To ask have you ever bullied everyone

My brother called me a bully for speaking up about what happened in our family. There was incest abuse involving me and my sister by our other eldest brother, and my parents consistently defended him and tried to sweep everything under the rug. When I called out their behaviour and the way they treated me, I was told I was the problem instead. It felt very much like DARVO — deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender — but my brother is completely committed to the family narrative that I’m the bully.

I don't think most bullies realise they were bullies. They excuse their behaviour by calling it banter. I would imagine that there's a massive mismatch in the numbers between people who have been bullied and people who admit they were bullies.

No. I was bullied (teased in primary) so I’d never bully.

I’m not sure. when i was around 17 i had a friend who i would gently (imo) tease about how she dressed. one day she got annoyed and told me to stop, so i did.

in my family, teasing (much more intensively than i did to her) was completely normal. i think because i had brothers, “banter” was accepted as part of life. however I have wondered whether she might have considered my comments to be bullying. Her family were much kinder to each other than my family were, so her standards of behaviour were higher. I actually now look back on how my older brother treated me and consider it bullying, although that never occurred to me at that time because if i ever objected i was accused of sulking, making a fuss, being over sensitive etc.

So perhaps i did bully my friend without realising it.

I think as kids most kids have bullied someone and also been bullied

I honestly don't think I ever have. Bullying is something I consider myself to actively be against and I couldn't see myself wilfully and knowingly engaging in it.

There are probably times when I've spoken churlishly or grumpily to people, and there are times when I'm not actively friendly (to be clear, I wouldn't say I'm unfriendly, either, I'm just not making an effort to be friendly) but those aren't the same things as bullying. If I think a person's not my cup of tea, I'd rather avoid/disengage from them than seek them out to treat them badly.

I didn’t think so but as a young woman I met someone from my primary school and she said she hated me because I never let her play with me and my friends and made her feel pushed out and friendless. I’d honestly barely noticed her at the time and was just playing with my best mates… I was also aged 8 at the time in question. So I think some people read into things. I did apologise if I had done that but it wasn’t something I registered at the time.

Everyone is quite a lot

Yes. Not intentionally but I had a go at someone for not working enough hours.

They were depressed and were doing their best. Having gone through the same thing a bit later in life, I am so so ashamed.

We all need kindness and understanding (unless someone is being a bellend on aibu/relationships, which i think qualifies sassiness in response) and at 19, I didnt understand that.

They got their own back anyway.

I'm a bullying survivor and will never forgive those who deliberatly bullied me.

No, I can be a snarky bitch, but I've never bullied anyone.

No, never. It’s a really awful thing to do.

Good question. I don't think so. But then the person who bullied me out of a job swore blind that she didn't.