AIBU to be upset after my cat died and partner left

This. Could it actually be that she is right and is trying to protect you? And not seeing his kids is not because he’s with you but because he’s an abusive arsehole?

Either way, you are well out of the toxic drama between those two and can concentrate on moving forwards. I’m so sorry about your cat. People often don’t understand the grief that we feel when we lose our pets, but it’s real ans crippling. Many of us have been there and I too Second looking into getting help with your bereavement.

Sorry about your cat. Do not get back with this man. You are better off without him. He has not seen his kids in 2 years. He has definitely done something wrong. He could simply go to court and they allow fathers access to children even if they are terrible and have been imprisoned for domestic violence and other terrible things. He has not been telling you the truth. When you are ready, get a cat who will brighten your day and not kick you when you are down.

Get another furry friend as soon as you are able, maybe a rescued cat. Pity you can't trade ex in for a new cat, which would be cheaper.

Me too. I’m not saying it’s impossible that she’s lying, but statistically, the chances are slim.

Please allow yourself to grieve for your cat, and get rid of him. It sounds as though you would be far happier giving your love to another animal than to waste it on him. I found after abusive exH #2, I was far happier alone with my cats and dog - that was 10 years ago and I've never looked back.

I’m sorry about your cat op.

he sounds absolutely vile. I would LOVE to hear his ex wife’s side of the story!!

He's been shit to you and yet 80% of your post is defending you poor ex against what you consider to be a baseless accusation.

Any chance she might have said "leave her or I'll report you" because she's worried about your safety?

Not many women report their boyfriends or husbands for rape and happily carry in the relationship. By which I mean its completely logical she didn't report him while she was with him.

Fwiw my ex was a dick when my pet died, kept complaining that me being sad was ruining his day. Incidentally, he was also controlling, isolated me and shouted in my face. Was your relationship.really a bed of roses or are you just struggling to adjust to being alone?

I'm so sorry about your cat. What was he called, what sort of cat was he?

Your ex is a tosser. You can absolutely do better. Have a good cry, and then start rebuilding your life.

So he’s moody and blames you for stuff, and isn’t allowed to see his children at all…. But of course his ex is the liar?? You sound a bit colour blind to all the red flags waving around here.

YANBU to end things, sorry for the loss of your cat, it’s a really rubbish thing to go through.

This is reason to leave hom irrespective of the validity of any accusations.

I'm sorry about your cat, it's heartbreaking when they leave us.

You've had a lucky escape with your ex.

I’m so sorry about your cat, that’s really sad.

”Leave her or I’ll report to the police” doesn’t in my opinion indicate that he isn’t a rapist - rather that he is and she has reported the rape either in retaliation or to try and protect either you, or her kids from witnessing his behaviour to you.

Its not a huge step from kicking you when you’re down to abuse….

Oh that’s a massive red flag! Please don’t have him back!

Sorry about your cat. Pet loss is awful and can open a lot of emotional 'doors' to other stresses and losses. Your life sounds chaotic and your ex sounds pretty awful. From what you've posted here I don't think you should take him back. If you are struggling with the loss of your cat and have nobody to talk to, the PDSA do an excellent support service. Google 'pdsa pet loss support' and you'll find them. You can talk to someone on the phone or via email. Take care.

He has done you a favour by leaving. 💯
He sounds like an entitled twat, who was jealous of your feelings towards your cat and his feelings needs to be centre stage no matter what the situation.

Don't take him back, or else he will grind you down with his woes. 🖕

Sorry for the loss of your cat 💐
@Lonelyumbrella

He’s a waste of space, give him no more thought.

Sorry about your cat.

I think this is the main issue and his treatment of the OP has been the tipping point.

OP he doesn't have your back. It's time to tell him to sling his hook.

I'm sorry about your cat, they're family aren't they? I'd love to see a photo and hear about cat shenanigans. Or just the cat shenanigans if not up to a photo.

Im sorry about your cat.
Yes, your ex should stay gone.
Nobody who loves you would treat you badly.

If he can treat you like that after your loss then he’s no loss himself. He has no consideration for you.

I'm so sorry about your cat 🌷

EX is horrible to you, be strong, don't take him back. You deserve much better than being hus verbal punch bag. He can fuck off & sort his own shit out. I know it's a horrible time to be in your own, but he walked out on you when you'd just had your beautiful cat PTS, so you were going through it alone anyway.

Do you have a family member/friend who would understand how sad you are about your cat? & support you being strong enough but to take Mr Horrible back??

🌷💕

He's a next level arsehole. Why are you focusing on his ex so much?

Ime death can help you see the real person - he isn't the man for you op. At his dc's ages they could see him if they wanted to. Nothing to do with their dm at that age. He sounds awful and you are well rid...
So sorry about your dcat op.
Maybe consider the only gap needing filled in your life is a dcat shaped one. Lots of lovely kitties need a second chance.
But him, no he doesn't deserve one.

If his ex accused him of rape I would believe her