To report colleague who offered to buy my underwear

I doubt my own statement now that I'd report. I thought you'd sell "clothes" but a detail was left out that you'd sell underwear. While still creepy and weird, I'd probably let him know not to message again or you'll report.

I'd report. Why would you have to feel weird/awkward around this dude now at work or work nights out because he can't stop himself or his mate from harassing a colleague.

So YOU said you might sell your underwear and now he’s taken it too far (like you did) so he is in trouble? I would report you to HR first tbh….. or maybe don’t be so silly to talk about stuff like this next time.

Having read your last message on how you would frame it, I think that is unfair given the context. This is not out of the blue, it was a conversation you had and he was carrying that on and pushing his luck. He then did send another message apologising, I would prob reply saying it was inappropriate and set your stall, if it were to continue I would then take it further.

This.
Evenings out with colleagues are not the time/place to be having drunken conversations about sexual topics of any kind. The more experienced colleagues really should set an example of how to socialise and remain professional, or how will younger staff know what is appropriate?

Really, is one stupid text followed by an apology harassment now? Harassment means when somebody repeatedly behaves in a way that makes you feel distressed or threatened.

@Colleagueissue26 as someone who got sexually harassed by a man who I assume started like this report him. Don’t let them think they can get away with it. Be a Karen, be a bitch. Whatever. They all start with an inappropriate comment at 20.. you’re not ruining his life.

There would be an investigation. It would all come out and there'd be no winners here. Do you really want to discuss with HR that you discussed only fans with colleagues???

But that conversation provides context for his message and if you reported it to HR they would investigate and find out about the only fans conversation.

OP, I see you are now going to lie to HR and ruin a young man's career.

There is a place in hell for people like you.

This!
id say if you don’t tell HR then I will
put the ball in his court
sleazebag

so it makes a difference how polite he is

great as long as men remain polite and are apologetic they can harass and be inappropriate

got it

Let it go.

OP, this is nothing. You are not traumatised, just vengeful. You did not come with clean hands and it will come out if HR investigates. I hope you don't get embarassed but that is the least of it.

Are you taking the piss? I can’t help but think you haven’t thought this through. You want to lie to your employer and pretend you didn’t joke about selling your underwear? Are you thinking you’ll show them that text, tell them it came completely out of the blue with no previous discussions and that will be that? He says very clearly ‘If you were being serious…’. That’s not an out of the blue text. There was very clearly a conversation that led up to that, and you’d have to be a little bit thick to think otherwise, or to think anyone with two brain cells to rub together would believe you, or wouldn’t question it.

Apart from that, don’t you think that when they’re suspending him and warning him to expect his P45, he might mention exactly whatever it was you said that inspired him to offer to buy your used underwear? You don’t think he would mention the names of your other colleagues who were there? Do you think your other colleagues would be equally as willing to lie to their employer and pretend you didn’t joke about it, just to back you up? Do you think they’d be willing to lie to an employment tribunal if it got that far?

He absolutely shouldn’t have text you. There’s no question about that. Put the fear of God into him by all means. But you fucked up massively by having a discussion with an 22 year old and opening that door. How do you think reporting him and lying (either by omission or by telling your employers that the text came from nowhere) will work out for you?

Really? Generally considered by whom, you on this thread at 21:35 hrs on Tuesday 5th of May 2026? Stop making stuff up, ffs....😆

This is victim blaming though. He sent the text a week later, not on the night out. So drunkenness is not an excuse.

Oh well, as long as he asked for his female colleague’s knickers politely.

I’d report it to HR. They may just warn him. Let them do their job. It may help someone else should he be a sex pest.

If he had pestered OP about selling him her used knickers despite being told to knock it off, then I would definitely report him to HR is justified. He asked once, fairly politely, was told no, and apologised. Was he wrong to ask? Yes. But completely out order, does he deserve to lose his job and be branded a pervert for the rest of his life? I would say not.

Why

Its inappropriate it was not in the group chat at the time

It was a work night out, which is generally considered an extension of the workplace environment.

It sounds like you haven't been in the workforce for very long if you haven't heard of at least one case of a man getting into trouble with HR for making unwanted advances on a coworker during a work night out.

This
Let it go

I agree with this. Actions have consequences. He’s not blameless, but his query wasn’t apropos of nothing was it.

Was it a work phone?
Was it in work hours?

HR cannot do shit about this.

It's the word "kept" that makes that different from this situation.