To report colleague who offered to buy my underwear

Thus^

Why call someone a weasel for pointing out that this is unacceptable? It is.

This is the exact reason i said dont report him. I love your post but my guess is you will have some desperado male mumsnet members sitting this evening wondering whether to ping you a quick message in case you were being serious.

Just like the op's college. Dont engage in this type of talk if you a offended by someone thinking you are serious.

Wow. That's appalling.

So you're going to leave out the entire context, and if he uses the context to explain his message, you are going to lie and your senior colleagues are going to lie to cover you? And you think that the young colleague's behaviour is despicable?

If he gets sacked, he's well out of the place

PS as I'm now feeling snippy, it's corroborate, not collaborate. And you're the one twisting the story, not him.

The idea that you deserve respect because you're senior is years out of date. Respect should be based on behaviour. One of the most senior people I ever worked with gained mine by coming back to our City HQ at 6pm to wish the corporate floor receptionist a happy birthday. He had been working since 6.30am doing the media round for the quarterly results and briefing analysts, but he made time for a woman on the threshold of retirement who had never become anywhere near senior.

Typo

Yeah, it's despicable behaviour.

I agree with this

I didn’t say you would be representing me (!)

Who knows? It's possible. Because she will look like an idiot given the circumstances.
If the message was out of the blue, no.

I appreciate that anybody can post here, that this is not my website, I wouldn't know anyway etc, however, it's the whole 'I'm male' announcement on a largely female website.

It's like, out of the way little ladies, I'm here to put you right on this topic

Yet I bet when asked they'd all claim to be feminists. Lol.

Maybe he wants the female OP to make a fool of herself.

What's you being a male got to do with it? Does the fact that you're male mean that you have special knowledge on this that I'm guessing the largely female responders here don't?

I think you are responding to me. And I wouldn’t be representing you, I’d be investigating your complaint.

Who is the royal ‘we’? No one said you offered.

I’m responding to a post addressed to me.

We're not offering.

This isn't about you anyway it's about the OP.

The fact remains, whether you like it or not, that unless the OP is absolutely truthful about what has happened she runs the risk of disciplinary action herself.

Don't throw out the undies, though-they can be sold on onlyfans.
According to OP, anyway.

I couldn't possibly comment.

Anyway, should anyone here wish to purchase some baggy, greying M&S knickers that are several sizes too big (for comfort) worn by a sweaty menopausal woman, you know where the PM button is.

Or Primark, if you want to be a bit downmarket.

Easy money!!

Joking. Obviously. Then again...

Yep, agreed, I wouldn’t want any of the lawyers here to represent me either.

🤣🤣🤣

This is UK law though is it not? You will need a remedial course in Judge John Deed.

I could represent the OP in court if it gets that far. I used to watch "LA Law" every week so I have a fairly strong grasp of the legal system. If the opposition lawyer wants to cross-examine the defendant's undies I will say "objection, your honour" and the case will be thrown out.

She is absolutely free to report him for the message however if HR do their job properly and the whole story comes out she's not going to come out of it with her reputation intact either.
Older senior female staff member gets drunk with and talks about what she'd do on Onlyfans to an impressionable younger junior male staff member is equally reprehensible behaviour and if this does go to HR and he has the sense to get a decent TU rep or other advisor it could go very badly indeed for her.

I think what we’re seeing here is the “Fallacy Fallacy” effect.

I would not want any of the ‘subject matter experts’ on this thread to represent me as as my lawyer or HR advisor.

This whole posts smacks of someone who likes to think that they're a professional but actually isn't.

A professional would either take it on the chin given what led up to it or not be so dumb to talk about shite like onlyfans tto colleagues in the first place.
They'd have a few drinks to be polite then go off home.

There's quite a few posts of what I perceive to be the male version of the 'pick me' mindset on this thread, too but that's by the by.

I think we are seeing an example of the Dunning Kruger effect here

If this message came out of the blue then of course it should be reported but it did NOT. It was a follow on from a conversation you entered into freely which you seemed to enjoy at the time.

Instead reporting, why don't you decide that you're not going to get drunk with your colleagues and talk shite with them instead?

Absolutely agree. But she shouldn't lie about her never having had the conversation in the pub, which she said up the thread was her intention.

Yes HR should get his side.

None of that should discourage OP from reporting him.