Ex MIL keeps asking me for money

I would say 'I'm sorry X won't be staying with you as I can't afford to give you £10 out of the £30 pw that his Dad gives me for CM. If you want to see X, then arrange this with your son, on his time'. If she protests say that '£30 pw doesn't even scratch the surface of the cost of bringing up a child, and as your brought up X, then this is something you know very well'. Then disengage.

She's a cheeky mare.

Personally, I’d be tempted to send DC with his bus fare next time then at least she can’t moan about having to pay to take him into town. Perhaps give him a couple of pounds too but fuck the tenner every time….she should cherish the time spent with her GC, not benefit from it.

If he is staying with Grandma instead of his Dad then your ex has already had a deduction for his contact time anyway.

If she is seeing him on effectively “your time” then she is still ridiculously out of order. I would remind her that the £30 is the legal MINIMUM your ex has to pay and is nothing compared to the £x it costs you to provide for DS needs. If she can’t afford to have DS at her request then she needs to ask her son.

Ask how they calculated £10pn and reverse the conversation, so you agree x should be paying £10 per night.

Don’t rush into a wedding, this will only get worse with ex /Mil

So child maintenance is calculated to how many nights you have DC to how many nights your ex does. So if your ex has him 2 nights per week say and you have him 5 that £30 is to cover those 5 nights/days. If exMIL is having DC on exs night that does not come from your £30 as its not on your day its on exs therefore his responsibility to cover costs.

If exMIL expects you to cover cost then that night then becomes a day you are responsible for then your ex is only having him 1 day a week and your maintenance would therefore go up to allow for you now having him 6 days per week.

So tell ex if MIL has DC on his timetable he is responsible for all costs during that time.

Hope this helps 😊

Exactly! This needs pointing out to the Grandmother if she’s so keen to use the CMS payment as justification for her asking for money.

Wtf ? So a single parent is somehow ‘neglecting’ their child because they are getting married. ? The misogyny from women to women on this site beggars belief sometimes

Just say no when she asks to see him from now on. She can see him on your ex’s time.

Tell her to piss off. You don't owe her anything.

YANBU. She seems to think children are a woman’s responsibility so is making you pay for her having then dc.

Don’t even give money for an activity, tell her to ask her son.

She can see her grandson on her son’s time, not yours.

What a bizarre response to the OP.

And why if she think £10 for having her grandson is a reasonable request is she ok with her son only paying £30 a week for his son. She clearly thinks it costs a lot to look after him so she should be analogy be encouraging her son to pay a lot more than he is.

Tell her that if she wants to spend time with her grandson then that is great but she can’t spend your money whilst doing it. She either pays with her own money or if she can’t afford that/doesnt want to spend her money on her grandson then she does free stuff with him.

I think she is a mean cow wanting a third of your child maintenance back off you. Tell your ex that he needs to pay you back for that and give her money what a witch . It's her bloody grandchild ffs

I wouldn’t have sent it the first time.

Tell her if she can’t afford to have him stop then he shouldn’t stop. Or she can ask her son for the money. Tell her the £30 you get has already gone.

Why would getting married impact on a totally different issue with OP's ex and his mother?

She is (and so is HE!) a CF.
Tell them when it’s his time, it’s his money. His time with the kids is taken into account when calculating child support payable to you.

Stop sending her any money at all. She needs to pay for the activities herself.

This is insane. There’s actually no reason for you to have any contact with your ex MIL at all; she can arrange with her son to see child during his contact time and the arrangements for that are between them. If I were you I would make that clear to ex MIL and ex DH, and hold that boundary in future. With the exception of major life events for your child where grandparents may attend, you don’t actually have to speak to her ever again.

Just ignore her texts. Then if she wants to cause a fuss she will have to cause it with her son.

Just block her calls. You don't need to talk to her. Let her deal with her son. IF any of this is coming from him (e.g. seeing it as a sneaky way of getting back some CM) he'll mention it to you and you can rip him a new one. If not, problem solved.

This !!!

I was about to suggest that . Maybe minus about 50p- 70p for his clothes , shoes etc that can be put down as ongoing costs !

Your ex husband is responsible for the expenses of his child where the child is with him. They are taking the piss, both your ex and his mother.