AIBU to think my children would not care about £7 maintenance?

I agree. I have no idea why OP created a thread other than to rant (not unjustifiable). There is zero point in offering advice/opinions as OP sounds as angry at the responders as she does her ex. 🤷‍♀️

Well do what you must. No one here is going to change your mind.

OP take the money, don’t take the money. Get yourself some therapy to have some closure. This loser doesn’t care about his and yours children at all. That’s the big message he’s sending you a big FU I’m afraid. Sadly too Amy mothers don’t see what terrible men these are. If these men have no values, no real interest in children (ie go along with it or let themselves get persuaded), are selfish. Don’t have children with them. They have issues and are not mature enough to have a family and be a good role model and once children arrive it gets 10 times worse as children are hard work.

I got that from the first few responses too. Didn’t actually want any advice at all. She wanted sympathy. She’s not the first in this situation and sadly won’t be the last. There are too many men who have the lowest of standards and create families when they should have said no because they know they’re selfish and would be a shit parent. Honesty rather than the heartbreak of all these mums and kids would be way better down the line. It’s disgusting how these loser fathers behave. The lowest of the low in my opinion. I wonder what childhoods they had.

I think you need to ask yourself if cancelling it is for your benefit or your children’s.

I'd still keep it ticking over. The money is for the kids, not for you.
However, we're abroad and I don't really need to do any "chasing". Ex is currently in arrears (because he is clinging to the ridiculous idea of UK child maintenance and the seemingly quite lax enforcement system...it's very different here) and the court will dock his pay once we get to it. I'm financially independent enough to not need "his" money, but I'm also required by law to pursue child maintenance for my children. Luckily, I'm in no hurry...so he can just piss the court off. He'll have to pay all of it, including interest, eventually. In the UK, he'd pay about £400 a month. Here, he's liable for about 1.2k.

We could all agree that £7 is not enough but YOU are saying you will cancel it. Nobody says it should be used for savings but if you are thinking of cancelling it you may as well put it in savings if it doesn’t make any difference in your day to day expenses. I don’t get your hostility at all.

This. Make it useful for them for the future, very little helps.

I don’t get this post… you ask if your children would care or resent it but then you say nobody discusses maintenance with their kids so you have no intention telling them. So …. Why ask? You already decided what you’re doing and what is the ‘right’ answer here. And as for other threads mentioning £250 and nobody telling them to save it etc. We all agree that £7 is pathetic. We all do. It’s just that other posters are not asking if they should cancel it- if they did they would be told they are ridiculous!

100%

I get the bitterness but why confront strangers over the internet each time an answer is given that she doesn’t like. >shakes head and walks away<

FGS woman, I’ve given an answer to your question on a public forum. If you made your mind up just crack on with it.

It can be for either of those things. Nothing is set in stone. One year's contribution is about the same as my last laptop purchase, which might be useful. Obviously your call.

I would keep taking it as im sure it pisses him off every month, stupid man.

The previous thread was exactly the same.

ITs clear that you dont actually want advice.

You dont want to discuss why you are so angry and why you think cancelling it is a good idea. I think all you wanted was people to back you up.
So I am out.

I genuinely wish you well.

From what you've described he sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate person and is unlikely to save any money for children has no contact with. If he did save it, do you think he would had over hundreds of pounds to his children later in life and even if he did. Would you want that? A Dad who swoops in when they are learning to drive, or need kit for college or support at University of that's the path they decide. Wouldn't you rather the money came from you through your resilience and hard work? You are paying everything every day. You are taking, as you rightly said, a pathetic amount of money and turning it into something usable for their future.

Alternatively you don't need to give it to them as a lump sum, you could put it towards a bigger holiday in the future for you to make memories.

You are the one grafting every day so you are right to feel it's an insult but I personally would rather it in my pocket than his

I understand why you feel it's a pathetic amount however I would feel disappointed if I found out my father had been contributing some money that could have been invested to give me some financial security when I needed it. Car insurance is not cheap so having something to contribute towards it will help. If you don't need the money and you are able to set aside the extra ~£30 a month for savings then do that.

I completely understand why you are frustrated but the money is to support your children and I agree £7 a week doesn't come close to that but it is something long-term. I also wouldn't frame it as the savings have come from the absent father. You made the decision to save for their future by giving them everything you had day to say. Also if he's on benefits, it's not his money anyway. He'll be receiving a little less which I'd personally rather go into my children's pocket than his.

Just put it in their junior isas

No, I think most kids would be happy to get something from DF no matter the relationship. Put it into savings for them, it all adds up.

It might have minimal impact but it is symbolic and that might mean something to them as they get older. Save it away and every few months get a takeaway or like others suggest stick in a high interest account for when they get older.

The money is far less relevant than the principal. While they might not care if you cancel it, when they’re older and asking their dad why he didn’t contribute and he says you stopped the money, that may have an emotional bearing on your relationship with them not his.

Ultimately it’s their money, they’re owed it for their care and upkeep from their father. It may not be much help but it’s something and that something might just be important to them as they start to understand dynamics better.

I dont assume that he is now, but I suspect that he will be eventually because people like this dont change.

You seem so angry and bitter. Why is that? I felt that for a while with my ex but not for 10 years. Its an awfully long time to hang on to that resentment. There comes a time to draw a line under things and move on.

And I stand by what I said that cancelling the claim is just helping him out. Its like stamping on your own foot and expecting him to get a broken toe.

^
Plus it’s the principle.

Many years ago, ex-H was in receipt of means-tested benefits and was supposed to give me £5 a week for our two DC. I don't think I ever got it! Can't remember now why I never chased it.