I have an 11 year old, heading to secondary school. A thoroughly, thoroughly lovely human being.
This is going to be long.
I had been with her dad for three years and he was the one who initiated talk of marriage and we got married when I accidentally became pregnant but within weeks he said I had trapped him. He was staying out and acting like a teenager and I suspect was taking Coke.
He walked out when baby was five months old, claiming his father had forced him into a profession he hated and how I had trapped him and everyone wanted him to be something he wasn’t.
My family and I tried to get his family to tell us where he was but they denied knowing but his mother later admitted that she had known.
Every time I attempted a relationship with them for my child’s sake she and her daughter would sob and FiL accused me of deliberately upsetting her.
My 26 year old cousin was abroad before Easter and saw him. I dismissed this initially but my aunt has seen a photo now and my mother says it’s him. The circumstances in which my cousin met him also makes sense. My cousin said nothing to ex about the connection.
I want to go over, make an appointment with a different name and confront him. Tell him how his child has suffered in spite of everything J have done.