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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset that family members thought it funny to frighten my son and film it?

106 replies

Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 10:41

If you saw a video of your child running down the road hysterically crying and screaming and adults aged between 27-30 laughing, filming and screaming out RUUUUN (because they had been playing knock down ginger) how would you react? He thought he had people running after them.
me and dh was away for the weekend and left our children with my daughter (younger child 8 stayed with my parents) but then went to stay with dd on the Sunday, younger one is autistic and our ds 10 I suspect has something there too. It was my 10yo that was hysterical but they seemed to find it oh so funny to see him in such a state and I’ve now been made to feel like I have over reacted at seeing my child in distress after leaving them with family that I love and trust to look after him. There has been a massive fall out as my mum has tried to defend the adults and make excuses for them, they haven’t been told that it was out of order and you shouldn’t scare kids like that and I have had no apology at all, had they of taken accountability for it and said actually watching that video it does look really bad and I’m so sorry for upsetting him then I would be able to move on from it, but nothing, in fact my daughter sent me a message telling me I was out of order for arguing with my mum for defending them. My mum seems to think it will all blow over but without them seeing what they actually did wrong I don’t think I can move on from it. I trusted these people and they have completely broken that trust now. Have I overreacted? Is that something loving family members find amusing? To see a little boy so distressed and laugh and carry it on making it worse? Just to add it was my dd, dn and their partners. Sorry if I’m not making much sense I’ve hardly slept for 2 nights. We are a very close family so this fall out has hit me hard.

OP posts:
CoastlineAtlantic · 05/05/2026 12:30

Your DS will have had his trust shaken in these so-called adults in his life, and OP, you shouldn't trust them either.

Sorry if I missed it, but did you take the adults aside and actually ask them why they would do such a nasty thing to your DS?

I would want to know who and why did they play such a mean prank on their young relative to have a laugh at his expense, and filming it, even though 'they can' do that, makes it so so much worse, thanks to the indiscriminate usage of SM.
I would cut ties with them for a while if it were me, maybe longer, they are not trustworthy and shouldn't be looking after your DC.

Pricelessadvice · 05/05/2026 12:19

I hate those videos of adults scaring children. What sick freaks get their kicks like that?
I don’t even particularly like children but I don’t want to see them frightened!

DanaScullysLegoHair · 05/05/2026 12:18

I would be incredibly upset by this too. I'm upset for you and DC just reading it. It is a really calculated, mean thing to do. Fuck them off.

Witchonenowbob · 05/05/2026 12:13

I’m failing to understand why anyone has voted that YABU! You are most definitely NBU. Hope your DC is ok.

catipuss · 05/05/2026 11:59

KateBushAgain · 05/05/2026 11:51

I can’t get my head around adults knocking doors and running away , it’s quite sinister.

I don't understand it at all, were they getting the kids to knock doors and run away while they watched and filmed? Were they houses of people they knew and knew what they were doing? Were they all drunk? Sounds like a very strange type of entertainment for adults. Report them to the police for antisocial behaviour that might sober them up a bit.

KateBushAgain · 05/05/2026 11:51

I can’t get my head around adults knocking doors and running away , it’s quite sinister.

raisinglittlepeople12 · 05/05/2026 11:45

Pranks have consenting individuals of equal cognitive abilities laughing together. Torment and bullying of a child by adults they trust is not a prank. Filming it is a level of cruelty I can’t even fathom. I would go absolutely nuclear on them all.

TableTopTree · 05/05/2026 11:45

I'd be absolutely furious too. I have a family member like this, I will never understand their mean spirited 'sense of humour '

YANBU at all, I hope he's ok

Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 11:44

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 05/05/2026 11:22

I would be absolutely furious! YANBU. Your mother making excuses for these adults… wow, that would make me lose quite a bit of trust.

This is exactly how I feel, and it makes me so sad as we’re all so close. When I said to her I had hardly slept she said neither have the girls, I said good, then she said they’re really upset that they’ve upset you, again good! But I don’t want them to be upset for upsetting me I want them to watch that awful video again and again and reflect on it and be upset for upsetting my little boy

OP posts:
JLou08 · 05/05/2026 11:44

I'd be furious if someone did this at any age. I could maybe have some understanding of it if it was done by teenagers but 27-30 year olds have no excuse. Disgusting behaviour, 4 of them thinking that's acceptable too, it's unbelievable. I'd be worried about the DC they have, they are way too immature to even babysit, never mind raise a child.

ThatCyanCat · 05/05/2026 11:42

beefthief · 05/05/2026 10:42

Pranks are shit. Adult pranks on children are even shitter. You are reasonable.

Nothing to add, just hearty agreement.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 05/05/2026 11:40

Adults abusing dc is what it is.
When my adult dc assaulted my youngest dc he was asked to leave..
That was December 2019..
Take no shit on behalf of your dc op.. If no apology comes to you and your dc I wouldn't be spending time with them again.

Darrara · 05/05/2026 11:36

I'd be making it abundantly clear that this was cruel, juvenile behaviour around an upset, frightened ten year old, and that I expected them to apologise properly to him for the scare, and for filming it and treating it as a big joke.

I mean, leaving aside for a moment what kind of adult rings people's doorbells and runs away (?), only an absolutely moron wouldn't have stopped immediately once they realised your DS was frightened, and taken the time to explain it was a joke gone wrong, and reassure him he'd done nothing wrong and no one was chasing him. AND deleted the video, obviously, rather than circulating it for family amusement.

TreesinthePark · 05/05/2026 11:33

It wouldn't be acceptable by children his own age.

I feel for you knowing one of your children has treated the other so badly. Hopefully they will apologise but best not to leave son with them again.

yawatnow · 05/05/2026 11:28

I would be so angry. This is not funny, it is just cruel.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 05/05/2026 11:22

I would be absolutely furious! YANBU. Your mother making excuses for these adults… wow, that would make me lose quite a bit of trust.

SorcererGaheris · 05/05/2026 11:20

Once they realised your child was in distress, they should have ended things immediately. The fact that they seemingly found it funny and continued to scare him is incredibly immature and oblivious at best. At worst, it's malicious.

They haven't apologised or accepted they've done anything wrong, so you are certainly not overreacting or being unreasonable here. I would hate to see my nephews (almost 11 and 8) terrified and crying.

Contrarymary30 · 05/05/2026 11:13

I wouldn't leave him with them again . You can't Trust them if they think it's funny to scare a child .

Lomonald · 05/05/2026 11:09

beefthief · 05/05/2026 10:42

Pranks are shit. Adult pranks on children are even shitter. You are reasonable.

This, your poor son.

Pickapocket · 05/05/2026 11:07

They must have been drunk to be knocking on doors and running away at their age. Fools! No kids should be left in their care.

YANBU to be furious with seeing your DC in unnecessary distress, caused by an overgrown man child. Yes, they should apologise.

Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 11:05

Sprinkleofspice · 05/05/2026 11:00

Immature behaviour from the adults to be knocking doors and running. Really shit to be laughing at kids who are scared and crying, and then share the video. Was this your sister, your niece or all of them? I don’t think I’d want my DC staying with them anymore, they have proven they are too immature to look after a child

It was my daughter and my niece and their partners (they also had their young children with them too) it’s made me so sad as I would usually only trust my family with my kids so they are my main support and they’ve gone and done this, and instead of seeing it from my point of view they’ve gone on the defensive, which has made me realise that I can’t leave my kids with them now, I’ve not had a call or text from anyone saying they was out of order so in my eyes they think I’m over reacting and it’s not a big deal.

OP posts:
Sprinkleofspice · 05/05/2026 11:00

Immature behaviour from the adults to be knocking doors and running. Really shit to be laughing at kids who are scared and crying, and then share the video. Was this your sister, your niece or all of them? I don’t think I’d want my DC staying with them anymore, they have proven they are too immature to look after a child

EmeraldShamrock000 · 05/05/2026 11:00

I think that I would be arrested for assault or property damage if this was my child. I’d need a Valium to restrain myself.
I would not speak to these mindless idiots again.
How dare they put that fear into a child? Crazy.

watchingthishtread · 05/05/2026 10:57

I would be absolutely furious. Your daughter has shown that she can't be left in charge.

Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 10:50

Witchcraftandhokum · 05/05/2026 10:47

So he'd been knocking on doors and running away?

One of the adults were my nieces partner. My 10yo is a very anxious little boy and don’t like anything like that he’s actually very sensible

OP posts: