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Original poster

Cards, private or not?

93 replies

impatientfury · 04/05/2026 08:14

Not something I have a bee in my bonnet about, just a thought really.

MIL turned up for son's birthday yesterday and within 5 minutes, told us she was going to go and read the cards (in the living room, we were all in the kitchen). It is also our anniversary and SS 18th birthday v shortly so a mix of cards out.

I just wondered if you would consider cards a free for all or private? To my mind, they could have sentimental words meant for you personally in them, for instance our anniversary cards. And I guess the answer would be not to display them, but this is our home, I'm not pinning them to a notice board on the village green, I should be able to put a card on the window cill from my husband? I guess I just find it slightly intrusive, to not even check first? Am I weird?

Probably stems from the fact I find her very unaware of herself. We get on very well but she is quite oblivious at times.

Anyway, cards, private or free-for-all?

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 04/05/2026 09:48

impatientfury · 04/05/2026 09:04

Yeah I agree, it's almost oddly nosy isn't it. Im finding the people that do do this seem to be responding quite aggressively so maybe that tells me something in itself.

Show quote history

I wouldn't be offended if someone did so but I'd be a bit surprised? Like what's the point kind of thing?

Sidebeforeself · 04/05/2026 09:45

impatientfury · 04/05/2026 08:39

Or, another thought way to look at it is that everyone is different and that you don't need to be condescending just because you don't agree.

Show quote history

Wow! Woke up snippy this morning did we?!

blackpooolrock · 04/05/2026 09:40

If they are on display in a living room or such like they are open to be read by anyone. Keep them in the bedroom if you don't want them read by anyone else.

MoaningLeeeeesa · 04/05/2026 09:39

I think it’s really rude to read people’s private messages. I don’t care if they’re on display or not.
The very point of a greetings card is that you can stand it up somewhere and look at it for a few days. You shouldn’t have to hide it away for fear of nosey visitors thinking they have a right to read it.

Littlebitpsycho · 04/05/2026 09:23

I think if anyone read the cards my OH and I write to each other they'd die of embarrassment and certainly wouldn't read them going forward 😅

Shecameshesawandsheconquered · 04/05/2026 09:20

I was always told you look with your eyes, not your hands. If you need to pick it up, that’s nosey.

WellThatsAlrightThen · 04/05/2026 09:17

It is a strange thing to do and really wouldn’t be interesting to me. I’d look at the front if I was in the room but wouldn’t go out of my way to see them and certainly not pick them up.

ShanghaiDiva · 04/05/2026 09:07

i think it’s rude and a bit odd. Would never occur to be to read someone else’s cards.

Original poster
impatientfury · 04/05/2026 09:04

BillieWiper · 04/05/2026 09:01

I've never known someone to read cards on display?! Like why would it be interesting? They're primarily just going to say 'Happy birthday bob, love some rando' or be soppy and cringe for a stranger to read so I just wouldn't bother really. It's about the pictures on the front of the card isn't it?

Yeah I agree, it's almost oddly nosy isn't it. Im finding the people that do do this seem to be responding quite aggressively so maybe that tells me something in itself.

OP posts:
OttersOnAPlane · 04/05/2026 09:03

On display in a room you have family and friends in? Public.
Put up in a bedroom? Private.

I mean, the punchline is on the inside, right?

ZenNudist · 04/05/2026 09:02

Cards on display are not private. Not sure what heartfelt message could be.

KeeleyJ · 04/05/2026 09:02

I would be happy for my Mum to look at cards I've displayed and therefore by default, my kids other Granny would be treated the same.

BillieWiper · 04/05/2026 09:01

I've never known someone to read cards on display?! Like why would it be interesting? They're primarily just going to say 'Happy birthday bob, love some rando' or be soppy and cringe for a stranger to read so I just wouldn't bother really. It's about the pictures on the front of the card isn't it?

OrdinaryGirl · 04/05/2026 09:00

Cooshawn · 04/05/2026 08:19

It is absolute lunacy to complain about people looking at things that you've put on display.

This would be my view I think. Plus she’s MIL, she’s family 🤷🏼‍♀️ I would fully expect anyone to look at cards I had displayed in my sitting room. I know you probably don’t feel like this OP but to me it’s a nice thing that she’s interested. And happy anniversary btw! 💐

2Rebecca · 04/05/2026 08:57

On display means the outside is on display. I don’t expect people to pick up my stuff and open it. Fine look at the pictures but keep your hands off

Sleepybear1234 · 04/05/2026 08:57

It's rude in my opinion fine to look at the front that's why they are on display but not to read the personal message inside I don't even know why someone would read it x

2Rebecca · 04/05/2026 08:55

I think cards are private and reading other people’s cards is rude

shuddacuddadidnt · 04/05/2026 08:55

It would never even occur to me to read the inside of anyone's cards.

Renter2026 · 04/05/2026 08:54

impatientfury · 04/05/2026 08:14

Not something I have a bee in my bonnet about, just a thought really.

MIL turned up for son's birthday yesterday and within 5 minutes, told us she was going to go and read the cards (in the living room, we were all in the kitchen). It is also our anniversary and SS 18th birthday v shortly so a mix of cards out.

I just wondered if you would consider cards a free for all or private? To my mind, they could have sentimental words meant for you personally in them, for instance our anniversary cards. And I guess the answer would be not to display them, but this is our home, I'm not pinning them to a notice board on the village green, I should be able to put a card on the window cill from my husband? I guess I just find it slightly intrusive, to not even check first? Am I weird?

Probably stems from the fact I find her very unaware of herself. We get on very well but she is quite oblivious at times.

Anyway, cards, private or free-for-all?

My mother would come in and read all my birthday cards inside and out. That’s why I have to hide half my cards from my close girl friends before she arrives as some are rather rude (the cards, not what’s written inside)!

Adelle79360 · 04/05/2026 08:50

I imagine it’s an age thing? Reading cards is definitely something people do but I don’t think younger people do really.

It wouldn't bother me but I’m wondering what people write in birthday cards for 5 year olds that would be so private?!

HoppityBun · 04/05/2026 08:48

Not sure. I understand why you feel this is intrusive, but I’m embarrassed to admit that I think that I have looked at people’s cards that were on display.

WolfDaysOfMoon · 04/05/2026 08:44

No, I don’t go into relatives’ homes and assume I can pick up and handle their personal possessions and read what’s inside them, simply because they are visible.

Where does it end? Address books? Journals? Work files? Keep your beak out of my stuff. Ask first.

ShouldIJustKeepQuiet · 04/05/2026 08:39

I’d look at them if it was a family member, a friend or acquaintance I wouldn’t look.

Original poster
impatientfury · 04/05/2026 08:39

Dollymylove · 04/05/2026 08:37

Every day is a school day on mumsnet 🤣

Or, another thought way to look at it is that everyone is different and that you don't need to be condescending just because you don't agree.

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 04/05/2026 08:37

Every day is a school day on mumsnet 🤣