To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

Won't be a popular opinion, but I think it's odd to leave young children with a friend for three days, period. Unless it's an emergency situation/hospital stay etc.

You’re doing this woman a massive favour and it is incredibly rude of her not to acknowledge your messages.

Then her kids … very bizarre behaviour. My kids are teenagers and I still check in with them daily when I’m away!

Either she’s not reading your messages and is totally unconcerned about how her kids are - or worse still, she’s reading them and can’t even be bothered to blow them a night night kiss. Awful.
I hope you won’t be doing this again…

They should check in, yes.

Though I admit I have been made to feel guilty more than once before now when DCs were on sleepovers and it got to about 10pm and I saw messages on my phone from two hours earlier saying things like "Just wondered if you wanted to chat to X before bed?" and then half an hour later "X wanted to let you know they had a nice evening and they love you." 😱

She is with a fella

I hope your friend's not in hospital or something. Or maybe it's a broken phone? And she doesn't have any other way to know your number?

Or a snatched phone. Lot of it about in London - especially among out-of-towners who don't know to be careful.

Is she definitely with her sister?

My suspicion would be she's off shagging someone she doesn't want to know that she has children...

On a maternal level, it’s odd. On a social etiquette level, it is outrageously rude to not so much as give you a cursory response considering you are looking after her children.

Unless she has form for being socially lacking, I would be slightly concerned at the radio silence.

I agree that's very odd and rude, I couldn't go a full day and not check in on my children. I'd definitely not look after them again. She sounds a shit mum.

I was left behind for a weekend by my dm when I was a child. She went out of the country. It felt very long and I missed her a lot. I would've rung my kids at those age to say goodnight. Now they are teens I just whatsapp them directly or speak to the younger one. How are the children are they missing her? Have they commented on her lack of contact? Bit mean of her really.

Looks like they're your kids now, OP...

Well I wouldnt have any child of mine with anyone I didnt trust so when they are are away what is there to check up on? I presume the people they are with dont need me checking they are doing a good job? so unless I speak to the child themselves if there was anything wroing I would expect to be contacted by the adult

I dont see how not cheking up means we dont care to me it means the opposite

Yes, I think there’s a good chance the messages are coming up on her Home Screen so she’s getting updates. I guess it is rude not to reply to messages though. Just to acknowledge the messages

I'm not the most maternal of mothers but I can't imagine doing that. Firstly because my children would want to be able to speak to me. Secondly because I would be overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for a friend willing to have my kids for THREE days and nights. That is so kind and generous of you. And she's ignoring your calls??? Rude fucker.

"Needs a break"? Don't we all dear. You can still call and say goodnight to your children!

Ok judgypants!

Rude as hell to drop your kids off for 3 days and not be contactable in case of an emergency. I wouldn’t look after her kids again.

when my nephew was 11 he stayed with us for a week. BIL called my husband to ask a favour and I insisted that DH put Nephew on the phone to say hi as he hadn’t spoken to his dad all week. BIL was a single dad and nephew had no contact with his mum.

BIL was surprised that he was here because he had forgotten who was looking after him and thought that he was staying with someone else. We lived 4 hours away and he just didn’t give a 💩. Never ever provided any money either for these long term stays.

But what about not answering calls... deeply suspicious that she's off doing something naughty, or is just an absolute cow.

How rude that someone doesn’t actually open a text from someone. Unless it’s an appointment reminder or an auto text from a company.

If you WhatsApp she has seen it but has chosen not to open it and respond...to me that is worse. She's seen it pop down and gone....nope.

To me that would make me not want to babysit again.

When I went on a hen weekend, leaving DH at home with DC 8, 7 and 14 months I rang 3 times a day 😆 for the 3 days (2 nights)I was away.

She will probably have read your messages when she received the notification.

Yes that’s very strange. And so sad the kids want to speak to her and she’s not even sending messages.

let’s hope she just really needs the break and is usually attentive.

I would never leave mine for one night let alone three so given the fact she's leaving them at all, it probably shouldn't be too surprising that she's not particularly bothered about them.

what happened when you called her?
or are you to busy slagging her off on mumsnet to call her, if you’re actually concerned she isn’t ok and isn’t getting your messages