asked for your help, with anything? If not then you are overstepping your relationship/friendship.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 08/05/2026 21:16

74username74 · 08/05/2026 18:47

I meant that if it was, not even chat gpt could make sense of OP’s post.. I was tempted myself to ask chat gpt to explain. Didn’t mean to offend you, sorry.

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I'm sorry too, I thought you were trying to say I was an AI troll but without stepping over the 'troll hunting' line!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/05/2026 20:42

...........it is very much my business as I am directly affected

Okay, so go and ask them.

They'll have a better idea than randoms on MN who haven't got a clue what you mean

queenofnorthsheen · 08/05/2026 20:41

I thought it was street angel house devil- in other words, someone who behaves impeccably whilst out and about but behind closed doors is abusive / domestic violence, etc. An old fashioned phrase.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/05/2026 20:36

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 14:24

im asking if you think that my description of this lady fits the phrase house angel, street devil .. and what in your experience or professional opinion if appropriate, Is going on here ?

What's a "gos friend" for a start?

MNBV221 · 08/05/2026 20:33

Emmz1510 · 08/05/2026 20:21

I can’t make head or tail of this. I’ve never heard of a house angel, I don’t know what ‘gos’ is and can’t figure out what any of this has to do with you.

Gos - "his" typo
House angel - lovely at home, controlling out of the home
What's it got to do with OP - who knows

Frugalgal · 08/05/2026 20:29

onlyaparatraik · 08/05/2026 14:04

Just wondering what you think and need your opinion please.
A woman I know very well is soft, loving and kind a home to her husband and family.
she runs the home super efficiently, is a full time SAHM to adults and basically manages her husbands clothes, meals, past times and social life.
Gos friends don’t like her. They accuse her of being controlling, bossy towards him and largely opinionated.
He says she is entirely different at home albeit with a secret alcohol addiction . Secret to outside the family. Relationships were th husband and children are breaking down.
is this the very typical house angel scenario?
I need objectivity please as I’m too close to the family.
just your thoughts please

Can you start again and write this in a way that makes sense? In what way is she a street devil? What is the problem you are trying to describe? It's irrelevant what her vodka is flavoured like, you've not made sense.

Are you the drunk lady?

Emmz1510 · 08/05/2026 20:21

I can’t make head or tail of this. I’ve never heard of a house angel, I don’t know what ‘gos’ is and can’t figure out what any of this has to do with you.

Cocktailglass · 08/05/2026 19:48

I'm sure most of us are! The professional persona at work, get home, moan, have a drink, let it all hang out lol 😆

Putting on an image of perfection in this case must be difficult and not necessary, trying to prove something?

MrsSofC · 08/05/2026 19:43

It's also confusing because you say this woman doesn't like going out and asks her husband to stay at home too but then you also state she has lots of pastimes and a great social life yet her home is her place and she doesn't enjoy going out.