Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s a wedding one…

111 replies

PartyOnPlatformOne · 03/05/2026 23:33

What is the etiquette for a UK wedding on who pays for what. The bride & groom or the guests:

  • Bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits
  • Bridesmaids hair and makeup
  • Hotel rooms for guests (if wedding venue is 2+ hours away for most, and in remote location)
OP posts:
Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:53

Opentoconvo · 03/05/2026 23:42

It isn’t normal practice tbh.

If you can’t afford the wedding basics, then don’t get married. Dresses and suits for bridesmaids and groomsmen are basic wedding costs. Otherwise don’t have any.

Show quote history

Only on mumsnet 😂 😂 😂

On what planet should someone not get married, just because they don't have the budget to buy dresses and suits for everyone 😆 ridiculous. Marriage is a union of 2 people in love. It isn't a parade or a show. This is why the wedding industry is ££££££.

Strandas · 03/05/2026 23:47

You don’t need to do the make up. Just say you don’t want it/are allergic to certain brands (any excuse you need!). It’s a shame they’re asking you to pay for the dress, I think they should cover that if they want something particular. I wouldn’t expect them to pay for accommodation though, that’s not the norm.

Original poster
PartyOnPlatformOne · 03/05/2026 23:43

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:37

Depends entirely on the budget for the wedding.

Edited to add that etiquette doesn't trump what someone can actually afford. So just because bridesmaids are expected to pay their own dress/hair/makeup, that doesn't mean the bride is unreasonable.

Edited

I have no idea what their budget is.

Ok so, sorry if a drip feed.

I am a bridesmaid. Expected to pay for my dress £90. I can’t get something cheaper, we all have to match and have the same. My makeup will be £70. Apparently the makeup artist is popular on instagram. Not sure how much hair will be.

I will need to pay for a hotel room, I am a single person so no one to share costs with. Looking up to £200 for the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding. I feel cheeky asking any of my family for lifts as I need to be there early morning for hair and makeup.

I can’t afford this 😪

OP posts:
Opentoconvo · 03/05/2026 23:42

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:39

I have been a bridesmaid for a friend with a tiny wedding budget and bought my own dress. Also dh has been groomsman for more than one person and had to pay own suits/suit hire on more than one occasion. It depends entirely on social circles and budget. In our social circles it's totally fine!

Edited
Show quote history

It isn’t normal practice tbh.

If you can’t afford the wedding basics, then don’t get married. Dresses and suits for bridesmaids and groomsmen are basic wedding costs. Otherwise don’t have any.

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:39

Opentoconvo · 03/05/2026 23:38

The guests never pay for the dresses, suits, hair and makeup- that would be ridiculous!

Guests generally cover their own room if staying.

Show quote history

I have been a bridesmaid for a friend with a tiny wedding budget and bought my own dress. Also dh has been groomsman for more than one person and had to pay own suits/suit hire on more than one occasion. It depends entirely on social circles and budget. In our social circles it's totally fine!

Opentoconvo · 03/05/2026 23:38

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:37

Depends entirely on the budget for the wedding.

Edited to add that etiquette doesn't trump what someone can actually afford. So just because bridesmaids are expected to pay their own dress/hair/makeup, that doesn't mean the bride is unreasonable.

Edited

The guests never pay for the dresses, suits, hair and makeup- that would be ridiculous!

Guests generally cover their own room if staying.

Amba1998 · 03/05/2026 23:38

Bride & Groom pay but not for accom

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 23:37

Depends entirely on the budget for the wedding.

Edited to add that etiquette doesn't trump what someone can actually afford. So just because bridesmaids are expected to pay their own dress/hair/makeup, that doesn't mean the bride is unreasonable.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 03/05/2026 23:35

Imo....if they arent skanks

Bride and groom

  • Bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits
  • Bridesmaids hair and makeup

Guests (possibly subsidised by B&G... but guest shouldn't be paying a premium to subsidise the Bride and groom)

  • Hotel rooms for guests (if wedding venue is 2+ hours away for most, and in remote location)

If they are loaded Bride and groom pay for all 3.

forgivingfiggy · 03/05/2026 23:35

If you are calling the shots on dresses, and hair styling and make up then you need to pay.

You are not required to pay for accommodation.

MrsLFii · 03/05/2026 23:34

Bride and groom
Bride and groom
Could be either but a middle ground might be to subsidise the cost a bit if covering that cost completely is unaffordable. Sounds bloody inconvenient for the guests!

Swipe left for the next trending thread