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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think UC should not count money from my boyfriend as income?

37 replies

lena105 · 05/05/2026 12:34

I’m dealing with a UC overpayment and they’re now questioning transactions on my bank statements. I made notes for them - books, clothes, hairdressers etc.

UC didn’t even cover my rent or basic living costs. (I used savings to cover the difference, overdraft and occasional help).
I never bother keeping record these transactions.
Sometimes I’d pay for things upfront (credit, klarna etc) and my boyfriend would later pay me back. It wasn’t income, just reimbursements or help.

We do NOT have combined finances at all, we dont live together and the relationship is very volatile (we break up a lot).

Can DWP treat that kind of money as income?
And can they question spending that is not technically covered by UC.

I understand that if i was reckless with money I get from them they had the right to question it, but not money gifts from others.

OP posts:
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dadtoateen · 07/05/2026 21:08

Nearly50omg · 07/05/2026 20:05

DO NOT show the DWP your full bank statements!! It is ILLEGAL for them to even ask!! They are allowed to see essential Things on a bank statement such as rent, bills but ANYTHING else you black it out and redact it! NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!’

You are so wrong.
they are entitled to know every transaction and so they should.

MsGreying · 07/05/2026 20:59

lena105 · 05/05/2026 12:50

with volatility come other good aspects of the relationship 😋possibly at some point we might try to make it more permanent.

Show quote history

The break ups? Yes, make that permanent.

You've got a yo-yo relationship. They don't change. Until his volatility really hurts you.

Butterme · 07/05/2026 20:41

Its currently looking like a regular income, so of course they’re going to question it.

Just explain it and then stop paying for things for your boyfriend.
If he wants something then he can take out his own credit card or klarna.

He’s using you and you don’t even live together.

XenoBitch · 07/05/2026 20:11

Nearly50omg · 07/05/2026 20:05

DO NOT show the DWP your full bank statements!! It is ILLEGAL for them to even ask!! They are allowed to see essential Things on a bank statement such as rent, bills but ANYTHING else you black it out and redact it! NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!’

Sorry, but that is not true.
You are not allowed to redact anything. If you do that, you end up with delays in your review being completed. But what you spend your money on is the not what they are concerned with. It is the incomings.

FKAT · 07/05/2026 20:08

So glad I work all week to subsidise messy volatile benefit claimants and their hairdresser and Klarna habits.

Nearly50omg · 07/05/2026 20:05

DO NOT show the DWP your full bank statements!! It is ILLEGAL for them to even ask!! They are allowed to see essential Things on a bank statement such as rent, bills but ANYTHING else you black it out and redact it! NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!’

XenoBitch · 07/05/2026 19:47

pinkdelight · 07/05/2026 19:43

Interesting. How many credit cards have you given guys and paid off every month? Feels like it's only normal in certain kinds of relationships. Same with women being put up in flats by men paying the bills.

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Ha, are you subtly accusing me of being a sex worker?
He would be entitled to a refund if I was 😂

pinkdelight · 07/05/2026 19:43

XenoBitch · 07/05/2026 19:35

My ex gave me a credit card that he paid off every month.
I think being given gifts is pretty normal in a relationship.

Show quote history

Interesting. How many credit cards have you given guys and paid off every month? Feels like it's only normal in certain kinds of relationships. Same with women being put up in flats by men paying the bills.

XenoBitch · 07/05/2026 19:35

BMW58 · 06/05/2026 09:38

Well I'd say in "normal" relationships boyfriends don't regularly, or often, give their GF money or gifts do they!
I worked for HMRC for 39+ years and dealt with sex workers sometimes. In interview it is fairly easy to establish whether a woman is in a genuine relationship or is a prostitute.

I've heard the "he gives me gifts and money but is just a boyfriend" often. Didn't wash.

I assume DWP has the same approach.

Show quote history

My ex gave me a credit card that he paid off every month.
I think being given gifts is pretty normal in a relationship.

BMW58 · 06/05/2026 09:38

lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:33

what is a distinction, a line that getting gifts and money from a boyfriend is not classed as sex work?

Show quote history

Well I'd say in "normal" relationships boyfriends don't regularly, or often, give their GF money or gifts do they!
I worked for HMRC for 39+ years and dealt with sex workers sometimes. In interview it is fairly easy to establish whether a woman is in a genuine relationship or is a prostitute.

I've heard the "he gives me gifts and money but is just a boyfriend" often. Didn't wash.

I assume DWP has the same approach.

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/05/2026 16:51

lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:19

no. we talked about it. broke up (few times).
im too messy, chaotic, impulsive and depressed for him.

i need to sort myself out first.

impulsive - hence my spending and the question if dwp can question my spending that is not covered by UC.

Show quote history

Well given they know your income (whether that be UC or money through employment), they can ask questions about your expenditure if it’s significantly out of step with what you have coming in. They should do that as part of checking your entitlement and yes you should need to evidence where that money comes from in case of off the books employment.

XenoBitch · 05/05/2026 16:34

Boomer55 · 05/05/2026 16:27

If it’s in your bank account, then UC can query it.

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They only care about where it came from, not where it is going.
You could blow the whole amount you get on Pokemon cards, and they wont care.

Boomer55 · 05/05/2026 16:27

lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:19

no. we talked about it. broke up (few times).
im too messy, chaotic, impulsive and depressed for him.

i need to sort myself out first.

impulsive - hence my spending and the question if dwp can question my spending that is not covered by UC.

Show quote history

If it’s in your bank account, then UC can query it.

SandwichSuperstar · 05/05/2026 16:16

lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:19

no. we talked about it. broke up (few times).
im too messy, chaotic, impulsive and depressed for him.

i need to sort myself out first.

impulsive - hence my spending and the question if dwp can question my spending that is not covered by UC.

Show quote history

This is not the first time you’ve started a thread like this though.

Was your question not answered last time and is this a different bloke?

Original poster
lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:33

BMW58 · 05/05/2026 12:55

Could it be that they think it may be a source of income as a sex worker?
"My boyfriend gives me money from time to time" could be an indication-albeit a wrong one?

what is a distinction, a line that getting gifts and money from a boyfriend is not classed as sex work?

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 05/05/2026 14:28

If he does not live with you then I’m sure he can prove his own living costs from his bank statement

I don’t see the issue

Original poster
lena105 · 05/05/2026 14:19

Walkyrie · 05/05/2026 14:07

Yuck

And like many benefit threads I feel you’re testing out a story on posters because you want to know if it’ll hold water before telling UC

Show quote history

no. we talked about it. broke up (few times).
im too messy, chaotic, impulsive and depressed for him.

i need to sort myself out first.

impulsive - hence my spending and the question if dwp can question my spending that is not covered by UC.

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 05/05/2026 14:17

lena105 · 05/05/2026 12:50

with volatility come other good aspects of the relationship 😋possibly at some point we might try to make it more permanent.

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Like what? Kissy kissy make ups?

Friendlygingercat · 05/05/2026 14:14

Ask him to pay you in cash.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 05/05/2026 14:11

They’ll probably start an investigation into you, have an inspector check your home etc.
As long as you are not living together, you should be okay.

Walkyrie · 05/05/2026 14:07

lena105 · 05/05/2026 12:50

with volatility come other good aspects of the relationship 😋possibly at some point we might try to make it more permanent.

Show quote history

Yuck

And like many benefit threads I feel you’re testing out a story on posters because you want to know if it’ll hold water before telling UC

Original poster
lena105 · 05/05/2026 13:57

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 05/05/2026 13:09

Tip... Don't write Hooker on a CV and you'll be fine.

I would have to pay him...

OP posts:
Original poster
lena105 · 05/05/2026 13:56

XenoBitch · 05/05/2026 12:47

It would not count as income, no. It is counted as a gift, and you said it is reimbursement which is fine too. My mum often sends me money because I have made her something or picked up something in a shop that she could not get to.
And they don't care what you spend your money on.
Try not to worry.

Thank you. The problem is that the payments are not labeled...a total chaos.

OP posts:
WilfredsPies · 05/05/2026 13:53

lena105 · 05/05/2026 12:50

with volatility come other good aspects of the relationship 😋possibly at some point we might try to make it more permanent.

Show quote history

You don’t have to settle for one or the other. It’s not an either/or thing you know? You can have amazing aspects with someone who’s nice to you as well. Volatility can be exciting when you’re young and drama is everything but it wears off pretty bloody quickly as you get older.

If he’s paying you back, how is he doing it? By bank transfer? If you can link each Klarna payment to each bank receipt then that would probably help you. It’s probably a better idea to either take money from him in cash, or keep finances completely separate and let him use someone else’s Klarna (guessing his credit isn’t great?)

ChangePrivacyQuestion · 05/05/2026 13:43

BMW58 · 05/05/2026 12:55

Could it be that they think it may be a source of income as a sex worker?
"My boyfriend gives me money from time to time" could be an indication-albeit a wrong one?

In the interest of full honesty, that was my first thought, too.