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Original poster

How do I find out whether someone is still living or has died?

135 replies

AFrustratingSituation · 04/05/2026 20:09

What is the quickest, cheapest, easiest and most straightforward way of checking whether someone is still living or has died?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
BreatheAndFocus · 05/05/2026 13:37

AFrustratingSituation · 05/05/2026 08:14

I've just checked freeBMD but their search period only goes up to 2000.

Were they not born before that? You use FreeBMD to find their DOB. You then use that info on other sites to find them. Bear in mind that different ancestry sites can have different records, ie one site might not have them but another does, so you need to check all the main ones. Some also have newspaper records where you can search for their name.

Agapornis · 05/05/2026 13:02

In this episode of The Willpower Detectives (Radio 4 documentary), they found an elderly relative by calling lots of care homes in the area.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0029hdg
Tell them 'hi, I'm trying to contact my uncle/aunt X, I've been told he lives there, is that right?' If they're being weird claiming GDPR then they should at least be able to tell you that someone does not live there.

You can definitely find the birth certificate with the info you have (unless it's something generic like John Smith born in the 1950s in London) which will give you a date of birth. It'll just take time.

Shadow World - The Willpower Detectives - 8. Nearest and Dearest - BBC Sounds

Sue Mitchell reports on a battle within one family over a wealthy grandfather’s finances.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0029hdg

boxtop · 05/05/2026 12:06

Contact the estate agent who sold the house and ask whether they can recall the property "and if you think it's likely they left a forwarding address, or is it the case that they passed away or went into care...?". I doubt the agents are allowed to tell you much, and they certainly won't be able to tell you where this person has moved to, but if you're nice to them you might be able to read their reaction enough to give you your answer. Like if they say "oh, I'm sure you could write to the current owners and ask them to forward mail on" or something.

Obviously this works better with a family-run rural estate agents than like Foxtons or whatever.

GasPanic · 05/05/2026 12:04

If you know their full name and other details then you can search for them on the probate register.

This won't give you a definitive answer as to whether they have died, but it at least will tell you whether they have died and left a will that has gone through probate, which apparently is about 50% of people in the UK who die.

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2026 11:54

AFrustratingSituation · 05/05/2026 10:09

Thank you. I might just have to suck it up, pay and use them as a starting point, at least.

All I know of this person is their first and last names; the city they were born in; and their full address (so town) from around mid 2000s until around 18 months/2 years when the house they lived in was sold.

The person who owned the house is a close relative of mine so I know all their details apart from current address.

We haven't been in contact with them for over 13 years. I don't have any other way of finding out about either of them - my sibling is also estranged from them for the same reason I am, which is directly linked to the person I'm trying to find out about.

Show quote history

If you know their name and city where they were born, you can put an age range on Ancestry of us to 10 years. So guess at, for example 1948, but do plus or minus 10 years. You can then search through, it might be lots of answers but as I said I have found people despite not thinking it possible. Good luck!

Mokel · 05/05/2026 11:49

A few years ago, my DM decided on a whim to search her sister’s name. Having an unusual middle name helped.

She found that she died 2 years prior.

That would explain things. As three years earlier we stopped getting Xmas cards then a few years before it was her useless husband who wrote cards.

Had MND

SaffySaffron · 05/05/2026 11:24

Op I have private messaged you.

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/05/2026 11:17

I am dying (pardon the pun) to know the story OP. I understand you don't want to tell us but I just want to say you are torturing nosy buggers like me 🤣

Arsewype · 05/05/2026 11:11

watchingthishtread · 05/05/2026 11:07

RIP.ie will tell you if someone has passed away. If they are alive and you know the names of their extended family you might find that they are mentioned on the listing of another family member who has passed away. That would give you an area of the country to start your search.

For someone 30ish Linkedin is usually the place to find them.

I presume the OP is in the UK.

watchingthishtread · 05/05/2026 11:07

RIP.ie will tell you if someone has passed away. If they are alive and you know the names of their extended family you might find that they are mentioned on the listing of another family member who has passed away. That would give you an area of the country to start your search.

For someone 30ish Linkedin is usually the place to find them.

ruffler45 · 05/05/2026 11:02

..

problembottom · 05/05/2026 10:53

I second a local community Facebook group for the quickest, easiest route - I see posts like this all the time on mine asking what became of someone.

Post your request anonymously or ask someone you trust to do it on your behalf and you'll most probably get the answer within the day.

ruffler45 · 05/05/2026 10:40

192.com can give some electoral register information it also uses "Halo" death register for mortality checks.

https://www.miexact.com/halo/

You will have register and buy some credits on 192.com to use it

Halo Deceased Identity Fraud Prevention | MiExact

Protect against identity fraud with Halo Deceased Identity Fraud Prevention . Safeguard your business and customers from Identity Fraud with Halo!

https://www.miexact.com/halo

Original poster
AFrustratingSituation · 05/05/2026 10:19

Nimblethimble · 05/05/2026 10:13

Did they have a regular pub or venue they would visit? Try asking there if so.

That's a good shout. I'd have to do a bit of thinking to remember...

But I wouldn't want to turn up and bump into them either!

I'm not sure they'd tell me though.

But it's worth considering! Thank you.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/05/2026 10:17

does anyone know how to find someone who moved to Ireland? Not on FB or in directory enquiries Ireland. DB’s teenage best friend and family friend up to 30 years of age. We know old address they lived in London.

Original poster
AFrustratingSituation · 05/05/2026 10:15

watchingthishtread · 05/05/2026 10:04

They won't want to be found since moving.

You're starting to give stalker vibes now.

I know and I understand it looks like that.

Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about that.

OP posts:
Nimblethimble · 05/05/2026 10:13

Did they have a regular pub or venue they would visit? Try asking there if so.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/05/2026 10:10

My aunt was told by a friend he’d died, his open fb profile shows last entry 2024, not on current electoral records.

Original poster
AFrustratingSituation · 05/05/2026 10:09

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2026 09:46

Ancestry does have newer records BTW. It's how I discovered that a friend had died in 2023. Also that her husband had died shortly before her death.
What details do you have on this person OP? Do you know where they were born for example? Or details of their parents? It makes it easier if you have some correct info. I have found lots of details of relatives but it is time consuming.

Thank you. I might just have to suck it up, pay and use them as a starting point, at least.

All I know of this person is their first and last names; the city they were born in; and their full address (so town) from around mid 2000s until around 18 months/2 years when the house they lived in was sold.

The person who owned the house is a close relative of mine so I know all their details apart from current address.

We haven't been in contact with them for over 13 years. I don't have any other way of finding out about either of them - my sibling is also estranged from them for the same reason I am, which is directly linked to the person I'm trying to find out about.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/05/2026 10:07

I need to find this out too. Uncle of mine who’s by marriage. His ex wife moved abroad to escape him. I’ll try ancestry.

watchingthishtread · 05/05/2026 10:04

They won't want to be found since moving.

You're starting to give stalker vibes now.

Upstartled · 05/05/2026 09:52

AFrustratingSituation · 04/05/2026 20:09

What is the quickest, cheapest, easiest and most straightforward way of checking whether someone is still living or has died?

Thank you.

,

JustAnotherWhinger · 05/05/2026 09:52

If they’re someone who would hide from the voters roll and the likes then a PI might be a better shout.

especially if you don’t want them or their children to know you are looking.

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2026 09:46

Ancestry does have newer records BTW. It's how I discovered that a friend had died in 2023. Also that her husband had died shortly before her death.
What details do you have on this person OP? Do you know where they were born for example? Or details of their parents? It makes it easier if you have some correct info. I have found lots of details of relatives but it is time consuming.

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