AIBU to be upset that family members thought it funny to frighten my son and film it?

Cut contact and never leave him with them ever again. Evil little shits. How can they find this funny. If anyone is out order it is all of them. I would be fucking livid and ripping them all a new arsehole!

for one that was not a good thing to play; a lot of people would have been scared to get unexpected knocking on the door.
for your poor child to be scared out of their wits i would give them short shrift and would not leave my kids with them again

You are very wrong. The child was frightened, perhaps thought everyone was going to get into trouble. He was not overreacting at all. The blame and shameful behaviour lies with the adults who instead of caring for the child put him into a very stressful situation and filmed his distress. OP, you don’t need people like this in your life.

You're in the 'right' with this. I'd go absolutely nuclear. They clearly aren't mature or responsible enough to look after children; I'd never in a million years humiliate my nephew like this.
They are most likely getting defensive as they know deep down they are in the wrong!

Jealousy could be a factor although your son should have been cared for and he clearly wasn’t.

Not acceptable at all. Adults making fun of children, causing them distress and then choosing to film said distress, instead of comforting them is disgusting. When I am looking after children, I go out of my way to make sure they are safe and comfortable. What is wrong with people!

They were cruel and abusive and if your niece does not mind if you were to scare her children, she's not fit to be a mother and l would be really concerned about her children.

Furious on your behalf OP. Poor kid.

Dreadful people and you say that they have children themselves, l would not trust them with a dog never mind a child.
How can your daughter entertain that, were they all drunk/on drugs indefensible l could not forgive that. Your poor son.

This could even be a police involvement event.

No way would I ever go near the people again, family or no family. Your chin will remember this forever and could give him some problems later on in life.
It's cruel and not what we should be teaching kids to do stuff like this. To be blunt your son was being bullied by adults
Do not interact with them. Son 1st

Your poor child. What a horrendous experience. Your daughter is a disgrace, as are the other adults involved.
Perhaps you need to show the video to safeguarding at your childs school to see what they think.
I wouldn't ever trust them again.
Your mother is a disgrace defending them.
OP, normal families do not behave like this. Sick, twisted, evil people like terrifying children.

They are a disgrace. I would be so angry about this I would have nothing to do with any of them. They sound deranged.

Very well said.

This @Mrsknowitall. Now try to get on with your day knowing you had every right to call them out.

No, abuse, whether physical, sexual, or emotional, is not ok.
Too many people act as if boys have no right to have feelings, and have to be "tough" all the time. That's not fair to them, and potentially dangerous for women in the future. I wouldn't let these people be alone with my kids and I would tell them you're passing this on to the police before they physically harm any other children.

YANBU.

Adults playing pranks on a child which leave the child hysterical and terrified is completely unacceptable. And filming that distress seems borderline psychopathic!

I can't understand how anyone thought this was okay

There are so many levels to this.

1- knock knock ginger is cruel to the initial victims who are the householders. Old people, parents with babies, anxious people, people grieving, people sleeping, night shift workers, people just going about their business and not wanting to be the sport of others- it’s a game that gives no thought or care to community or people or neighbors. Selfish twat game in other words. (Usually played by children without the faculty to consider the wider social issues)

2- Grown adults “playing” it with the added “benefit” of terrifying children and or taking delight in the involuntary expletives of a disabled child?! Dear lord that takes some brass neck don’t it?

3- those adults are in loco parentis, supposedly “love” these children who (in addition to their unwilling neighbors) they have decided to make sport of for their amusement? Coupled with the doubling down of this right to laugh at , and not with, children, minors, their family /siblings (!) and refusal to accept any accountability for their actions? Adults, even when they thought they were right in the moment, acknowledge the harms they may have unintentionally caused, and apologise accordingly. They don’t make sport of children and the disabled unless they really are shit imo.

4- the recording of their sport for the enjoyment of public consumption of said video presumably for likes and shares, without the consent (and in open disregard of parental consent) of the minors or the neighbors who play victim in these adults “games”? How can they, the whole lot of them, defend this catalogue of actions?

op YANBU and I am so sorry for you. It must hurt so deeply to be so let down, so misunderstood in your position and having so misunderstood who you thought they were, what a devastating series of events for you. Hold your children tightly and take time to come to terms with the implications of all that has unfolded here.

It's not just the fact he was upset, it's the multiple things for me.

I wouldn't want adults encouraging my child to do something which is objectively bad behaviour (annoying to the person whose door you knock on) Just WTAF even to this in the first place. I can't understand this at all. To me it's like sending your child to a babysitter and the babysitter is giving them cigarettes and teaching them to swear. That's not a person I want influencing my child!

I wouldn't want adults encouraging my child to do something he's incredibly uncomfortable with that he doesn't have to do or doesn't have a very good reason. If you think this is a harmless prank then replace it with a hypothetical idea that child is uncomfortable with and adult insists. Trying alcohol? Giving a kiss goodbye to a relative? Sitting on strange adult's lap? Watching an 18 rated scary film? Taking a physical risk e.g. jumping from a high place where they could get injured? Many people would be upset about their child being forced/encouraged to do these things against their will. Participating in a prank makes the list for me.

I would be very upset to find any adult laughing at my child's distress instead of helping them. Yes sometimes a small child's upset or confusion or even accidental minor injury can be funny but you help first and laugh later. The fact this is a 10yo just makes it worse. It can be funny when a 2yo is having a totally irrational tantrum. But 10 year olds don't get upset for no reason. It would seriously dent my trust in their ability to keep him safe because they don't seem to believe him when he's telling them he's scared and because they are leading him to believe that there are dangers when there are not, even if they did that accidentally.

Lastly even if you think the prank is harmless/funny and they thought he would understand it was a joke and not be scared and they were surprised by his response and a bit giddy, it is completely out of order not to change tack once you realise that he was genuinely frightened, apologise and explain the situation to him.

This is nothing to do with your son being ND or otherwise, his fear reaction is what any child would have coming from a normal, stable household finding himself among a bunch of fucking chavs who can't be trusted to water a plant let alone be in charge of a child.

Sorry op. Yanbu about how it was wrong for the adults to frighten your young kids.

But
YABVU to describe your (adult) child as your ‘family support’. Find a babysitter and let your adult daughter live her life - you should be helping her, not the other way around.

Me too
I’d report to social services or the olive if someone - family or not - did that to my children
I’d be livid!

Most practical jokers are.

How long was the video? And was it just a case of them all shouting RUN! And him then becoming distressed in all the chaos? I wouldn't necessarily fall out with them over it, he does sound very sensitive, it doesn't sound like the objective was to upset him, they weren't pranking him they were all in on the prank and he got upset during it. I wouldn't necessarily fall out with them over it.

@ButterYellowFlowers

It wasn't the adults playing knock down ginger in itself that distressed him - at least not from how I read the OP's post. It was the fact that they pretended the boy was being chased by angry adults. The boy clearly thought he was in a lot of trouble.