Ex MIL keeps asking me for money

With your subsequent messages on the coats this is starting to look like a concerted campaign to make your life difficult / expensive and ensure you have no benefit from CMS. I revise my advice. If he comes back without a coat or other costly item again I suggest you are straight into texting telling him to bring it over right now. Reminder text every day for a week then a letter before action telling him to bring it back or pay the cost of a replacement then strwight to the small claims court two weeks later if not returned. Nip this rubbish in the bud. I think it is time for no more contact for you with grandma either. Delete her number. If she wants to see your son she can contact his father. Any benefit it brings you isn’t worth it.

Bet she thinks you're a meanie for taking maintenance off him when you earn more, and this is her way of trying to even it out.

This is odd. My parents and in laws happily do things with my child and don't ask me for any money. I wouldn't have given her money the first time she asked.

"Hi Vera, thanks for the message asking to see DS. ExH has him this weekend and I'm sure he would love to see you then so please do liaise with ExH. Just to let you know that I am unable to fund any of your visits/stays even if for some reason these were taking place during my time with DS (which should obviously only be in exceptional cases). I'm not sure whether ExH provides cash when you see DS but it is not something I am willing or able to do. I hope you are well in general. ellie09"

Weird is this true. If she's hard up there's lots of free things she could do with him, just enjoying having him round the house for one. Walks, Parks,.

Can't believe anyone would want money when seeing their grandchild.

Don't give her anymore money! If she needs money she can ask her son but I bet she won't do that

She’s probably giving it straight to him.

Never pay it again. Totally ignore the request or if you feel you can’t, say you don’t have it and if it’s a requirement for next time then she’s to let you know before he stays so that you can take him home instead of him staying.

Honestly I think she’s giving it to him. You don’t owe her a penny.

Stop facilitating her seeing him in your time, seeing her should come out of ex's time and he (or GM) should be sucking up any costs in that time...cheeky fuckers

I’d think ex isn’t letting on how little he’s tipping up in CMS. He should be appalled at only paying £30 a week and you paying everything else.
It’s a shame you’ve started but I’d just be frank that you are happy for ds to go if she wants to see him but you haven’t got spare cash to send him with, only £30 a week CMS is making things really hard.

Either your exMIL doesn't know how little CM you're getting, or she's stuck in 1977, when there were three TV channels, Star Wars was something new and £30 was a lot of money. Or, as other posters have suggested, she's a brazen CF. A browse of children's shoes in Clinkard's front window is enough to make child-free me hyperventilate in shock and they've never been a cheap item - I have distinct memories of being taken to buy new Mary Janes and my mother trying to hide her anxiety about the price. So I don't know what version of reality your MiL is living in, but I agree with posters who suggest that she should take the issue of expenses up with her son, not you.

I voted YABU because in the words of your DP you are pandering to her "absolute nonsense".

As for buying your child another coat when he's got two already - YABU for that too. It's May, he can cope without a coat until you get the other two back. And if either of them refuse to give them back - charge them for them.

I'd have as little contact with this conwoman ex-MIL as possible. If she wants to be paid for spending time with her grandchild, her feckless son can pay her.

this!

Ha ha what a flipping cheeky cow

‘Normal grandparents don’t ask to be paid to spend time with their own grandchild. Either get ExH to pay your fee or don’t see GS. I won’t be paying you.’

He sees EXDH's mother in his contact time. If it's his contact time, it's up to him to pay whatever she feels she needs. You do not need to have any contact with her at all. Not having to contact the in-laws is one of the best parts of divorce!

It's shite grandma behaviour, isn't it?

My grandma was my step-grandma (and the only one I had, as both the biological ones died before I was born), but she had my brother and me every Sunday for several hours and dinner (she was a great cook), Boxing day, bought us all the usual presents at Xmas, etc AND bought us comics and sweets every week! I'm fairly certain that the vast majority of grannies aren't asking to have their GC and then demanding funding, especially from hard-pressed single parents.

Its her grandson!! Is she that tight she cannot even pay the bus fare?!?!

You need to tell her no. Her sons pay £30 a week. It's £4.28 a day. That doesnt even cover your sons lunch let alone all the other costs. If she needs money to look after her grandson she can ask her son. She isn't doing you a favour or looking after him in your contact time. You exs time and the costs incurred in that time are his to bare.

Honestly, I've never heard of a grandparent asking for money to feed their grandchildren before.

This is utter madness. Are you joking? If so it doesn’t come across as funny. Just loopy. Really really loopy.

Just say, sorry. I can’t afford it I only get £30 CMS.

Watch out she doesn't ‘lose’ sell the old coat once she realises you have bought him a new one!

“I will put a stop to providing money and just tell her from now on that if she requests to see him, she will need to contact her son for anything that she may need.”

Will that include the request to see him itself? Because it needs to. Any communication about your son is between you and the father only, the rest is irrelevant. You shouldn’t need to be involved in dropping him off there either. Otherwise you will get sucked into more discussion over something you don’t need to discuss. One of the benefits of your split is she is now your EX MIL!

So they bith have one of his coats. So now next time he goes t the,, do not send the coat you just bought.

I agree ask her if she is aware how much you get CM - if she still asks for £10 tell her it’s not happening