The only way to overcome anxiety is through exposure

And again much of the confusion on this thread is because anxiety is a symptom and not a disorder as it is often spoken of. Obviously the treatment of ‘anxiety’ due to PTSD is not the same as for a phobia or GAD.

For the person who asked about exposure in GAD this requires more of the C bit of CBT ie cognitive restructuring and the exposure is more mental eg learning to tolerate uncertainty in general.

Even therapy for PTSD is exposure in a way but obviously not to the trauma itself rather to the memory so that it can be processed. I have had CBT and EMDR for PTSD myself and it was effective in combination with medication. My money is where my mouth is.

The idea that CBT approaches do not work for people with ASD is increasingly being touted despite there actually being plenty of evidence to the contrary. Some adaptations are required but the basic approach has been shown to work.

I am a bit sick of people influencing others to believe that it won’t so that they don’t even try. CBT is what is available on the NHS and the UK gov has no interest in investing to change that so it’s pretty crap to put people with no money off the only
intervention they are likely to actually get.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39805042/

It can be counterproductive, it depends on the circumstances. With social anxiety, for example, exposing yourself to a huge group of arseholes won’t help. Generally it’s best to ease yourself in and if you need to have someone with you for support then do that. I agree it’s the only real way through though. Even with CBT (which I personally didn’t find effective), they set weekly challenges to socialise or get outside bit by bit for agoraphobia.

Anxiety is very complex, it depends what it’s about, what’s caused it etc. I’ve had anxiety and depression for over 25 years (diagnosed at 19) and while CBT was useful, medication has been the life changer for me. But I was always “functional” in the sense I got up in a morning, went to work etc. I’ve had “moderate” depression and anxiety but never extreme.

Technically ASD and ADHD are not mental health issues/disorders.

They are developmental as in they are present throughout life.

in many areas cahms will not accept refferals if a child has autism or adhd as the therapies considered appropriate for an NT child are rarely effective with an ND child.

Autism and adhd are under diagnosed in this country and the diagnosis process which is robust with a high bar has zilch to do with this thread.

Access to treatment is based on need not
diagnosis and even when diagnosed most don’t get anything. Those accessing any treatment are reducing not increasing.

I've become increasingly sceptical of the views of the various professional therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists working in the last few years. Because whatever it is they are saying/doing... its not working!
Instead we have:

• more and more kids diagnosed
• more and more kids requiring therapies
• more and more kids school refusing
• more and more young people "failing to launch"
• more and more people unable to work

I'm unconvinced that a lot of what is recommended by psychologists and psychiatrists is leading to proven better outcomes. We are spending more and more on treatments and medication but not seeing reductions in serious mental health problems. I suspect in reality the increase in mental health problems is lining the pockets of a lot of these specialists.

Where I live private psychologists have incredibly high diagnosis rates of things like ASD and ADHD. Pretty much everyone who attends their clinics comes away with a diagnosis, and lots of leading experts have come out and questioned whether the diagnostic criteria have become so broad as to no longer be useful.

What incentive is there for these professionals to push for more specific diagnostic criteria? None - if they did that there would be less demand for their services. To be clear i do not doubt that these professionals have best intentions, they want people who are struggling to receive support, but is it really helping?

I’m not sure why you assumed my comment was directed at you? I’d already apologised further up and acknowledged that you of all people have an absolute right to anxiety based on your past trauma!

I get snapped at and ĺooked at like I have two heads when I suggest this to owners of anxious dogs.

The post I was quoting became detached from my reply, but I was replying to @Achi11ia who had misunderstood @WinterBlues26 post at 10:16

Honestly this thread had so many parallel side-arguments on it, it is pretty difficult to follow.

I don’t have a husband and my other half doesn’t live with me.

Except the exact opposite has happened. People pulling the OP up have read the post & others seem to be responding based on what they think the OP must have meant, rather than what was actually written.

“I'm here, reading posts. I just won't engage with posts attacking me and defending myself.“

Ah so you start an inflammatory, incorrect and ignorant thread and won’t respond to others calling you out on it even though you have attacked and belittled others who struggle with a debilitating condition.

Sadly posters today seem to not want to read a post properly, get right royally offended and argue! I guess being a bank holiday they’re cooped up with their appalling husbands who are in for it next!!!

Sadly it triggered some posters taking it as a personal attack when it wasn't at all.

You said:

I guess many parents don't have the skills to help their children

The question is whether parents actually want to learn how to help their kids or do they indeed believe it's not their responsibility?

On a thread with a lot of parents explaining how they are trying to help their DC.

Then her thread should have been titled:

The only way to overcome feeling nervous as part of normal life is through exposure.

I’ve tried. Multiple times.

im also autistic with adhd and it’s interesting that much of the trauma therapy is less efficacious in people with those sort of developmental presentations.

This!

My son is very likely autistic (under neurology and neuropsychology. Documented on paperwork by professionals but awaiting final diagnosis, I say this because I know how sceptical Mumsnet is of parents stating this) yet very intelligent. He has a low tolerance for anxiety so we need to be very careful because if he has a meltdown the setback is HUGE! So there's a whole art to knowing when to push and when to step back.

You can expose yourself slowly to an anxiety trigger because you have an awareness of your own feelings but it's much trickier to push another person. Imagine if say your trigger was spiders and you yourself could slowly be in the room with 1, then approach 1, then months later you could pick one up. But I stead you're a child and your protests are dismissed and at the point where you'd be able to manage being in the same room with a spider your adult just plonked one on your hand and held your hand so you had to hold it. Do you think that would effectively improve things?

So my son had to stop swimming and football lessons because despite our best efforts he'd end up curled in a ball screaming on the floor. Even trying his hardest, even though he loved the activity itself. So we pulled back. We kept him home, we didn't do any drop off activities from age 6, then we started going to an ASN activity where I could stay but they had coaches, he got comfortable with them. Then he asked to try another sport which didn't have an ASN option so we signed up. I went with him. He sat at the side for the first session. The second session he talked to the coaches, now he jumps out of the car and runs in, we go get coffee then pick him up. But that's taken almost 3 years. And the stopping altogether was part of getting to this point.

People who judge parents muddling through their kids atypical responses really annoy me because sometimes it looks like I'm just letting my son get his own way but I'm following strategies set up by a multi professional medical team over the course of several years.

My 4 yr old daughter is extremely compliant, loves a drop off and faces all fears head on with bugger all input needed. If I only had her I'd judge the parent parenting my son oo maybe

I think the majority of people who suffer from anxiety will not kill themselves. That's an extreme reaction to anxiety. However self harm as an solution to get out of situations that are triggering is an option that often works.

The Psychology behind anxiety and how an anxious person manipulates the people around them is fascinating as this thred shows.

How can you be any sort of professional in this field when you haven’t recognised (much less acknowledged or suggested approaches that might help me) that my response to you on this thread is part of my trauma response? That you’ve made my anxiety spike so high by ansking me what my triggers are that I have engaged in maladaptive coping mechanisms?

You have completely misunderstood that poster’s point (or just not read it, in your rush to argue with her).

She was saying that occasionally feeling a bit nervous is part of normal life, and should be worked through, and that clinical anxiety is a very different thing.

CBT and SSRIs absolutely doesn’t work for all with social, GAD etc and often not for those with autism have you even bothered to read the thread.

Avoidance and planning, limiting anxieties is very much preferable for many like my dd.

Ok, so engaging:

firstly your title says that the “only” way to overcome anxiety is through exposure.

this is not correct there are several therapeutic modalities for anxiety only one of which is exposure.

others have already been mentioned on the thread - CBT, EMDR etc.

secondly anxiety is a symptom of many many health conditions mental or otherwise - eg autism (not a MH issue it’s classed as a developmental condition) or ptsd (moved out of anxiety disorders and into trauma based disorders.

to make your statement even appropriately correct it could be more along the lines of:

exposure therapy is one of a number of treatments for anxiety disorders where no other developmental or mental health disorder is present.

but that’s not nearly so rage bait is it?

I am particularly concerned about the rise in anxiety, especially anxiety that relates to every day activities that would normally be considered part of normal life.

Phobias, generalised anxiety disorder and situational worry are all different things. As such, they’re diagnosed differently.

Clinically significant anxiety isn’t just “normal worry about everyday life”. It’s when the intensity, duration & impact on functioning go beyond what’s proportionate and starts affecting a person’s daily living.

So if there’s a rise in diagnosed anxiety disorders, that’s not the same as people being medically labelled for ordinary worries.

It is not believable you have professional knowledge of these facts and are still maintaining your position. In fact, if you were coming at this from a professional angle, why does your OP reference your personal experience, which would surely be far less significant than your repeated professional experiences.