To think people hate being alone because they don’t like themselves?

I love being alone, but I disagree. People are just different, some like lots of company, some like to be alone. There will be people in both groups who dislike themselves and people in both groups who are very confident in themselves.

Well, I don’t like myself and I like being alone! It takes the pressure off.

This is exactly why I wouldn’t want to live with someone.

I love living by myself, I enjoy my own company. Although, I see my friends and family pretty often, I might feel different if I didn’t have a good social circle.

When I first divorced over 10 years ago I found living alone much more difficult to adjust to after family life 24/7. I did have young kids 50/50 so half the time I wasn’t alone but when I was it was trickier and I didn’t enjoy it.
Now I love the peace and quiet when youngest DC is away and oldest is at uni. I have plenty to do if I want some company though.
I miss someone to cuddle up to but sleep much better alone. In most of my relationships I’ve not wanted to live together but in the last one I did, which went spectacularly wrong. So I’m really not sure whether I would again.
I also disagree with PP’s descriptions as I enjoy being alone but am most certainly not an introvert. No one who has ever met me would describe me as that!

The underlying assumption in using the word ‘distraction’ is that the ‘real’ experience that deserves time and attention is being alone gazing inwards. There probably was a time when I thought that way, but I don’t any more. Being with people isn’t a distraction from what matters, it is itself something that matters. You could just as well say that time alone navel-gazing is a distraction from being with people.

I’m a pain in the ass and not my biggest fan. I love spending the vast majority of my time alone.

I had a happy marriage then was widowed. Dc now at uni.

Best for me was living with my family
I think if a couple or family are happy that's the ideal.

2nd best for me is living on your own with plenty of friends/family you see regularly.

Way down the list would be living in an unhappy family. I grew up with that and living on my own is much better than staying in a shit marriage for the sake of not being on your own would be. Or being a kid in an unhappy family like i was.

I've lived solo for 9 years now, and sometimes, yeah it'd be nice to have someone to discuss things with, get a second opinion etc. But mostly I love being able to simply please myself and I'm not sure I ever want to share a living space again, even if I do find the right person. I have a very active social life, so I'm out and about probably 5 evenings out of seven, so I'm not lacking in company. But I do know people who simply can't live alone without getting terribly depressed. (Mostly the sort of older men who want their wives to buy their clothes for them and tidy their sock drawer).

It took me about a year to get used to living by myself after a separation. 25 years on and I would never live with anyone again. Love the freedom to do and watch what I want

I have a long term partner who I see 2-3 times a week, some lovely friends and I volunteer. Usually if I haven't anything on I wander down to a coffee shop by the sea. Regular haunt and I know the owner and staff pretty well

I struggle a bit if I don't see someone for a couple of days but that is fairly rare.

I disagree. I'm on my own most of the time. I'm currently out of work due to health issues, and my son is 18 and always out and staying over with his partner most of the time. And he will be moving out in a few weeks.

I visit my mum here and there but no one comes to visit me. I was in a badly abusive relationship for a long time and it made me lose touch with all my old friends, and I've struggled to find new ones since. I'm single.

I just feel quite alone and I think it's akin to sensory deprivation, hardly ever talking to anyone alongside not having much to do. I feel really bored, and I miss having more human connections with people.

I've got my lovely cat though, and he's my little buddy

I like myself

I’d love to live alone again and don’t hate myself

You enjoy your own company if you're an introvert. You don't if your an extrovert. Nothing more than that!

I'm just a bit dull, I know myself well and start to bore myself after too long alone. Other people bring some entertainment and interest.

How very judgemental - and frankly goady - and frankly insensitive.

I live alone as my OH died. I have no problem with myself - I do not dislike myself - I just miss the warmth and closeness that has now gone and will never return.

I would suggest that you ask for your thread to be removed for the sake of all those others in this same sad boat. .

I can imagine why that would feel lonely at times then

I did say thought that I thought my opinion was probably offensive. Nevertheless, I still think it.

I lived alone for many years. It was 50/50 fine vs miserable. I had no issues enjoying my own company on occasions but there were many, many times when the only human contact I had (outside of work) was the checkout person in Asda on a Saturday morning.

Plus I worked it out that I hadn’t had even a hug or a simple human touch in years. That’s not healthy.

Nailed it.

I think (and I am also pretty opinionated) that judging people whose habits and preferences are different to your own as “weak” is both rude and lacking in imagination.

I’m equally happy alone or in company, but have sufficient empathy and imagination to understand that there are many fabulous people who have tastes quite different to my own.

@SilkSilk I think it comes pretty close unless a friend or family member are going to move in with you. I think it's the long evenings, nights and mornings that people not used to being alone find most difficult.

If I didn’t work and go into the office every couple of weeks I wouldn’t interact with anyone for longer than a minute for months and months. I don’t always want to go in but I do recognise it’s good for me to do so, and it’s never as bad as I imagine it to be. I do have loose social connections with some of my neighbours and I go to small group personal training twice a week. I don’t really have strong social connections though.

But losing a partner doesn’t equate to being ‘alone’ unless theyre literally the only person in the world you have a relationship with. @Belladog1 ’s post is strange to me because it’s echoed in so many Mn posts — posters who say they have no friends, literally, and never have had, but somehow have the inclination and social skills required to find a partner.

I have lived alone for many years and I have been single for many years. And I don’t have many friends. I’m autistic, which plays its part in why this is my life. I would like more friends, but I don’t really want a relationship or to live with anyone else. I used to have quite a lot of other friends but they all went off, got married and had kids so they all kind of fizzled out after a while. Those people don’t really want single, childless people in their lives anymore, understandably I guess. I am not particularly lonely and I enjoy my own company, but it would be nice to find ‘my tribe’…..if such a thing exists.

I hear you @Indianajet people are quite sure that if they were widowed then they would never remarry or seek companionship, but just sit in splendid isolation. The data doesn't support that at all.

I keep citing the stats on the protective health and mortality benefits of both loose social connections (in communities) and of strong ones (relationships, good friendships), and of work (depression and loneliness correlated with that) but no-one on here apparently benefits from these things and it's only other people who get sicker, lonely and lose cognitive ability by being by themselves most of the time.