Parent gave my child medicine without my consent

A 10 year old should know whether they can take over the counter painkillers, if not then honestly you've done a bit of a crap job as a parent.

Was there actually any reason why your child shouldn't have ibuprofen, OP? Because, if not, you will sound really petty making a fuss about this poor woman helping your child.

If there was a reason, can't you trust your child to say so? If that's the case, maybe she shouldn't be going on sleepovers at all.

I can't imagine trusting another parent with my child enough to let them sleep over but not to give a dose of minor pain relief to an almost secondary age child.

Mind boggling.

She’s in year 6, I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. I would prob be more concerned that my DD had been ill enough to need medication and the Mum hadn’t messaged me to let me know but wouldn’t mind that she’d had a squirt of nurofen without my consent.

Although I probably would shoot you a quick message telling you I had given the kid the medication, I don't see the problem with this and if you never sent your child over again, I would just shrug and continue to host the other children.

I would have called you first but really wouldn't have been bothered by the situation you have described if I hadn't given specific instructions about what my child can and can't take as medication.

My daughter takes a lot of medication for a chronic illness and I have to be very careful with what type of pain meds she can take so it makes me careful with other people's kids too.

If you don't want your child to be given pain relief by anyone else you need to make it clear.

I'm surprised by previous posters talking about senior school children passing around painkillers at school - my daughter wasn't allowed to carry them with her. The rules were that you sent in a box of paracetamol at the start of term to be kept in a locked box and the child goes to the office to request one. The school then messages you with the time the dose was taken and the reason.

Also to those saying they have given their children access to manage their own pain relief - as someone whose teenager has taken a deliberate overdose of paracetamol in the past ( due to being sick of being in so much physical pain) please don't keep stocks of it around the house. All of our medication is in a locked combination box now and I only keep one box of it at a time to minimise chances of accidental or deliberate overdose. I wish I'd done that before. Thankfully she was ok as "only" took nine tablets but it was still an awful experience and a day and a half in A&E.

You should always ask the parent. I’ve woken up parents before now when we’ve had their child over and they’ve got an earache at 3am. I would never give paracetamol in any case but even for ibuprofen I think it’s a shocking overstep. Some parents do not want their child taking any analgesia (what I personally think of that decision though is neither here nor there!)

Our secondary school asks for a general permission to give medical treatment including paracetamol, asks for any allergies and conditions and then gets on with it. We get a text to say “given paracetamol for headache” not asked or contacted before. Or done this for minor head injury. As in my PP they actually recommend the students carrying and administering their own medication for quickness and ease, like inhalers.

I think you're being ridiculous. It's an off the shelf pain killer. The parent dealt with your 10 yo child's minor issue without bothering you.

Omg. It was ibuprofen, and she's 10. It's fine.

Is this mum a secondary school who is bound by umpteen pieces of legislation and has a strictly legally defined duty of care? Answer: no.

You should have been contacted and asked - even secondary schools will ring and ask permission before giving children medication. I do t think primary schools would give it out at all. I would not make a big deal out of it - if she goes again just say that if child is unwell please ring me to discuss before giving medication

Whats your concern? It was an over the counter pain killer.
I can not see the issue here.
If she had given her a plaster is that ok? She is 10 not 3. Old enought to have a sleepover means your old enough to say what allergies you have or your mum says before you go. What are you worried about? What is the reason your not ok with it? Just a control thing? Or do you have an actual concern about her having it?

I thought I was an ott parent, but it wouldn’t bother me, at 10 kids know what they can and can’t have, mine have. Got one with asthma who thankfully tolerates nurofen well, he’d know I’ve given it to him and at that age would have said my mum gives me nurofen or calpol, also allergies and what they were.

By 11 he was carrying his own inhalers as in senior school they like them to have their own instead of trying to navigate a large space and number of students in an asthma attack. So if your child has medical needs it’s really best to teach them before senior school.

There was probably a conversation between your child and the parent of “do you want to go home/to call mum and what do you have at home if you’re in pain”.

She’s your child’s friends parent. Not a school or an official. Stop being mental.

Not to out there but these days I wouldnt give kids a simply Vit C as really so many are allergic to simply things. Also painkillers can have reactions.
The other mum probably didn't think about it.

Yes that strikes me too. This person actually provided care in the way a parent would yet people are acting like it’s awful that she interfered with their possession or something. What do you think is nicer for a child? Have earache at a sleepover, friends mum gives painkiller, all carries on? Or friends mum totally washes her hands of it, texts mum to come to collect and all the fun is over (and before anyone says anything, there are posts saying that they’d get the parents to collect as they don’t want to deal with someone else’s sick kid)?

Perhaps it was in the middle of the night. Hence no contact.

This^

A 10 year old should know if they have any allergies, and be able to communicate them to other people. It would be very irresponsible not to give your child that level of knowledge.

Im assuming if you have allowed your child to spend the night at somebody else's house, you would know the parents well enough to trust them to medicate your dc when they are in pain with something like calpol. I think I would be more unhappy if my dc wasnt given any pain relief. Having said that, I think the other parent should have told you that your dc wasnt well and had been medicated when you picked her up.

At that age they should definitely know they have an allergy. If it’s a complex allergy then I’d expect parents to explain. I have 5 year olds tell me ‘I can’t have a plaster, I’m allergic’

I wish someone's mum had given me pain relief for my debilitating ear aches and migraines when I was aged 4-10. My mum certainly didn't and just left me weeping and hallucinating.

Are you anti traditional western medicine or something? Or just ridiculously old school like my 80s mum?

The woman cared for your sick child and you're acting like she pushed heroin on her?!

I've a friend who is allergic to ibuprofen..
Very big deal to medicate a child for a minor issue without getting consent from their parent.

Totally. How do you think kids with allergies cope?