The house ticks every box. So why do I feel flat?

I absolutely hated this house when we moved here, but it was the logical action at the time. My head ruled my heart and I’m so glad I let it. It had the bare bones of size, garden, location, parking and a good financial deal but was dirty and dark, on a road. I made it mine over time. So I would say go for it, even though it may take your heart a while to catch up with your head.

Could you cycle instead of walk? A 35 minute walk is only a 10-15 minute cycle.

If the mortgage offer expires, will you still be able to afford to buy a different house a higher rate?

I wasn't sure about my house initially but as you'll make it yours it becomes different.

How far in are you? It sounds great for what you need now as opposed to what makes your heart sing-closer to schools and walkable to town so the dc can have more play dates etc.

When I moved in here, I just couldn’t get over not being in love with the house for months, maybe because the previous house was a great escape from appalling neighbours. However, it grew on me and 20 odd years later, I’m dreading moving.

I hear you but the way the OP is talking she has too many doubts.

Of course your budget is your budget you can't go on and on but from how she is talking I am not sure she will be happy there.

I think it will be better to wait.

If I’d waited for a house to grab my heart we’d still be living in a 2 bed flat over the shops with no parking and two giant teens. I’m sure we’d have survived - people do with far less - but nothing better than the practical house we bought came up in years and years (I did keep those rightmove emails coming through).

All the houses that grabbed my heart like that were £200k more than we could afford. Or in the totally wrong area for schools, transport etc.

I'm sure you'll so appreciate the space and garden in the short term.
In the longer term you can make the house into the type of home you've always wanted.

Don't buy it. Buying a new house should fill you with excitement it sounds like this one is filling you with dread.

It's too expensive to get it wrong.

Wait until a house that grabs your heart comes along. Xx

Yes! I bought the safe family home and it all worked out for the best! When I met DH, I had a gorgeous 2 bed Victorian garden flat in a super trendy part of London. 5 years later with child and another on the way we had to move. We found a huge 1950's semi in a village outside London that ticked so many boxes but there wasn't a single thing that made my heart sing. It was " sensible " and made me feel very middle aged BUT......we did it and it was the best move ever. House is warm and spacious, kids have everything they need and we have wonderful friends and neighbours. Sometimes your dreams aren't quite as you visualised.

Just remember this....you spend more time inside looking out than you do on the outside looking in.
Make sure the room inside works for you.

Fair enough! However if they’re only 10mins drive from the existing flat to the new place how much closer it really is and whether other transport options are available if they are older?

House buying is often a compromise. Sometimes people are lucky and a fantastic house they love comes along at a brilliant price. In a perfect location.

Sometimes.

Often, people might not get the house of dreams, nor the location, nor the price, etc.

In other words it is a balancing act. You can only choose from the houses on sale at the time. Or that agree to be sold. For the price you want. And especially if you worry the price or affordability is going to run away and limit what you can get this pressures you further.

People often have a tick list. Which can be helpful. But don’t forget the heart.

There’s nothing better than a house that works for you. I bought the character property in 2024 and let me tell you character hides all manner of sins and badly done work.

So far we’ve had to: fix the roof (£5k), insulate the roof (£2k), fix 3 leaks (£750), eradicate a moth problem (£650). We’ve also found a manhole under our office floor that will cost £15k to make legal.

With all that money spent we haven’t been able to redecorate or change the disgusting bathrooms like we wanted to.

Get the lovely practical house with a garden, parking, good rooms and solid, easy foundations.

If the kids are in secondary and it’s closer to school, that’s a winner for me. I’ve spent weeks on end if I add it altogether driving my dd around.

How much of an increase are you looking at, OP? We are looking at moving and I’ve been battling the same concern x

It does sound like a good move. The one thing I would change making a similar sort of move again in the same circumstances as we did 18 years ago, is absolutely putting my foot down about borrowing a bit more money to get all the decorating and annoying jobs done asap as DH is a master procrastinator!

So it’s convenient on around 175 days of the year, but all your free time/weekends etc will be away from what you love?

It's rare that a house makes our heart sing. Give yourself a few years there and if still feel the same, move if can afford it? You may find the memories you create in there makes you enjoy your new home.

My partner has chosen a house in a completely new area that does little for me, in fact I dislike it a lot but there's not many houses on the market in this area. Not moved in yet because it's a do upper but the garden makes me smile loads, all the wildlife and space, am delighted so that was my pull. That'll do. We've a 5 year plan, if we hate it then, we move.

Is your perfect dream house likely to be in your budget? I would need another zero on my salary to get mine!

OP go for it. This was us 8 years ago. We were in a town centre 2bed terrace with a tiny yard out the back but I just loved it. We were central to everything and I have such happy memories of my maternity leave on DC2 when I bought a double buggy and walked everywhere and it was a lovely happy time in my life. Great parks and a playground etc close by however we had zero space and couldn’t have friends /family over for parties and I was even worried about play dates when DD started school as we had no space and we even just had no space for the DCs toys. We moved to a boring suburban 3 bed semi and now I just love it here. Similar to yourself the house had zero character or charm but potential to extend and do things to it. Now we have a playroom and a great back garden and space for two cars to park. We are also on great bus routes and there are lots of local amenities but really I’m a city centre person . We do think when the DC grow up we will downsize and buy a town centre house or apartment again but this works so well for us now. The DC can play on the street if they want and there is a lovely sense of community here as well.

We did the equivalent move and I’m so glad we did. I would have loved to feel more personally excited and in love with the house, but the reality was that we couldn’t afford all three of the space, the location and the period character. I wanted lovely high ceilings, spacious hallway and nice features. We have none of those things. Just because we couldn’t afford it doesn’t mean we don’t like and value those things as much as anyone else. But we had to be practical and we’ve got so much enjoyment and family happiness over being in the right place with enough space for everyone and able to put up family when they come to stay (with a bit of shuffling around.). Many people can’t do that, so I remind myself that we’re fortunate.

How long have you been house hunting
for?

Similar to my DB, they’re in a quieter location and lovely street compared to where they were before.

Well DB and his wife moved from a flat to a house this time last year. Yes the commute is slightly more difficult for SIL but schools and nursery and shops are walkable. Yes it’s not perfect but is a period property. The upside for the family is the garden and more space. Their eldest (7) is still a bit frightened about going upstairs by himself. They saw so many houses over almost 6 months to a year, and were beginning to lose hope and even with the mortgage and bills are happy in what’s probably their forever home.

Every time I’ve moved I’ve had a similar wobble. And in fact we are about to move from an Edwardian house with kerb appeal and character to an ugly from the outside 1950s house too. However I can see the potential, it has a bigger garden, quieter location and scope to make it nice. I have Pinterest boards galore with some mid century inspiration and know when our belongings are in I will be happy. We hope to do some work that enhances the appearance within a few years of living in it but as friends have said you’re inside it looking out more than staring at the front.

Everytime I’ve taken a step up mortgage wise I’ve been nervous but I believe it works out fine.

Hi OP,

Well, to tell you our story:

We've always (until now) bought a house with our hearts rather than our heads, but our current house was definitely an "it'll do for just now" move. We had to move within a certain timeframe and also within a certain distance of DH's work, whilst also being practical for me to get to my work in the opposite direction.

We'd put offers in for 4 other houses and didn't get them, so we were getting desperate. This house ticked most boxes but was modern with a small garden, which is kind of the opposite to what we'd been looking for. The plan was to stay for a couple of years then move again.

We've been here for 30 years this year ☺️