Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to go nc with toxic DSis?

64 replies

Chichonian · 08/05/2026 11:39

Dsis, DBil and their baby have announced they are coming to our City to visit and need a place to stay. My partner and I have a small 2 bed flat with open living/kitchen area. Currently we use both bedrooms each night as sleeping separately while we manage nights with our baby (who's under one).

To accomodate entitled Dsis, we have already agreed that my partner and baby will go stay with PIL to free up space in the flat. Dsis and DBil have also insisted they need both bedrooms (not sure why, but I guess that's what me and partner do so fair enough..?)

I also have DS (4) staying with me. He is a ginger BSH cat but i truly consider him part of the family. DS likes to move through the flat at night as he has a strong protective instinct, and cries at closed doors. It breaks my heart. Clearly DS needs to be shut away from baby in the crib in bedroom 1, but I see no reason why he shouldn't have free reign into bedroom 2 while I am upstairs on the sofa. He does tend to beg for food after about 5am (foot nibbling etc.) but thats his prerogative and all totally managable.

Toxic Dsis is insisting now that DS be shut out of both bedrooms at night, and I will be left managing heartbroken, screaming baby boy 😪. This feels like the last straw to me, WIBU to cancel the visit and finally go NC?

OP posts:
Movetoacommuneintooting · 08/05/2026 12:19

I had a very similar experience where family offered us a place to stay and told us not to get an Airbnb, even though we said we’d need both bedrooms. They then insisted we needed to room share with their poodle and were being ungrateful for questioning this! At this point it was too late to source alternative accommodation.

DeposedPresident · 08/05/2026 12:19

Chichonian · 08/05/2026 12:08

I'm just conflict averse I guess so easier to ghost (although maybe not as they on the Eurostar as we speak...)

I understand that. I spent years putting people up at our house because of - whatever reason.

Menopause has been bloody brilliant for me. I genuinely don't GAF anymore and a couple of years ago after one brutal summer (we are in a tourist area) I put all the spare beds into the skip and turned out spare room into a dressing room for me and a mini library.

So, i do sympathise. But i still think you ought to tell them to go get an AirBnb. Thanks

Movetoacommuneintooting · 08/05/2026 12:17

On the surface of it they do sound unreasonable. However, it sounds like you agreed to all of this. You’re clearly very conflict averse so maybe you sounded more amenable than you meant to? I can see why, when travelling abroad with a baby, it would be stressful to discover you’re going to be disturbed by what sounds like a fairly high maintenance cat.

Feelingstressedbutdoingmybest · 08/05/2026 12:16

Dsis and DBil have also insisted they need both bedrooms (not sure why, but I guess that's what me and partner do so fair enough..?)

What? They can't just kick you out of your whole house!

Chichonian · 08/05/2026 12:08

DeposedPresident · 08/05/2026 12:01

I'd really ask why you are apparently more prepared to go NC than tell them to stay somewhere else.

I'm just conflict averse I guess so easier to ghost (although maybe not as they on the Eurostar as we speak...)

OP posts:
Getmeacoffeenow · 08/05/2026 12:07

I would let DS decide, cats rule.

DeposedPresident · 08/05/2026 12:01

I'd really ask why you are apparently more prepared to go NC than tell them to stay somewhere else.

DeposedPresident · 08/05/2026 12:00

They can still go to an AirBnB.

Don't let them roll over you. Just put your foot down.

Chichonian · 08/05/2026 11:57

Not to drip feed but worth adding that reason they are coming down is because it is their Niece's christening so important occasion 🙀

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 08/05/2026 11:56

Your cat is your son?

Anyway why on earth your partner would move out to accommodate visitors is beyond me

Clarinet1 · 08/05/2026 11:51

I agree that you shouldn’t let Dsis and family take over your home but, although I love animals, I think YABU referring to DCat as DS!

Endofyear · 08/05/2026 11:50

Just tell them they can't stay with you. End of story.

ThejoyofNC · 08/05/2026 11:45

Why are you allowing someone to come and take over your home? Tell her to piss off.

DeposedPresident · 08/05/2026 11:41

Just tell them to get an AirBnB.

Less dramatic.