Thought on this? DS school situation..

I’m really shocked so many people support the teacher here. Whether he has ADHD or whether he’s just struggling with the work is irrelevant tbh. She’s punished him for not being as smart as the rest of the class (in this task). It’s totally unacceptable.

If he’d been messing about and that was the reason for the punishment, she would have said in the email. And “I’ll talk to him today…” really sounds like she’ll be telling him off for speaking to you about it.

If teachers are “leaving the profession in droves” because they’re unable to notice and support struggling pupils, then they are bad at their jobs and good riddance frankly.

Was he struggling or faffing about chatting, sharpening his pencils, looking out the window before getting on with his work?

if they got it wrong he would rub the board rubber over your face. If you got another wrong you had to stand in the bin in the corner. He’d throw a drawing pin at anyone who talked.

This did make me laugh!

I’m not sure that this is what I’d advocate but surely there is a happy medium between this and parents being up in arms because their little darling (who most likely has form for twatting about) has missed 5 MINUTES of break time, and the parent feels “fobbed off”, I assume because the school hasn’t started a full scale investigation/ referred themselves to Ofsted/ sacked the teacher without notice…

Honestly, parents who are like this do their kids no favours at all. Plus the kid has probably learnt a lesson and moved on whilst the parent is still up in arms.

Then it's helpful that the break time allows for a bit of catching up time, isn't it?

What other ADHD symptoms does he have?

Then it needs some discussion which is exactly what the teacher has offered.

Get a grip, that was a great response. Fobbed off! It was 5 minutes, followed by an appropriate teacher communication. I can only imagine that this is the start of you being an absolute nightmare.

This post is EXACTLY why I would never return to teaching. The ridiculousness of it!

And doing absolutely no favours to the child at all.

I think in the nicest way possible this isn't a big deal.
If your sons teacher doesn't think he has ADHD then it may be that he does not. Or it could be that he does , but I don't think this is so relevant.

If at all possible it would be best for you to concentrate your efforts on working with your child's teacher and your child as a team. That will instil confidence and an ability to listen and negotiate in different situations for your son.
I completely appreciate a need to be child focused , thats fair. But I do feel for teachers. Too much of their time and energy is now channelled into dealing with parents and that is just not constructive.

You weren't there, teacher was. Let it go, stop being a PITA and stop trying to tell the teacher how to do their job. Teacher has better things to do than deal with your moaning about 5 mins of break time FFS.

Surely the simple thing would be for teacher to check everyone had got the questions written down before she cleaned the board.

Can you perform ALL tasks at the same speed as everyone else? If I asked you to do what I do, build a wall, and as a trainee, you didn’t build it at the speed I think you should, shall I just take away your break bit by bit until you complete it? Serve you right for ‘messing about or procrastinating’.

Shocker - but not every single child you’ll ever come across will work at the same speed.

Not sure… I’m 59 and remember someone getting the slipper behind the piano in assembly at primary, my history teacher at secondary would point to someone to reply to his question who hadn’t had their hand up - if they got it wrong he would rub the board rubber over your face. If you got another wrong you had to stand in the bin in the corner. He’d throw a drawing pin at anyone who talked.

I'd leave it at this with the teacher. You've made your point. Sit down with your son at the weekend, ask your son what specific things he is struggling with, and help him get up to speed with the curriculum.

It would piss me off too but it isn’t something worth complaining about as a one off. Why on earth some posters have to be so rude though I don’t know.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with the teachers reply. I understand that people think (know) that missing 5mins of break isn’t an effective punishment but I can’t bring myself to care very much unless it was incessant. I’m appalling at any “copy from the board” activities. I’m a huge procrastinator and dyslexic, which makes me slow. When you have a learning difficultly like mine you have to look back and check much more frequently so it makes you slow, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t simultaneously dicking about, procrastinating, not concentrating etc and all of those are things that can be worked on.
What was he doing when everyone else was copying from the board? Why didn’t he stick his hand up and say he wasn’t finished? Why did it take so long to copy from his neighbour?
If he finished the work at the same time as everyone else then it suggests that he wasn’t actually that slow once he got going. Maybe he failed to start? Does he have any of these processing/procrastinating traits at home? Is he tired? Is his routine supporting his learning (some adhd traits may be circadian rhythm issues - supported by shifting the day earlier and using light therapy - helps me hugely when I do it but I’m a dick so I slip back into late nights and procrastination). I don’t really know what more you want the teacher to do.

?? She emailed you exactly what you wanted to know. Are you ok

If you kick up a fuss about your child missing five minutes of his break because he didn’t complete his work, then will that really be the best thing for him? Wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge that this is a tiny, insignificant event, and nothing to get upset about? I do worry that many kids today are being taught that even the slightest situation that they don’t like should be challenged, and treated with such seriousness. Why did this require any intervention from you? Why not just shrug and say, “Well, next time, tell the teacher”? This is such a non-event. If your son is taught that a situation as insignificant as this should result in emails and questioning of conduct, how will he ever cope with the minor inconveniences of daily life?

If a NT child in my class doesn't finish their work on time, they will shock horror finish it before they go to break. Literally an extra 5 minutes and it's complete - out they go. It rarely happens, but it does otherwise it simply wouldn't get finished with the amount of stuff we need to fit in.

It reminds children to focus on their work and ask if they need help rather than messing around or procrastinating.

Can I change career yet? 🫠

OP - assumed ADHD isn't a diagnosis. Kids can be very forgetful.

I think that's pretty normal and not particularly suggestive of ADHD?

She's got thirty kids in the class! At 9 years old he should be able to raise his hand and say 'sorry I hadn't finished copying the questions".

I'm willing to bet the questions were on the board plenty long enough and there's an issue with him not knuckling down and focussing on the task/wasting a lot of time

Was he punished, or did he miss some break because he was finishing the work?
Either way, he shouldn't be coming whingeing to you over every little thing that happens at school, and you certainly shouldn't be contacting the teacher over every little thing. It sounds as though she's doing a decent job, and there are presumably 30 other children to deal with.

Poor teachers.

Imagine if every parent emailed about interactions like this, then continued the dialogue when they weren't happy with the (perfectly reasonable) response.

Just let the situation play out OP. Your DS learned a valuable lesson yesterday - to speak up if he hasn't finished his work. Hopefully he didn't learn the lesson of make a formal complaint if you don't like something.

If you believe he has ADHD, get him assessed and get a proper diagnosis so the school can put proper support in place.

@DaisyChain505 Have you been through that process? Just wondered if you knew how difficult that is. Ten years waiting list in some areas. DD2 wasn't attending school and I couldn't even get her on the NHS list to be assessed.

School is so harsh these days, I don't remember anyone missing break with DDS at primary school in the 2010s or me 40+ years ago, unless they had been messing about or naughty, not because they hadn't written fast enough or found it difficult. What will they bring back to be even less inclusive next, sitting in the corner with a dunce's hat on? It sounds like he had found a reasonable solution in asking a friend for help. Sometimes it is intimidating to ask a teacher for help. Some even react angrily or explain it so badly that you are left more confused.

No wonder many decent teachers have left if this is the way they are supposed to teach.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing but I would note whether he is finding writing difficult/slow going at home and ask for extra support at school. You probably won't get it, as all kids are expected to be academic and go to university and are told they are a failure if they aren't, and there is fuck all help, but you can ask.