To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

Because she trusts that you’ll call her if there’s a problem? If I trust someone enough to have my children for 3 days then I don’t need to check in, I’ve decided they are with someone who cares for them as much as well as I do.

The not contacting you regularly I don’t find so weird. I used to travel with work 2 weeks in 8 when the kids were small and generally we found they did much better while I was gone if I didn’t talk to them on the phone. If I didn’t they kind of forgot I wasn’t there and were just caught up in what they were doing and if I did they got really upset about missing me.

If her kids are like that I can absolutely understand her not calling and talking to them but to not respond at all to your messages even to do something like a heart/thumbs up to let you know she’s seen one saying all is well I think is unusual.

Honestly if she also isn’t answering the phone I’d be a bit worried about her. Do you know where she is staying & if so could you maybe call and leave a message with your number at the hotel asking her to get in touch just so you know she is ok?

I agree it's a bit odd as you are a friend vs family. However I went away on a 2 week work trip and left DS (5) with my mum and DH and I facetimed my DS once. I didnt check in every day either as I was so busy with work and glad of the break. DS has ASD so video calls don't always go well so I leave them to it.

The kids have been asking to speak to their mum who isn't answering calls or reading messages. Unless something has happened to her, she is being rude and ungrateful to OP by ignoring her messages and calls and pretty mean to her children. I'm judging her.

Nah, I would be that mum. If I trust the person I’ve left the kids with (which you would otherwise you wouldn’t be leaving them!!) then what’s to check?
I’ve got 5 kids and they’ve spent plenty of time without me and they get by just fine without me checking in on them. OP your kid is 5. you may feel differently when they’re older.

Or something happened to her or someone stole her phone?

If she'd lost her phone or had it stolen, she could still probably find a way to reach you on another phone (her sister's, for example). And if something had happened to her, surely her sister would be contacting others. Most likely she's just a bit callous and enjoying her time away too much to spare the children a few minutes for a phone call in the evening. (Yes, I'm judging.) I'd find it irresponsible and rude that she hasn't at least responded briefly to your messages to confirm that all is well and to thank you for watching her children. No more big favours for her!

Actually..that's not what she has done. At your time of writing, it hasn't been 3 night..it's been 1.

How do you know she hasn't read the messages via her notifications?

I often read mine in notifications..I don't have to open my messages app..so they sit there, unopened & seemingly, unread.

If she’s not answering your calls either are you sure she’s OK?
I don’t think this would be a lost/stolen phone situation as she would find a way to contact you easily, if she wanted to, plus there would be a sense of urgency to let you know, so you and her kids don’t worry.
And surely if she has had an accident her sister would phone you immediately, knowing you have her kids.
I would lean to having a bender or an affair - very concerning. Can you reach the sister?

The whole "but the adult will contact if there's a problem" aspect of this reasoning is moot since the mother isn't reading OP's messages.

It clearly isn't her plan to go off and rely on OP to tell her if there is a problem because she isn't reading OP's messages so OP can't tell her if there is a problem.

If she hasn't even read your messages I'd be getting a bit concerned, tbh. Because I agree it's unusual for a parent to leave their kids with someone and not check in, but even more so for them to not respond to (or even read) texts and calls from the person who has them in her care.

She may just have dumped the responsibility for 3 days along with the kids and is having a bit of a rager or something - but if she was like that I'd expect you to have some clue. So if she seems like a normally decent parent, this would concern me.

Are you sure she's coming back?

I don't think that's anything to boast about.

I hear you but maybe she is totally burnt out and needs a full break. Hard to say without knowing her situation (e.g. where is the kids’ fatherj.

Sorry but I don’t think hounding your sister for updates is the right approach for many people.

The friend has left her kids with someone she trusts and who has agreed to look after them, that’s not irresponsible.

That would work, but the not contacting her children after a request from them?

Not on at all.

This is awful! Imagine not remembering where you left your 11-year-old for a week!

I’m here to find out what her excuse was when she returns. OP please keep us updated. How irresponsible!

I left my 10 and 4 year old with my sister at my own home for 2 nights. First time ever since becoming a mum. They are extreme close to me sister and didn’t even miss me, yet I was hounding my sister throughout my time away to get updates. Only went because my sister literally forced me to get a break with my husband alone in 10 years 😂😂.

Because she has entrusted you to take care of her kids and she therefore trusts you to contact her should anything happen. Same as parents not contacting the nursery whilst they have the kids.

But yes, the parents should respond to your texts.

I think it's good for the children to have some time away from their parents, getting involved in the life of another family, becoming a little bit independent, etc, without the parents constantly checking in on them. Maybe that's what these parents feel.

Rude as hell and totally unfair on her poor kids. I feel such guilt being away from mine (on the very rare occasion) and I could not imagine a quick call or FaceTime to just say good night. If going into the theatre I’d call before going in.

shes a cheeky fucker and possibly having a fling for a few days.

id give her an earful on her return.

Could she have lost her phone? It’s odd she’s not returned any of your calls or txts xx