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Original poster

Friend called me fat - can’t stop thinking about it

210 replies

Confusedmind96 · 07/05/2026 21:28

Hi

im going to try and make this as concise as possible and for it to make sense, just feeling a bit down though and wondered if anyone had any advice

I’ve always been fine with my body- I’ve never had any issues, tbh I played a lot of sports and had a fast metabolism which runs in my family and I’ve never had any concerns about my weight. I thought I’d stayed a fairly similar weight but I’ve definitely filled out a bit more in certain areas as im in my mid 20s now but I’ve been fine with it

But recently one of my friends made a joke and called me fat. He said it in a banter sort of way and I don’t think it was meant to be hurtful, but he made a joke that I had gained lots of weight and was heavy/chunky.

it honestly felt like something in my brain clicked in that moment and ever since then I haven’t been able to look at my body the same way

the thing is, i KNOW im not fat. I can tell from the number on the scales and from looking in the mirror. I’m not posting on here for people to say ‘omg hun you’re soo skinny!’ and fishing for compliments because I know I’m not fat, but it’s like when I look in the mirror it’s as if I see something completely different now.

i went into river island the other day to try on a dress because I have an event soon and basically burst into tears in the changing room because all I could find was issues with my body- I’ve got cellulite on my legs, my arms are bigger than they used to be and I’ve got a fat roll between my arm and chest (like a fold of skin at my armpit when I hold my arm by my side)

it was awful, I tried on a dress which I loved but I was so upset I couldn’t even focus and just wanted to get out asap because I couldn’t stomach even looking at myself in the mirror

i took some photos at the time, and the weird thing is from looking at them I KNOW im not fat, im not trying to pretend I am, but its like when I look in the mirror my brain sees something totally different. When I look objectively at the picture I know I’m not fat, but then when I look at myself all I see is my issues and it’s like something has totally clicked in my brain after the joke my friend made

I tried to speak to my friends for advice but they rolled their eyes and did the whole ‘don’t pretend you’re fat for attention or compliments’ thing. I tried so hard to explain I know im not fat and im not trying to pretend to be so they can tell me how skinny i am, but it’s like when i look in the mirror i see a totally different person and all i can see is problems now and it genuinely feels like my brain has been warped

just wondered if anyone had any advice or tips or had experienced similar? I’m so self conscious now in everything I wear and every meal I eat now and it’s just so exhausting always worrying about my body x

OP posts:
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Bertiebiscuit · 07/05/2026 21:38

notallwombats · 07/05/2026 21:29

Your friend is a cunt.

Ghost him, he's no friend, frankly he's an abusive arse, wipe him out if your life, how dare he! I feel really angry on your behalf, what an evil thing to say to you. "kick him to the kerb" as they say, he doesn't deserve your friendship, he has a nasty agenda and he's a bully.

Original poster
Confusedmind96 · 07/05/2026 21:38

Hatty65 · 07/05/2026 21:32

I wonder why you are giving so much headspace to what some dickhead bloke said?

Is he someone you secretly fancy? I know you said 'friend' but 'tactless twat' sounds more like it and I genuinely can't see why it has bothered you so much. You repeatedly say you know you aren't fat, that your weight is pretty stable, that other friends think you are fishing for compliments.

I think you need to put this into perspective and realise that one person's throw away remark should not be enough to damage your own self image and self worth.

Honestly, I have no idea why it’s taken up so much space in my head 😳 I’ve taken jokes against myself as banter and nothing has ever, ever affected me like this. Honestly when he said it it felt like a shiver went down my spine and something immediately changed in my brain. I don’t know why it made such an impact on me when nothing else ever has but the comment really did something to me

nah I definition don’t fancy him he’s just a mate (long term group of friends from back in the school days!) x

OP posts:
onetrickrockingpony · 07/05/2026 21:38

Please be careful and kind to yourself. This person is not a friend and this comment has really harmed you. Whatever you can do to bolster your mental health is really important. This may sound very dramatic but perhaps consider therapy to try and nip this in the bud because the way that you are thinking about your body is alarming xxx

asdbaybeeee · 07/05/2026 21:37

Not your friend. A low self esteem person who wanted to put you in your place. I’d lose the weight of that friendship.
You have got into a negative mindset to try and counteract it try doing some positive affirmations around loving and being proud of yourself

changednameagain1234 · 07/05/2026 21:37

Well he isn’t your friend is he. Even if you were fat which you aren’t, a friend would not say that to you.

Sounds like he was putting you in your place and purposely trying to knock your confidence and it worked didn’t it.

Anyone would feel the same if a ‘friend’ said that. Remember it’s not true, remember how you felt about yourself before he said it.

What a wanker he sounds

GettingFestiveNow · 07/05/2026 21:34

it honestly felt like something in my brain clicked in that moment and ever since then I haven’t been able to look at my body that arsehole of an ex-friend the same way

Fixed it for you.

Can't help wondering if he was trying to neg you, but either way his opinion is invalid. Btw folds of skin between arm and chest are essential - if we didn't have them we'd be unable to raise our arms.

Hatty65 · 07/05/2026 21:32

I wonder why you are giving so much headspace to what some dickhead bloke said?

Is he someone you secretly fancy? I know you said 'friend' but 'tactless twat' sounds more like it and I genuinely can't see why it has bothered you so much. You repeatedly say you know you aren't fat, that your weight is pretty stable, that other friends think you are fishing for compliments.

I think you need to put this into perspective and realise that one person's throw away remark should not be enough to damage your own self image and self worth.

WonderingWanda · 07/05/2026 21:31

Ditch the prick who made you feel this way by commenting on your appearance.

FrankieMcGrath · 07/05/2026 21:31

notallwombats · 07/05/2026 21:29

Your friend is a cunt.

This!

notallwombats · 07/05/2026 21:29

Your friend is a cunt.