I’m not happy in life

You should be grateful for your life and live it to the maximum. Horrible things happen and the majority of these things can’t be changed. You sound depressed?

Life is inherently unfair. No-one has a right to happiness, and you can't do anything at all to change or fix that.

The only persons happiness you can control is your own. You being miserable just because a lot of other people are doesn't make the world a better place. You allowing yourself some happiness does. If part of that happiness means doing something to improve the lives of others, even better.

Performative miserableness helps noone. You're far more likely to have the get up and go to improve the lot of others if you're happy in your own life.

Talking to your friend about something distressing you are experiencing is not performative. Nor is acknowledging you seem to be the odd one out.

Talking to your friend about it and saying that everyone else feels differently.
Do something useful and help someone OP or just keep quiet and stop bringing everyone else down for no reason at all.

I've known a number of people like this, who are constantly angry and upset about politics and world events over which they have no control, and who are convinced that this makes them somehow morally superior to those who try to live positive and creative lives.

They never ask themselves: what does my misery and anger achieve? If the answer was "nothing" it would be bad enough, but it's often a lot worse than that, because they do achieve something - with their obsessive projection of misery, conflict and anger, they make other people around them feel unhappy too.

In contrast, people with a positive and creative focus help infuse others with optimism and joie de vivre, far more useful if we want to make the world a better place in ways that we actually can.

Theres a very simple answer - dont consume the news in any manner.

Btw I also struggle with this. As a child the idea of homeless people on the streets used to keep me awake crying at night. I do tend towards depression. I don’t have a solution but just in case it’s useful, when I can feel myself panicking with difficult thoughts I say to myself things like: “I feel very sad that X,YZ” and I’m very specific with it. Such as “I feel real pain in my body because those children are suffering and I feel I am powerless”. Etc. I try to articulate and let the feeling live while sort of observing it, and fully accepting it. It’s a mindfulness technique and I find it helps a lot more than trying to push the anxious and sad feelings away.

Also many great thinkers have written about why people stood by as people suffered under the Nazi’s, and you might find that an interesting area to explore (assuming you haven’t already!).

Do you read any philosophy? Many, many people have grappled with this before you. The Ancient Greek philosophers had loads to say about happiness. More recently Peter Singers ideas on “ethical action” might be interesting to you.

I’d recommend this book. It’s not directly about your questions but in exploring why people become burnt out it has a lot to say about living a good life, and is really well written and engaging: https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/products/exhausted-book-anna-katharina-schaffner-9781800816909?sku=GOR013591915&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19553277260&gbraid=0AAAAADZzAIDb-QUX1Raxir6BMnHtXH7TR&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImPqxjuGhlAMVHYdQBh1I9jHFEAQYASABEgJ7kfD_BwE

This - it's very unlikely the real issue is about world events.

Sounds like you might be depressed? Maybe see GP?

Have to agree with those pointing out that you being miserable because of the news - and expecting other people to be miserable, too - isn't helping any of the victims of world events, in any way at all. You are in fact just pointlessly adding to the world's misery.

Me, I think myself fortunate that I live in a relatively peaceful, stable and prosperous corner of the globe. I pay enough attention to the news to get an idea of what's going on, but I don't wallow in tragedy and injustice that I can't do anything at all about.

Over-exposure to stressful and unhappy news stories can indeed create anxiety and depression amongst people who have no need to feel those responses to events that don't involve them. The idea that there's some kind of "virtue" in making yourself pointlessly unhappy in that way is just nonsense.

Well there must be small ways you can help people around you if you want to make a difference. Volunteering and so forth.

Stuff like wars in other countries you can’t really do much about.

People talk to their friends about things that are troubling them all the time. This is a normal function of a friendship. It’s not performative to share a feeling with a friend.

To be performative would be to show an insincere display of feelings designed to impress others or control others’ perception of you, rather than to reflect genuine internal thoughts.

‘Pointless self-torment’ does not equal performative, it just means emotions being channelled in an unhealthy way.

There is zero here to suggest OP is being performative, so let’s put that MN buzzword away here.

OP, the way you feel and experience life can be addressed in consideration of life’s deep philosophical questions about matters such as; good vs evil, human suffering, human consciousness, society, beauty, love etc, etc!

For some, religion can provide the answers and solace. For some not reading the news is enough.

Mindfulness, yoga, meditation, nature and great works of literature as well as composers such as Bach, Mozart, Mendelssohn, Elgar, actually do provide me with the solace I need to feel
joy, while also placing me mentally in the space of horrors of the human condition.

As PPs have asked are you able to access your inner creativity which could allow you to express and experience your pain in other ways.

When something absolutely hideous happened to me, OP, I ended up needing therapy for it. My psychologist told me that she needed to help me find a way to walk alongside the pain rather than tangled up in it.

It was a long journey, and it's still going on to some extent, but that is exactly what she did. She helped me to learn when I could and couldn't make a difference and to protect my well-being at the times I couldn't so that I was healthy and energised for the times I could.

Maybe it would help you to speak to someone like that and talk through your current feelings?

And Lady Macbeth, I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Agree with PPs - getting upset about things happening elsewhere in the world/not actually affecting you, to the point you can't feel any happiness yourself, is a huge indicator of depression.
I think part of it is the constant rolling 24/7 news - which is often sensationalised and clickbaity, designed to get your attention. People in past decades just didn't have all this constant information - and yet the world was arguably worse then than it is now (World Wars, Cold War, Cuban Crisis, famines etc) - the human brain was never designed to take on the woes of the whole world.
See your GP - and limit news/social media - it really isn't normal to be feeling like this.

You are zero help to anyone being maudlin over the state of the world. It’s always been dreadful and will remain dreadful. It’s fine to watch the news and think, that’s awful I’m glad I don’t live in XY or Z place but dwelling like that on stuff even when out with friends means something is amiss mentally. No one really has the right to anything all you can do is make the most of their own life. Or work for a charity or some sort of organisation that wants to alleviate suffering.

My MIL is like this but vocalises it, I think she wants people to think she is very nice and caring but her crying at the drop of a hat at every sad news story just makes me want to avoid her.

I used to be like you when I was younger but now I am 60, I just put it out of my head because there is absolutely no point in worrying about something that I cannot change.

I will give to charity etc and that is my way of doing something.

Nobody is fine with the way the world is but other than making a difference to your own little corner of the world there really is not much else you can do. Not going out for lunch with friends is not going to change DV or stop conflict on the other side of the world. You may as well stay in the woods and wear a sack cloth.

Yeah, this may be true. In my early 20s I took to reading about the Holocaust - well, it's a big subject, a worthy one. But, well, I came to see that really I was depressed and was using something like that to justify it, it wasn't quite as worthy an intent as I thought at the time. It was more a case of 'Well, of course I'm depressed, I've been reading about the Holocaust, what do you expect?'

To be honest, I think there is probably something deeper mentally going on with you - and you are using world events to mask the real issue.

Of course it's normal to feel sad/sympathy for events like Couzens, Rudakubana, Israel/Palestine, Russia/Ukraine etc - but for it to affect your life in the way you describe isn't normal.

Please see your GP.

Well I suppose the reality is that if you can’t be happy, if you have tried, and you can’t then that’s kind of that.

But for what it’s worth I think you have it a bit wrong. There will always be suffering. And inequality. And injustice. It doesn’t mean, in my view that you should not seek and find joy where you can.

I have always been engaged in politics (national and international). I used to be an active member of the Labour Party, did a socially useful job and volunteered throughout my life from teenage years onwards (a few different roles, but the most long standing were adult literacy, visiting older isolated people, and then the Samaritans). I never felt that my volunteering made me a “good” person. And I didn’t think it cancelled out the suffering I encountered. But I did make a small difference to the lives of the people I encountered. Alongside my awareness of how much suffering there was, I was also able to take real joy in the life I had created with my husband and our 3 children. We had a blast. I don’t think that made me an uncaring person.

Then in October last year my darling oldest daughter died, entirely unexpectedly, aged 24. My daughter was one of the most joyful people I have ever known. She bubbled over with laughter and kindness. She was hugely empathetic but also really enjoyed life. I shall never get over the loss of her. It’s her birthday in 2 days. The despair I feel is absolute. But I’m glad I took the joy when I did. And despite my pain now, I do not begrudge others their happiness either. My close friends are moving on with their lives now, still supporting me, but taking joy where they can. I want that for them.

It sounds trite I know and I don’t mean to lecture you OP, but I would say just make the most of the life you have, enjoy things as much as you can. And it is possible to combine having fun with doing some good, bringing some comfort, adding some joy along the way. Making the most of the life you have does not, in my view, equate with not caring about others.

I think practising gratitude is one strong antidote to what you describe OP. You say you feel it is wrong to allow yourself to feel happiness in light of terrible things happening to other people. I think that is incorrect. If anything the fact that you are lucky enough not to experience it means you are duty bound to enjoy and celebrate the freedoms and choices that you do have. You need to change your internal framing of this. Find a way to hold two ideas at the same time: both that people suffer and that you can enjoy your life.

OP I think you need to make the following changes to feel better:
Firstly, a news diet. Just stop reading or watching the news for a month or two. There is nothing you can do about it anyway. If it is making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to stop.
Secondly, take a break from advocating for conflicts and oppressed groups. Seriously. You are focussing on issues you cannot affect. It makes you feel powerless. Give meetings or Facebook groups or whatever a miss for a few months.
Next, pick a local activity where you genuinely can achieve some immediate concrete benefit. A soup kitchen, a food bank, a homelessness centre… there are plenty about.
Finally, if you don’t already and are physically able to, get some regular exercise. A long walk is enough to start. Ideally in nature.