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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking friend to reschedule our day out because she said she’ll have to bring her child

85 replies

Marshmallows1302 · 07/05/2026 10:15

I’m a mum to 2 small children, friend has 1 small child. This weekend we planned a childfree afternoon out, but her DP has forgotten and apparently booked something in. She now said she’ll have to bring her little one along.

AIBU to cancel and ask to reschedule and go and enjoy a nice afternoon out childfree by myself? This isn’t the first time her DP has done this

OP posts:
SandwichSuperstar · 07/05/2026 11:55

G5000 · 07/05/2026 11:46

OK who is that 1% who thinks OP is unreasonable??

People often say they vote the 'opposite way' when they feel someone has asked a silly question.

Maybe it's that?

SilkSilk · 07/05/2026 11:53

G5000 · 07/05/2026 11:46

OK who is that 1% who thinks OP is unreasonable??

It might be that they think she’s unreasonable for not telling her friend this has been planned forever, and that her husband needs to cancel his plans so the childfree outing can go ahead as planned, I suppose?

G5000 · 07/05/2026 11:46

OK who is that 1% who thinks OP is unreasonable??

MyDeftDuck · 07/05/2026 11:43

Absolutely not unreasonable at all…….i don’t care how well behaved my friends kids are, if we’ve arranged a child free event then it is just that……child free!

Butterme · 07/05/2026 11:38

Definitely reschedule!!

Her DP is doing this on purpose and friend needs to miss out to realise it.

I would be asking why his plans take priority but I’m sure he’ll come up with some excuse about it already being said for, to do with work, once in a lifetime etc and swear that she’s free to go out any other time.

My friend had a DP like this.
In the end we fell out over it as I’d pay a babysitter and then she’d let me down last minute. It happened a few times and then I refused to make any other plans with her.
Her DP was controlling but my friend was the one who let me down.

G5000 · 07/05/2026 11:31

but her DP has forgotten and apparently booked something in

Why does that automatically mean your friend's plans are modified, if they both agree hers were booked first?

outerspacepotato · 07/05/2026 11:28

Cancel. Tell her you need child free time and you'll meet up when that's possible.

Does she make plans that her husband books over often?

Bristolandlazy · 07/05/2026 11:26

100% voting, impressive. No thanks to other people's children. I would say "let's reschedule for when you're free" and she will hopefully get the message.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/05/2026 11:25

Reschedule and say why.

SnappyQuoter · 07/05/2026 11:24

Yes, cancel. Her issues with her partner not listening to her plans aren’t your problem. Tell her you’re looking forward or a child free day so will rearrange once she confirms dates with her partner for childcare.

2021x · 07/05/2026 11:23

The kid goes with the father as he is the one that forgot.

LivinginanNDhouse · 07/05/2026 11:22

Timeforidentitychange · 07/05/2026 10:17

Yup. There’s no way I’d be supposedly having a child free afternoon whilst entertaining someone else’s kid. You might as well have yours with you.

it’s either child free or it isn’t.

This and just say sorry you can’t do a child free afternoon let’s reschedule it.

lunar1 · 07/05/2026 11:20

If I’d specifically got child care for my own, I’m not spending it with someone else’s!!

SandwichSuperstar · 07/05/2026 11:18

NorthFacingGardener · 07/05/2026 10:55

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 100% unanimous poll before.

Because it's glaringly obvious the OP isn't BU.

Legsahoy · 07/05/2026 11:16

NorthFacingGardener · 07/05/2026 10:55

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 100% unanimous poll before.

This!! Never ever saw a unanimous result!!

It may be a MN first 😂

Legsahoy · 07/05/2026 11:15

No way I’d trade a rare child free day to spend it with someone else’s child!!

Enjoy your peace…alone!!

SilkSilk · 07/05/2026 11:11

I’d be saying ‘Well, this has been in the diary for weeks. Tell Nigel he’s going to have to take a rain check on darts either the lads.’

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 07/05/2026 11:10

Yanbu. I wouldn’t be leaving my child at home to spend all day with someone elses kid no chance.

Ellie1015 · 07/05/2026 11:03

Absolutely fine to reschedule. There is no way i am spending a rare child free afternoon with someone else's toddler.

NorthFacingGardener · 07/05/2026 10:55

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 100% unanimous poll before.

NorthFacingGardener · 07/05/2026 10:54

Nooo, I wouldn’t be leaving my own children at home to have a day out with someone else’s. Only exception is a tiny baby who allows you to still have a conversation.

Definitely reschedule. If you don’t, I guarantee this will happen again. Hope you enjoy your childfree afternoon.

99bottlesofkombucha · 07/05/2026 10:50

Yep, do it, you’ll help her to push back against her dp next time. Hes a twat.

BernardButlersBra · 07/05/2026 10:48

YANBU l would do the same in your shoes.

Her DP needs to organise himself better and experience some natural consequences I.e. he cares for his child while your friend has plans

Breadandsleep · 07/05/2026 10:44

YANBU. Rearrange the meeting with your friend and enjoy your childfree afternoon.

Zov · 07/05/2026 10:42

Yep, re-arrange. Also, tell your friend that she needs to have words with her partner who seems to be derailing the plans she makes with friends for his OWN social life. Sounds like she has a problem with him.