I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable in this situation and looking for advice.
I used to have a group of 3 friends, lets say Jane, Susan and myself. We’d been friends for 5 years and done lots of things together – hikes, rowing trips, dinners, weekends away. 3 years ago, Susan was going through a divorce and having a hard time. She got emotional whenever either of the two of us were going on date nights with our husbands and lashed out a fair few times. Jane took it harder than myself and was less sympathetic towards Susan. Ultimately we sort of grew apart and fell out, which made Jane and I both sad. However, last year, Susan and I reconnected gradually over our kids doing the same after-school activity. I gradually started to understand where she had been coming from on some occasions and realized that she’d been having a really hard time following her divorce and that it had been hard for her to see us in our happy marriages. We’ve pretty much reconciled and now do a weekly sporting activity together.
Where the ‘Aibu’ comes in . Jane and Susan have not reconciled and Jane is feeling jealous and resentful that I’m friends with Susan again while she isn’t. She send me a message this morning saying that she’s hurt that Susan and I went to dinner last week. I don’t know what to do – Susan isn’t interested in reconciling with Jane as she feels Jane was less sympathetic towards her at the time when she was suffering, Jane also still feels hurt by various things Susan said. I just want to stay out of it… as far as I’m concerned, I’m friends with Jane, and I’m glad I’m friends with Susan again.
AIBU to continue to be friends with both?
You are being unreasonable = you should take Jane’s feelings into consideration
You are not being unreasonable = you’re all adults and you’re entitled to be friends with whomever you want to.