Do other parents feel this overwhelmed by noise or is it just me?

@NewHereAsking it's so hard isn't it? My husband and I swap regularly where possible when our son is melting down.

@LettuceAndCarrotsI am the same with “cross talk” and conflicting noises like the ones you describe.

I don't like loud noise at all but it's worse when there are conflicting noises. Like, I hate people talking over the TV. I can't concentrate on reading if there's music or TV or talking in the background. My house is very quiet. My DC is generally pretty good and doesn't like loud noisy environments either, I wonder if it's nature or nurture.

Anyway I read this article a while ago. There are serious negative health impacts from noise, so you're not imagining it. BBC News - How our noisy world is seriously damaging our health
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crmjdm2m4yjo

Drives me insane too. I’m autistic.

I'm the same, also with an autistic DS. I find it unbearable when he has a friend over but obviously don't do that as it would be unfair and I'm just glad he has a friend that pops round.

He also randomly screeches sometimes, which is better than when he was younger and would shriek.

I am like you. It’s like a physical pain. I went to Legoland in April and almost had some kind of meltdown. My husband bought me some loop ear bud things, which help a little.

I am seeking an autism assessment. Other signs: I also tend towards rigid, inflexible thinking and don’t like plans to be changed.

Yep I wear ear defenders

It's DH in this house who couldn't cope with the noisy young kid years. He's not autistic but has sensitive hearing (musician and has it tested for custom earplugs regularly). He can still hear those fox deterrent machines, all I hear is a click!

He also just seemed more emotionally affected by it. Eg baby crying. Not sure if it was purely down to the noise or something else. I found it tiresome but just sort of accept the noise and carry on jiggling!

I also grew up with younger siblings while he's an only child so that might come into it.

I thought it was just me, too. It's so reassuring to read other women experience this as well. Had me feeling like I had something really wrong with me but phew! I'm just emotionally exhausted.

Seriously though, I had my daughter crying her eyes out because her brother was playing with a toy she wanted this evening while I was cooking dinner, and the gardener was outside with a leaf blower, my son whinging and pestering, the crying, the food cooking, the leaf blower, the crying, the whinging, AAAAAAA

Yes I’m hugely triggered by the noise of my kids. It’s gotten worse as Ive got older I’ve realised - my tolerance to noise has decreased they haven’t got any louder than they always have been.

Well if your child is autistic, there's a chance you might be too. And direct family members of autistic people have more autistic traits than average even if you don't meet criteria in other ways. Noise sensitivity is a common trait. I liked the book Too Loud Too Tight Too Fast Too Bright.

But also I think when you have a ND child the stress of parenting them through meltdowns etc starts to get to you and you can end up on edge for signs they are getting in any way agitated/dysregulated. Both my older 2 have ADHD and they have this very specific high pitched giggle that they do (DS1 has grown out of it years ago, but used to) when they are going completely off the wall hyper and when DS2 started to do it I would just instantly go into fight or flight because I knew I'd be soon trying to win an unwinnable battle. The thing is he will start to do that laugh before he's actually hit the stage of the misbehaviour that can't be ignored, so if you took just that moment out of context, I look insane for reacting to it and DH couldn't understand why I would. But he wasn't the sole parent responsible for DS1 during the worst of it!

Interestingly now DS2 has started ADHD medication and we only get the "unfiltered" him for about 2 hours a day I'm massively more tolerant of it and it doesn't wind me up. Whereas if DH tries to put him to bed, he gets really wound up by his behaviour and finds it hard to keep his cool. We used to be the opposite way around. I think it's because when it's bedtime it's at a point of the day where DH is just done with everything. I used to be like that but now that DS2 doesn't constantly go into hyper dysregulation, I just recognise it as he's struggling to manage himself and it doesn't phase me.

I’ve just been to the supermarket, midweek, as you’re meant to do if you aren’t at work. Oh, the school age children shouting, yelling and charging up and down the aisles really hurts my ears.

It was in this book!

Yes it sets me on edge the minute a squabble starts

I cannot handle crying. It makes me need to leave. It’s got more and more difficult to bear as I get older. My kids were aware that this wasn’t the way to get what they wanted. Tears only for actual pain, be that emotional or physical. And tantrums were a solo pursuit so pretty pointless.

Drives me berserk. Particularly the repetitive noises. My husband is the same.

I'm childfree and cannot stand the noise of children. In the supermarket, screaming outside, I can hear my neighbours kids whining and screaming in their house, there's teenagers up the road who are still screaming outside at their age.
I don't know how people can stand it.

I have one child and while she wasn't a screamer or tantrummer, she did everything externally - sing, dance, read, talk to herself ALL OUT LOUD! My friend bought her a musical instrument that I hid time and time again... On my days off I used to drop her to school and come back home to sit still, in absolute silence for a good hour.

I can only imagine with two, they just bounce off each other and it constant. I really feel for you 💐.

I am like your DH, I kind of just manage to block it out and get on with things. DH gets quite overwhelmed with noise and can't cope with our dcs making a racket (he was fine before we had dcs, and life was noisy as we're inner city based - it seems to be kids' noise specifically I think). We all all ND in the house but it's something I've learned to manage quite well. I might get DH some loop earplugs!

I'm the same. I've seen loop earphones recommended.

I know I’m overwhelmed by all the touching more than others are but I am also almost certain I am autistic. gently, you might be too if you have an autistic child, it’s come from one of you or your husband 😅