Thought on this? DS school situation..

Blood hell, this is the sort of crap that school staff have to deal with all the time! Stupid emails from parents who don’t think their precious little Jonny should have any consequences to their actions.
He’s 9, not 5. Of course he knows he should have put his hand up and said he hadn’t had time to write the questions down!
It was 5 minutes ffs.
This is why myself and countless others have had enough of the state of education and have left/are leaving.

Kindly, neither of them WOULD mention that. Have you asked?

Yeah chances are he was messing about, perhaps as well as struggling, and he didn’t tell you (why would he?). Teachers know how kids behave in class much better than parents.

Have you taken him to the gp and asked for assessment? If you genuinely believe he had ADHD you need to. DS is on the other and I have to fight for his adjustments, the fact he is on the NHS pathway supports my requests, if it's affecting him at school why haven't you pursued it?

And we wonder why teachers are leaving in droves! 😭

Hmm, yet another reason I’m happy to have moved my autistic son to Ireland for his schooling.

The teachers at his primary school were incredibly supportive and wouldn’t dream of punishing a child for not getting class work completed in time. I could imagine a similar sanction for deliberately acting up but not for being too slow. That would definitely be investigated and in fact, it was the class teacher who noticed my son was having difficulties with his hand writing and co-ordination.

It’s like the teachers in the England are going back to the 70’s when I was at school and punishing kids for having dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism etc. At least in those days, they didn’t have any understanding about these conditions so just assumed the child was a bit thick. You’d have hoped they’d have moved on from that simplistic and incorrect diagnosis by now?

Get him assessed for adhd, then you won’t have this I think he is/she thinks he isn’t. The 5 mins off a break is so minor, it won’t have done your DS any harm and might even help him to speak up next time. The teacher’s reply was fine. Your DH saying it’s fobbing off is way ott. Save the righteous indignation for when it’s warranted, tell DS to communicate better and get him assessed.

If you think he has ADHD talk to the senco. Teachers see a heck of a lot of kids with adhd and asd so I’d be reluctant to dismiss her viewpoint. Why didn’t it come up in previous years as a problem?

You do realise it’s possible to be mischievous and disorganised without having a neurodiversity?!

Id have been asking dc why he was “struggling” before I approached the teacher. Was he messing about? Couldn’t he see the board? didn’t he understand the task and how long he had -why didn’t he ask the teacher if he was stuck?
How come everyone else got the work done and he didn’t?

If he’s constantly low-level disruptive and no SEN agreed upon, it’s completely fair for the teacher to ask him to buckle down and get the work done.

I think the teacher’s response is fine and she said she’d pick it up with him today. What more do you want? It was 5 minutes and it might be a good incentive for your son to advocate for himself in the future if he misses something or is struggling.

If you think he has ADHD you need to get him diagnosed and consider treatment/ strategies but it won’t be a magic bullet- he will still need to ask for help. In the meantime active teaching with sensible consequences is a good thing.

As it's just 5 minutes I think this should be treated like a learning experience for your child.

Leave. It.

Total non situation. The teacher might take a bit more notice to check he’s on track in the future.

He didn't finish his work. He was kept in to finish it. This isn't a 'situation', it's normal.

If he hasn't copied the questions down, he can put his hand up and say so.

I agree. Children shouldn't be punished for struggling, as opposed to bad behaviour, and teachers should show some interest in why children are struggling, especially if it is unusual for the child in question. And if a child is persistently not finishing/struggling with work, I'd expect the teacher to be aware of this and a supportive approach taken.

There will be lots of 9yos who aren't good at speaking up for themselves. They shouldn't be punished for that either.

The teacher clearly felt he had been ‘pissing about’ since he didn’t tell her he was struggling.
Its a reasonable assumption. He’s 9, not a toddler.

Some children can really struggle to copy something from a board.
The questions could have been left up to allow for different abilities/ pace of work.
Another adjustment would be for dates and titles or questions to be prepopulated in his book. I’m sure he’s not the only one that would benefit from this strategy.
Missing break time can be counter productive as the movement break will aid concentration.
I’d monitor the situation and maybe speak to the SENCO about an observation and strategies if there is a possibility he may be ND.

Dont embarrass yourself by trying to take this further

Hopefully it will be a good lesson for him to get a move on in future. Sometimes kids don’t have ADHD. Sometimes they’re just 9. I’m 57 and left my handbag in the back of a taxi last night (wasn’t drinking). I don’t have ADHD. I just forget things now and again.

I mean, you believe he has ADHD - so he doesn't have a diagnosis? Is he on the pathway?

It sounds like you think she should be trying to accommodate a condition which he hasn't actually been diagnosed as having...that feels very unfair on her

In an ideal world he would have told the teacher or one of the other adults in the room that he didn’t have the questions written down.

they would then have told him what they were and possibly written them down for him.

presumably as he hadn’t written them down he then wasn’t actually writing his answers during the time that he was supposed to be which is presumably why he didn’t get it done.

I’d suggest maybe asking the teacher to check in with him more frequently as it does sound like he is having trouble using his voice to say that he needs help.

As a teacher, I’m very anti-anyone losing break so think the teacher was unreasonable in that regard.

However, by year 4 a teacher shouldn’t be having to have a cosy chat about “why” he hadn’t finished. He should have been able to tell her if there was a problem.

Is he "forgetting" his homework because he finds it difficult? It's very common to avoid things we find difficult no matter what age we are.

I wouldn't be happy that no adult in the class saw him struggling and he was punished for this. Teaching is about knowing your students and observing as much as anything else. Few children find it easy to admit they're having a problem, it is up to teachers to check and help. It's not your sons responsibility.

As for the email. It's very dry and it doesn't sound like the teacher cares to be honest. To it'll be checked up on today or tomorrow simply isn't good enough. It takes zero cognisance of the fact that he may be stressed over the situation. Also for the teacher to blame the child would have me fizzing!

Stand up for your child. Hopefully he'll have a better teacher next year as this one sounds like they couldn't care less.