To think almost every woman in the world has suffered some form of sexual harassment by age 30?

I'm 60 and have never been harassed- never touched and no lewd comments. I had no male attention at all until I met my first boyfriend at 24, who became my husband. I think I often have a grumpy, off-putting face, and am flat chested. I don't think I am ugly but probably come across as unfeminine. I also never went clubbing or partying (lots of friends and parties, but just with people I knew, really).

I was going to say I haven’t - I’m 39 - but then all the cat calls came back to me. A lot of “give us a smile love” which quickly morphed into aggression.

The worst was when I was a teenager, in my school uniform, an old man with a stick asked me to help him across the road, tried to grope my breasts as I did so, and then used his walking stick to lift up my skirt as I walked away from him. I was so shocked but mostly embarrassed and ashamed, like I’d done something wrong. Reading some of these I feel lucky that that was the extent of it.

Yeah @MeridaBrave your bar is too high.

I'm 34. I can honestly say I've never had any form of sexual harassment. Including cat calling etc. Saying that I accept I'm a minority

I haven’t. I’m 51. Not overweight or unattractive, but into bodybuilding / weight lifting. Men at gym treat me as one of the gym bros. They compliment me on my muscles or how much I can lift but in the same way that they’d speak to a man.

I work in finance. I’ve had some stupid comments - like when are you having children etc but nothing ever that I felt physically intimately and even the comments could be laughed off (some would describe as harassment but more like colleagues asking when I am having kids etc).

i think it’s because I am very strong (ripped) and I say what I think, so no one would want to risk it? Also I have small breasts and almost always dress in unisex clothes. I don’t think I’m especially unattractive but my hair is in a ponytail I don’t wear make up etc.

the only thing I can think of is some builders wolf whistling at me aged 16 on holiday in Italy? Or in a park and some strange random man was standing on a bridge with his pants around his ankles. But i don’t view these as harassment - maybe my bar is too high.

I had a friend who declared the same. The crucial reason we’re not friends anymore is she dismissed and minimised other women’s experiences as a result of her insistence. It was very much a vibe of “if that counts as sexual assault then I cannot claim to have never been assaulted” and she very strangely started to treat it as part of her personality. It was around the time that “me too” kicked off.

What a load of shit.

What’s wrong with you? You’re a massive part of the problem if you’re actually a woman.

I'm 57.......so many incidents,especially in the 80s/ early 90s... men pushing their erections into your leg in a busy pub...openly squeezing your boobs..Wolf whistling and shouting stuff out of car windows..... I worked behind a bar and the crap I had to put up with was obscene. And was supposed to just laugh it off as it was part of the job....
My daughter is 22 and the shit she's had to put up with is worse.....although she's got a mouth on her so retaliates very quickly!

I have a theory that all male driving instructors are pervs

Probably not helped by the fact that 70s/80s porno 'storylines' often featured said driving instructors shagging their way through willing and compliant young girls. Up there with bored housewives and visiting tradesmen.

I’m sorry that happened to you and sorry you had to carry it around for so long without support. I hope you have found your own healing over the years.

To the poster that said “<women> should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves” ?!? Are you mentally unwell?!

Too many times to list them all but started at 12 - flashed at once, much older guy put his hand on my knee! All the other people in the train carriage looked out the window. I hit him with my umbrella.

Hand up my skirt. Boobs grabbed - both day time wearing boring clothes.

Wanked at late at night walking down street. More flashers etc. etc.

Im not remotely attractive but I do have big boobs so that might be part of it. I think some men think that the accident of genetics means you’re more up for it.

Several much older married guys at work coming onto me and touching me inappropriately.

Maybe the creepiest was the guy that came up to me in the park and whispered in my ear he’d been loving looking up my skirt for the last hour.

I know someone who’s much prettier than me blonde and slimmer - she says it’s never happened to her. Maybe they think she’s more untouchable but the uglier women are more desperate??? Or I look more sexual because of the boobs? Or maybe she is better at giving keep off vibes?

IDK but it’s one of the best things about being older - strangers no longer do it although some acquaintances still try their luck occasionally.

I wonder if they know how much we despise them.

Sexual harassment isn't just supposed sexual compliments, it is also harassment on the grounds of your sex. Abuse about your appearance can also be sexual harassment. Yelling "You ugly bitch" at women for example.

Men sexually harass women because they can

Absolutely, power, dominance, control, looking for a dopamine hit.

A woman my age (64) most probably has experienced sexual abuse. In my youth it wasn't thought of as SA, it was quite usual to be pinched or grabbed or subjected to a mouthful of filth. I can think of lots of incidents where I was groped, including in the middle of Marks and Spencer, at football matches several times, on the bus and train. A family friend who ran a pub said one of the regulars used to try to lift up her top to see her bra. It was rife in the 60s and 70s.

To be fair, my driving instructor was male and not in the least bit pervy. And dd's instructor was also a man, recommended to her by a number of her female friends - don't think he ever did anything untoward.

I don't think attractiveness is a factor either.
Men sexually harass women because they can. So any woman will do.

I actually sometimes think that if I'd actually said "alright then" to any of the many men who have suggested over the years that I might like to give them a blow job as I walked along minding my own business, that an awful lot of them would actually not have wanted to go through with it. The point was to embarrass and to show their superiority. They had no interest in me as an actual person.

Yep my own brother, my FIL plenty of unwanted harassment on the streets. More aghast given how common it is that women still rush to NAMALT it is so hard to defend.

I think low level sexual harassment has become so normalised that it's just accepted.
I also think women consciously or unconsciously do change their behaviour to avoid incidents where sexual harassment might happen.

I can see that both of these things might be true for your friend.

A really basic low level example that springs to mind is that most secondary school girls will wear shorts under their skirts because they know some of the boys will try to look up them.

An example of changing your behaviour is not to go out at night, or to take a different route home, or to avoid a pub where you see there is a group of raucous men.

I don’t believe there are woman who haven’t experienced this because it started when I was in the last year of primary school in my school uniform. At 13 a vicar drove me home and whispered to me with a look in his eye that my body could drive a man to rape. Men have said revolting things to me when I was heavily pregnant. It still happens even though I am an overweight menopausal old hag.

It has nothing to do with how attractive you are or perceived to be. I agree with others that there are woman who brush this stuff away to lightly or believe it to be a compliment.