To feel regretful, anxious and overwhelmed for finally leaving

You are going to look back on this in 1 year and be so thankful to yourself. Your son shouldn’t have to grow up being called names and hearing you being called names. Good for you changing things for the better.

Will your ex be paying child maintenance when you leave ?
If not put in a claim ASAP

Your new life will be great, better to have your freedom !

You are doing brilliantly OP x

One thing at a time. The most important thing for your son is that you are free from your abuser. That's more important than the school now. You can think about a better school later.
"One thing at a time" was my mantra during my separation, and the only thing that kept me sane.

You are 100% doing the right thing in leaving.

Fast forward 2, 5, 10 years. Imagine what staying will do to you, your son, your futures. This is why you decided to leave. You know you both deserve better than this nasty bully of a man.

Get yourself into that new flat the minute you can. If it’s warm, safe, has somewhere to sleep and cook, just go. Your little boy is very young. He will adapt. You may find that despite or even because of his additional needs, he adapts more quickly than you expect.

You can do this! You are already doing it.l!

You have done so so well, stay strong for your son. He needs to be away from the man that is bullying him, the man that doesn't like him. One month from now your son will be living a life free from abuse and you will have saved him from that life and saved yourself. Your son needs you.

Wow op - i am in awe of you - you can do this - leave the absolute cunt and i hope you find all the happiness this world has to offer you. Your son will thank you for it. You got this!!

This man has brought out the worst anxieties in you. Of course the thought of changing your life has triggered massive doubts, it's natural, but that's all it is. Once you no longer have him casting such a dark shadow on your lives, you will start to relax.
The fear of being on your own - I get it but if anything happened to you now, he wouldn't step up anyway.
It will be much better when you move and thought parents will be able to offer more help.
Please find a way to tell them more of what you are going through. You don't need to give all the awful details, but enough so they understand why you need to leave.

It's absolutely normal to feel like that. It will get better, you will see. It won't be immediate, but little by little. You will look back from time to time and see how much better you are, I promise.

Following. Your situation is eerily similar to mine. I wish you all the luck in the world to finally be free. I’m 9 months out xx

I think it’s because you said you’ve had help from your parents to find a place and furnish it so it sounded like you had already furnished it?

Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately some people are very much like that. Well done for taking a leap of faith and making the decision to leave.

Did you appeal the decision not to assess? Unfortunately LAs sometimes expect people to appeal and will always say no first (this has been my experience for virtually everything - you have to use the law as they ignore it), but I don't know your child.

My child is non verbal at 7 and in nappies and in specialist, so has severe learning disabilities too. He managed a year in MS with support but it was clear from day 1 it wouldn't work there. It may be that your child can manage a mainstream with support, but don't feel like you can't apply for an EHCP again if you think he needs it. It's bloody shitty he hasn't helped you with any of this either, as even getting support and learning how to adapt to your child's needs is incredibly demanding of your time and mental energy. You have done brilliantly given he has tried to knock your confidence at every opportunity.

Well done for sorting this all out and being (almost) ready to leave OP. You have done so well, and it is really scary but you know it's the right thing to do and so try not to think about it too much and just do it. You will get through the worst bit.

What helped me, was becoming my own cheerleader. I would literally congratulate myself for everything I did that was hard, out loud. Like giving myself a pat on the back!

Presumably you've seen your GP about your mental health? It may be worth telling them about what's happening, they can refer you to a DV charity.

You are so brave and strong. Having all these feelings is normal but you’ll get through it, you’re doing the right thing for you and your child.

I haven't read thread fully, but just want to say I have a profoundly autistic child and my partner is brilliant. We both chip in together and sometimes there are curt words (usually because our ears are being blasted by vocal stimming) but we do sort things out. It can be expected in our situation. It is incredibly tough looking after a child like this and does break a lot of relationships, but you are looking after two people here by the sounds of it.

I think it is very sad to get to this point and I can understand why parents disengage and get depressed, but he is totally unwilling to change and is blaming you. You have absolutely done the right thing. It is the best thing for your child.

I think with the school you will probably need to seek support with getting him in the right school and it is probably better you get the ball rolling once you move as it can take time. IPSEA and other SEN sites can help explain the process. Do you have DLA sorted for your child? His needs sound quite high?

There is a poster that hangs around the SN Children board that knows her stuff and will probably be there if you post something asking for advice. PM me if you want any advice on this.