The only way to overcome anxiety is through exposure

Absolutely. Anxiety is very treatable. I share your experience, I had bad anxiety for many years, but managed to deal with this through exposure.
But this requires effort, in many cases a huge one, from the person who suffers it.

And this is the essence of the problem - people figured out that they can get away with making no effort and get PIP, so now we have endemic of anxieties which over years do become disabilities.

You are correct. We are wrapping our DC in cotton wool and keep feeding their anxiety. It's going to be a disaster when they reach adulthood and are expected to just get on with it .

Yanbu. I dealt with a long standing dental phobia using controlled exposure. So effective that I am now having orthodontics having been able to sort the root canals. Looking forward to having lovely teeth after 50 years!

I think it is true, up to a point.

On the outside you can look and say 'they aren't doing X Y Z they should face up to things and do them', but what you aren't seeing is they are already doing 'A B and C' that freak them out and use up all their capacity.

That's how it is for us with our DD anyway. She is pushing and pushing herself and over time achieves more but it probably isn't fast enough for judging onlookers.

Yes exposure helps to resolve anxiety but, there’s a very fine balance to be struck between supported exposure and someone becoming overwhelmed and being unable to cope in the moment. If pushed beyond their capacity to cope, people remember how awful/out of control they felt and become anxious about feeling anxious which can then spiral very quickly.

It’s not just a case of keeping putting someone into situations that make them anxious, it’s scaffolding support around them to hold them below their level of tolerance, being able to debrief and embed the memory of being able to cope with X and being able to titrate that exposure in a manageable way. That’s the bit that supports resilience, not being repeatedly exposed and being told you’ll cope.

CONTROLLED exposure!

The person has to be supported and it needs to be a situation assessed as safe!

We live near a stables and one field has a public footpath running through. I wouldn’t walk someone anxious about horses through it!

I do think we underestimate how much care it takes to help DC through various challenges. And how much the exposure needs to continue if the success is to be maintained.

I think you are correct in how to overcome it but it also very, very hard to do. Doubly so if it’s your child because it’s hard to see them in such a state.

Just to add going to the office was optional for 5 years but now it’s compulsory and I’m glad it is for that 1 day 🤣

I agree to an extent but I believe anxiety has layers and it can be more complex than that. There can be multiple causes. It can also be extreme and causes physical issues. It’s really hard for parents to see their children experience extreme anxiety and then throw them into the lions den.

In my experience your method works for me, I am socially anxious with low self esteem but you’d never be able to tell. Everyone thinks I am confident and friendly. I mask a lot. I think I was born this way 🤣 Going back to the office after Covid was hard for me. BUT I now go once a week and it’s so good for me, my confidence has improved. I also got a promotion which forces me to be more well known at work. It was like ripping a plaster off and caused me a lot of stress but I did it and I love my new job.

I always think this is what stopped me becoming so anxiety ridden. I still have the odd moment of panic 25 years later but they are short and I worry more about people around me noticing it!

Totally agree, and I say that as a very anxious person. The worst thing you can do is hide from the world.

I agree. I have an 8yo with extreme anxiety for her age, vomiting, shaking, insomnia and as much as I want her to feel better and take her out of the situations causing it, I have to keep encouraging her to face up to them as what is causing her aniexty is daily life, going back to school after a break, sports competitions, etc so unless I break this cycle how will she cope with working or when a really stressful situation arises.

This is with her and her minor triggers but anyone with a major trauma would need to be dealt with differently & my heart goes out to them

Yanbu.

Absolutely!

My DS has extreme anxiety but if I didn't make him do things he would opt out of life.

Anxieties need to be faced and dealt with. Avoiding them makes life so much harder.