AIBU to think my children would not care about £7 maintenance?

I totally get why it makes you so furious to get these emails and texts every month for such a pathetic amount. I would see if you can set up a rule in your emails to divert all CMS emails to a different folder - I do this for a few emails and never see them - and on your phone, block the CMS number. And open a new bank account for the money to go into, and then see if you can forget all about it until the kids are older.

If it still makes you angry without seeing the reminders, then I would just cancel it, because it’s not enough money to be worth the toll on your mental health.

They might resent it if they knew it could have gone into a savings account and after a few years it would have been a reasonable amount.

I would say it's also a principle thing. I wouldn't let him off fully just because he can't be bothered to pay.

£336 a year, that would cover some school uniform. It's all worth it, put it in a savings account.

It absolutely is op"s money. She's paying many many multiples of it look after the children. She can spend it however she wishes. And if she wishes to reject it thats fine too - he would then be free to put it in a savings account for the kids if he wished

It is not your money

Put the money into a child ISA, your children can decide what to do with the money at 18

If you invested £7 per week until they were 18, and they waited until they were 40 to access the lot, at average investment returns it’d be worth about £50k. If you put it straight in their pension, it’s likely be worth £155k by the time they’re 55.

Seems worth it to me.

Nothing to do with whether they care or not
.matter of principle save it and use it for something for them when its a decent sum.

I’d keep receiving it.

in years to come you don’t know what the children will feel. They may search for their dad, their dad may search for them. That could be used as leverage against you. As in kids ask him why he never bothered, he spins it round and says I did try I was paying then your mum stopped it she wouldn’t let me see you. You know it’s lies but the kids just go on what they see and hear.

you may not need the cash and I agree £7 doesn’t make much difference when you are able to meet their needs but pop it into a ln account for them and then it’s there for when they turn 18, however much it is.

I’m just appalled that people think they can drift through life not working cause ‘mental health’. It’s pathetic. Enabling them is bankrupting our country. What good is it doing for these people either. His benefits should be stopped. Then he’d be FORCED to work.

It's their money, not yours.

It’s a terrible amount and I wouldn’t necessarily keep but you could consider investing it into a junior sipp which would give them a sizeable pension pot with tax relief and compound interest at 57/60. Or a junior isa at 18 (which has less opportunity to compound but might be worth something). I think it partly depends on how financially strong you are; what the ££ is worth with compound interest over time and how much upset it causes you.

Could you block the email and the text message on your phone?

They wouldn’t know unless you told them, would they? I had no idea how much my dad paid my mum till she told me in my early 20s. It wasn’t very much but then she wasn’t overly bothered because he bought me lots of clothes, tech when I got older, paid half towards school trips, paid for my bday parties and extracurricular stuff etc.

I wouldn’t have had a clue (nor really cared) if she didn’t say. Your DC will likely be the same, they might ask you one day in which case you just say he paid £28 a month. I wouldn’t stop claiming, he should contribute something.

Why should your ex pay zero ?

It is his responsibility to contribute

£6.5k over 18 years

Your child or children should not loose out !

Reading your responses you seem very stuck on what response you want. Why have you bothered to ask us then, you’ve already made your decision, you don’t need us to verify it.

Don’t know how old they are, but up to 3,000 to give each of them when they’re 18 would at least be something positive.

Set up a separate bank account in your kids name and get the payment changed directly to there - then ignore the account. Give them the details when they turn 18. They can put it towards uni/a car etc.

Dont use it out of principal but put it into a savings account and share it out between the kids when they get a house or something. It will be more useful that way

Not one person is telling you to appreciate it. They are just saying accept it, don't turn it down?
Everyone agrees with you that £7 is shite but it's still not nothing and your children are marginally better off with it, than without it?

You sound a bit silly tbh. If you turn it down what's in it for you and the children - just the satisfaction of telling people he pays 'nothing' for his kids? I'd rather have £350 a year.
Nobody is suggesting it's anything like a decent contribution to his kids but the point is anything is better than nothing.

I wouldn’t cancel it, but I wouldn’t chase it either. Have it paid into a separate account, if he stops paying, well then that it. It will come up at some point during your children’s lives. You don’t want to have to say “ well he did to pay for you but I stoped it” and if they ever get in touch with him, he will definitely turn it and say “I wanted to pay, it was all I could afford but your mum wouldn’t let me”

For me it's the principle, that the other parent has to contribute! Even if you don't need it, put it in a bank account for them! It will eventually add up.

I would carry on taking it and maybe earmark it for cat litter, toilet paper or other mundane essentials. If ex is on benefits he'd certainly notice if he was £28 a month better off and I wouldn't want that!

I would take it and invest in a junior stocks and shares isa, at a low risk return over 10 years that would be just under £5k . So the question is do you want your children to have a £5k fund in 10 years?, will they resent you for deciding they shouldn’t get this? For me it’s an easy one, take the money, it’s money for them, not really yours to refuse. As someone who grew up poor but had since financially educated myself, I certainly feel a little resentful and quite disappointed with similar decisions my parents made (although say nothing as I don’t want to upset them)