To think almost every woman in the world has suffered some form of sexual harassment by age 30?

39 and nope, never experienced any kind of harrasment.
I am ugly as hell though, always been so that’s the reason for me. I’m suprised that if so many women have so many horrible situations they still want a male partner, seem like such an unnessary risk…. Like don’t get me wrong, I’ve been heart broken up of how much (well only thing) looks matter and know men are shallow beyond words, but I’ve never been nervous or scared because of them.

There’s zero excuse for it. Somehow I manage to go about my day without shouting obscenities at teenage boys minding their own business 🙄.

As a man, I’ve experienced my fair share of what would be considered harassment especially from older women on nights out and in workplaces.

But also from sleazy men.

However, I’m a man and capable of handling myself. It’s different in that I’m unlikely to be seriously harmed.

It’s a scary world out there and I’ve no idea why some men cannot contain themselves. Reading some of these stories is gut wrenching.

Me, I've no idea why.

100% agree. If any woman has got to 30 (or even 25) and never been sexually harassed, catcalled, or sexually assaulted, she is very fortunate. Happened to me when I was 15 the first time. (Groped and pushed against the wall by a 43 year old man, then grabbed and pushed around and sexually assaulted.) He told me if I told anyone, they would't believe me and he'd tell everyone I am just a little slag, who was happy to go aong with it.

Sexual harrassment and catcalls didn't stop til I hit my mid 40s. (And on several more occasions, sexual assaults.) One of the best things about getting older (in my mid 50s now) is not being harassed by men.

.

They are not. They are worse. Sorry to say.

It was almost normalised when I was a teenager in the 70s. The white van man was definitely a thing! I've had all these sorts of things happen to me...I'm appalled you had this in the 2000s as I honestly thought men knew better by then! I sincerely hope things are better these days!

I have conceded, after being quite vigorously attacked, that I am wrong about what I originally said. I have no idea why I haven't been hassled, and it is pointless to think about it. I was trying to answer the question in the original OP: 'And if you are that rare person, like my friend who's never been harassed, tell me why you think that is'. My speculation really angered people, so I apologised.

I never meant to victim blame.

I actually was very upset when I was young because men didn't seem to recognise me as female. I had no boys or men harass me which was great, but I also never had any boy or man want to go on a date or flirt with me, which was upsetting by the time I got to age 24. I have to conclude that these things are unrelated. I was not harassed because I was lucky not to meet harassers, and I had no interest from reasonable men because there was something repulsive about me.

Does not apply if they are visibly injured in front of you dd2 assisted an elderly man who fell and cut his head the other day obviously that’s different

@Fearlesssloth

There was a similar thread a while ago and one post has stayed with me, it was a woman who said, I have never been sexually assaulted, I did have a boyfriend try to have sex with me when I was asleep, I don't know what you would call that?

I said I would call it attempted rape because that is what it was.

I’ve told my girls that all rules of politeness end with men they don’t know. And there is no reason that any decent adult male would approach a teenage girl or young woman for any sort of assistance. Any unknown man speaking to them needs to be treated with extreme caution and rudeness.

Or by 20, even.

This. Very sad it still continues now.

I'm not attractive, don't wear makeup, jeans/t-shirts/walking boots type.

Teenage

• on holiday age 13 there was a waiter who'd pinch all the teenage girls bums and we were all too embarrassed to tell our parents
• First job age 16 there was a man who visited for work every 6 weeks - 'befriended' me, super nice, but would sexually joke and make comments while touching my legs. I really liked him, now see it as him grooming me.
• Age 18 on a bus man 'reading a newspaper' next to me, kept 'accidentally' dropping the paper down to touch up my thigh/groin.

And it carried on all my life with incidents of being flashed at, groped, followed, inappropriate comments. Too depressing to list them all but to conclude:

In my 50s
Walking across a car park two laughing men shouted 'piss flaps' at me and swerved their car straight at me, forcing me to jump aside.

Went to a free trial day at a local gym) spa. A man got in the large jacuzzi with me and kept rubbing my legs with his feet. At first I thought it was accidental so moved away. He followed me the whole way round the jacuzzi, repeatedly doing it. I threatened to punch him if he did it again, got out, complained at reception, they didn't give a shit. Wouldn't even take a description of him. Implied I was inventing it as that sort of thing didn't happen there.

Now I'm 60 I hope it stops but if not, I'm going to punch first and ask questions later. Fuck this shit.

Quote function failed. The 'places' quote was from @Greenfinch7's post.

There are no 'places where men are unlikely to harass women'. Except places where there are no men.

Claiming you've escaped because of the places you've been or not been and the way you act implies that other women have been less guarded, less careful.

You've been lucky, and I'm glad for you. But it is luck, and only luck.

I walk like the ground has mortally offended me. I have a naturally unapproachable face to the extent that even my mother tells me to smile. I mostly wear jeans and a jacket (in a few of the examples below I was in standard prfoessional office wear, or other clothes that will be obvious from the context).

Places I have been harassed, flashed or assaulted (I'm excluding 'mild' stuff like catcalling or we'd be here all day) include:

• primary school.classroom
• secondary school classrooms and corridors.
• walking to and from school
• busy city streets in broad daylight
• a main road in a snowstorm, dressed for the weather
• trains in the middle of the day
• railway stations - both in daytime and after dark
• an open-plan office
• the staircase of an office building
• a ballroom dance class
• a conference hall (with conference in progress)
• the beach
• and yes, a bar - while I was sitting with friends and wearing normal daytime.clothes

Places I have not been assaulted:

• walking home through deserted streets and past emptying clubs at 3am
• in clubs, despite wearing little more than underwear in some of them.

Do I conclude women are unlikely to be assaulted in clubs, if they dance and smile a lot and wear very little, or that they're safe if they only go out alone between 3am and 6am? No. That would be ridiculous.I conclude I was lucky.

I think your friend in unusual. I've had what I think is 'standard' levels:
Cat calling (esp when im school uniform, gross)
Comments on the street (even when pushing a pram, yuck)
Groped several times (gigs, public transport)
Would have been assaulted in a club but thank god my friend came by and stopped it.

None of this has made me a fearful person, I think it was normalised in my youth. Im glad that there is less tolerance of this now. We were told thats just the way it is... but now quite rightly, it is being challenged.

I think you see even on this thread quite a lot of women who say they haven't had it or claim that stuff I'd call harassment isn't harassment because they weren't bothered by it.

If someone genuinely hasn't experienced it or has been oblivious then that's absolutely fine and in a way, quite heartening. But if it's because the person is minimising it, that's where a feel a little frustrated.

It's been quite a long journey to get police and CPS to treat indecent exposure (flashing) as the sexual crime it is. People later convicted of rape often start off with lower level crimes like this. So to minimise it just because you don't think it was targeted to you or you weren't bothered, especially if you don't report it, isn't brave, it's putting other women at risk.

I think as well we have a journey to go on with misogynistic jokes and "banter". Often it's the thin end of the wedge for those who are later found to have committed crimes against women. Look at Trump (who a judge deemed has committed sexual assault, whatever he says) saying he "grabs them by the pussy" then discounting it as "locker room talk". Look at Wayne Couzens who "joked" with colleagues about sexual assault and rape. Apparently the phrase they liked was a "struggle snuggle". 🤮

So while you might not be offended by the guy who openly looks at your tits in the workplace, cracks misogynistic jokes or even flashes you, this kind of thing is part of a culture where women are seen by some men as prey or "fair game". It's about time all of us challenge that and I include men who do so the least IME.

I don't mind wolf whistles and nice compliments. I don't like being stalked, stared at in a rapey way or a way designed to make me embarrassed, having a man expose an erection to me at work (in a public place), being looked at like a piece of meat by male co workers (I'm talking staring at my V if I'm wearing jeans, staring openly at my tits etc), men following me, attempted sexual assaults, being flashed (in school uniform) or waking up having stayed over a friends place to a man I didn't like and barely knew next to me (STARING at me) (this happened three times, three different men). Yeah I don't like that. And no I don't know a SINGLE woman this hasn't happened to. It has nothing to do with being pretty. I think your friend just got super super lucky.

I do know a few women who claim the same. Without exception they’ve all had very sheltered rural upbringings and never really been anywhere or lived in cities etc. Think the type who still call their parents mummy and daddy when they’re 48. If all you know is going to an all girls boarding school
and then looking after your horses for the rest of your life on the family estate it’s possible I suppose.

Sadly, I think you’re YANBU to specify the age of 30. I think it’s by 20 or maybe even earlier.

I grew up in the 80’s/90’s and was sexually harassed/assaulted regularly on nights out and harassed walking through town in the day. It was normal.

Neither of my DDs (both in their twenties) have had any thing like that. They put it down to it being a different time and while they did go out a bit at uni it was usually in mixed sex groups and they stopped going out drinking in their early twenties . Whereas me and my friends (girls) went out 2 or 3 nights a week from 15 years old for around 10 years.

Groped at 16 by an old man in my Saturday job and constantly asked out by him. Flashed a couple of times and the usual wolf whistles. All this in the 80s and 90s.