Should I go to a wedding alone with a 10-week-old?

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Is it local? Could you ask if you could confirm nearer to the wedding date? We only had to confirm our final numbers 2 weeks beforehand (hotel reception). Might be best if you can wait and decide nearer the time. I don't see the issue with not inviting partners. At least 10 week old should hopefully sleep most of the time in a sling or pram.

I took mine to a wedding at 8 weeks and it was all lovely. DH was there but it would have been fine without - the main time he was needed was to hold her while I ate, but I'm sure anyone else on the table would have taken her. However it was a fairly relaxed family-friendly reception, which may have made a difference - it might be a bit different if it's the sort of wedding where people are taking advantage of not having the kids there to get plastered.

(Originally my husband was going to attend alone - or possibly not at all - as the date was 2 weeks after due date. When DD arrived prematurely, the bride got in touch to ask whether we'd like to all three come after all.)

Is it local?
Do you intend to breastfeed? (or could you leave the baby with your DH)

These factors would influence my decision.

Personally I wouldn't go on my own with a baby if no other mothers I knew would be there with small children. You will just be stuck with a baby at a child-free event.

ETA - actually it probably isn't local as you say you don't live in the same place.

Unless there are loads of your other friends there I probably would just decline.

Enjoying going places with your partner or even, as I was actually commenting on - not seeing them as a chaperone - is not the same thing as being incapable of going somewhere on your own.

Your narrow rhetoric is hyperbolic and ridiculous.

It depends on how the baby is and how long you’d like to be there.

1. It's rude not to invite the spouse.
2. You know full well what it's like with a 10 week old baby. It's not the time to socialise with a room full of drunk strangers on your own!

If it was a good friend I’d go with the baby but it would depend on the baby. At 10 weeks my baby was a breeze and we did lots of solo travel (to see family in another country) from 6 weeks.

Depends on travel and who else will be there for me. I have no problem with spouses not being invited if they don't know them and aren't family. I've been to loads of colleagues weddings like this. I'd think it was really sad if someone could only invite half their friends so that they could fit in spouses they barely know, who probably wouldn't enjoy it much anyway if they don't know many people. She obviously does want you there or she wouldn't be flexible about the baby coming, so ignore people saying she doesn't.

However, it will be hard work on your own unless you have good friends who will help you out holding baby etc, and also probably not much fun unless you have friends you want to see. It's also probably not worth travelling a long way as that adds stress and there's always the chance if baby is very fussy you'll want to leave.

If it is close perhaps you could consider if only going to part of it would work.

If it's local I'd go. sit at the back of so you can nip out if you need to & either skip the reception or play it by ear. I'd be very open with the bride and ask if they'd prefer you to decline reception in case you needed to leave early & empty space at dinner.

I wouldn't travel any distance for a wedding in that scenario.

Only go if you want to. Not inviting your husband is rude and being with a ten week old at a wedding solo is likely to be hard so I think absolutely okay to decline.

I wouldn't go. The whole things sounds really unwelcoming. Not inviting partners is really rude...and it's a child free wedding so I wouldn't take a baby even if they say it's fine. Give it a swerve

How far away is it?

From your post it sounds like you don’t want to go, so don’t.

YABU to be ‘sad’ about her decision not to invite your H.

Not everyone wants to share one of the happiest days of their lives with strangers, they’d rather give that spot to a friend or family member

I may just be a female but I am perfectly capable of going to events on my own, we are not joined at the hip so no a chaperone is the last thing I think of in a husband

If you think of your DP as a chaperone, I can see why you might not understand why someone would miss theirs at a social even designed to celebrate love and commitment. But most people do not see the love of their life in this manner.

If you think you'll enjoy it with the baby at 10 weeks old, I'd go. You might see lots of old school friends and it could be a good night. If your DH is up to it, maybe he could drive you there and back, hang out nearby and give you some support/take the baby for a while if you want him to, etc. Might be hard with 3 other DC if you don't have a babysitter, though.

But I wouldn't go just to support the bride if you don't think you'll enjoy it. Only inviting one half of a couple has its place, but it's not an invite intended to make your day particularly great so I don't think you have to put in as much effort to show your support as would be natural if they'd invited you with your DH.

Why? can women not be invited to events without the need of a chaperone?

I'd go if I wanted to and not if I didn't. It wouldn't have been difficult with a 10 week old in my case but all babies are different. So if the seeking difficulty outweighs the desire to go don't go. And vice versa.

There's nothing else you need to take into consideration.

I'd just go to the whole thing, unless it's very far away? 10 weeks is a good time ime, they'll be happy in a sling and you'll be feeling more yourself. But I am also happy going to things without DH! I wouldn't waste time on being offended about the invite, obviously they want people there who are actually friends.

Option 3.
If she was truly being "nice", she'd make the exception to her self-imposed rule of only half a couple being invited, and include your DH.

I had my 10 week old baby at my sisters wedding and even though DH was there the wedding was ruined for me by a cluster feeding moaning baby! I spent nearly all the wedding by myself as it wasn't fair to the bride to inflict the crying baby on her.
I wouldn't go.
Your baby might be great and sleep the whole time but you will still be the one doing everything by yourself.

If getting there isn’t too much of a faff, I’d just go and stay for as long as felt doable - which might be longer than you think. Does depend on how your baby is generally. I had screamy vomity ones which would have been challenging, but my DGD would have been no trouble.

Is she the sort of person who'd be understanding if you accepted for the whole thing but had to duck out at the last minute? (Birth complications, baby not settling easily etc). If yes and you actually want to I'd go for the whole thing. If not and she's the sort of person who'd sulk/send you an invoice for the missed meal then I'd decline.

Stay home, send a card. Job done.