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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there will be many more disabled adults in 20 years?

655 replies

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 22:04

I’m disabled myself, just to put that out there.

It just seems like the number of people with a disability, usually a psychiatric one, is going through the roof.

40% of disability benefit claimants are claiming for mental health related reasons. The number of anxious children and teens on here, and that I know in my own life and family, is really really high. So many schools refusers and kids in need of extra support, special school placements and so on. It seems there are a lot of unemployed young adults living at home who simply don’t have the mental acuity to get a job, live independently, have a life of their own.

3 children in my family are currently school refusing, one we only found out about today but it was not a surprise as she’s always been very anxious and has selective mutism.

My AIBU is, should we be doing something to prepare for what may be a very high number of adults not working in years to come? How will we sustain them all?

OP posts:
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SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 09:50

I have ptsd anxiety and depression. I was refused disability benefits twice when I was unwell. The dwp told me I was fit to work with a broken shoulder because the legislation says you have to break both limbs. Two years I broke my leg in three places. I was initially told I was fit to work and had to go to tribunal to get disability benefits (for a limited time)
Apparently people just got on with it in the 80s? A relative of mine had schizophrenia and ended his life

CostOfLoving · 04/05/2026 09:49

Applesonthelawn · 04/05/2026 08:21

In the 80's we all carried on working full time in spite of mental health issues. I was undiagnosed autistic and was hospitalised for anorexia in the 80's but went straight back to work and never had a day off. Also suffered selective mutism (not at work). High pressured job, one of very few women (dealing room). But no-one was there to support me so I dragged myself through it (and on to much better things thankfully) despite being near suicidal at many points. I could have ended up in a cardboard box under Hammersmith flyover.
I do think that indulging some of these mental health based claims for income support are unhelpful. What helps is understanding who you are and how to deal with yourself. That comes with long hard work, introspection and self discipline, and is often easier to achieve whilst you are actually doing a job.

You can't carry on working if your employers won't let you.

That's what happened to me. I kept getting fired, repeatedly, despite trying my best to stay in work (especially as my housing depended on it - I did end up homeless).

I didn't know about benefits at first, and when I did it was a case of basic Jobseekers under 25 rate and renting a room in an HMO - really really tight financially.

This was pre 2008 when it was much easier to get work, too.

And I STILL couldn't hold down a job for more than a few weeks.

Quite often employers would be kindly and even offer to accompany me to the GPs to seek (nonexistant) help. But they would point out I clearly wasn't well and couldn't continue in the role.

So it's not just about effort. There has to actually be suitable jobs for the person to do.

TheBlueKoala · 04/05/2026 09:49

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Allisnotlost1 · 04/05/2026 09:48

Charlize43 · 03/05/2026 23:19

I saw a horror film on streaming, Purge something or other - where the government legalised murder for a 24 hour period so in effect all those people who couldn't protect themselves were culled. It was justified as a way to keep taxes low so the population just accepted it.

It was quite horrific, because I could see something like that happening in the future.

I wasn't aware that this is what they did in Germany in the 30s, euthanise the infirm, disabled and unemployed because they were a drain on society. I think they did this before they even started on the Jews. That part of the Holocaust is often overlooked.

Global warming, migration, less resources, - all terrifying.

I've read about governments introducing UBI but it is never clear how or who funds that?

I knew mental illness and disability were reasons some Germans and others were consigned to the death camps, I didn’t know about the pre-Holocaust murdering, have looked it up and it’s called Aktion T4, I’m going to read more. Thanks for teaching me something new (and horrific).

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 09:45

SemperIdem · 03/05/2026 23:25

I think a huge issue is the closure of SEN schools. There simply are not enough. One of my older cousins went to a SEN school in the 80’s/90’s. Now in her mid 40’s, she has been able to work her entire adult life. She is not very severely intellectually disabled but she is impacted to a not insignificant degree.

Children have for some time now, been put through an education that overwhelms them right from the get go. A mainstream school doesn’t and will never have the time to spend teaching children with disabilities whether they’re physical, intellectual or both, the skills they need to feel confident in becoming part of the workforce. So they are not becoming part of it.

The rise of mental health issues in the anxiety space I think are separate and related to screens/social media.

Completely agree with this. My DD is a teacher. In her first school she had 31 students, 5 of whom were high needs SEN. These 5 children ruined every lesson as they were so disruptive. Just keeping them under control took all her time. And of course, this meant that the other 26 were left to complete tasks with very little supervision. No one wins here. Not the SEN children, not the other children and certainly not my DD, who came home most nights and cried with exhaustion.

She moved abroad and now works in a SEN school. She has around 8 pupils in the class. She now LOVES her job, as she can give these children the attention they need (and deserve). In reality it's closer to babysitting than teaching, as these children are never going to work.

ChavsAreReal · 04/05/2026 09:43

Anyone who's worked for the NHS will be aware that some staff arent fit for work until their sick pay (full pay) runs out.

Then they magically become well enough.

The question of adults not being "well enough " to work is far from black and white.

researchers3 · 04/05/2026 09:43

youalright · 03/05/2026 22:09

I think if the nhs keeps getting worse and people keep having children at an older age then yes.

Young people can't afford kids and increasingly most people won't be able to afford kids.

Britainisgreat · 04/05/2026 09:43

I haven't worked since I was 18. Been on sickness benefits with nerves and depression since then so 48 years, just transferred to pension. Haven't had a bad life, got married still and wife worked so I looked after two kids. Grand-kids now.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 09:42

Lack of jail time. That's because prisons are full. Also. Governments are looking at diversions from prosecution. There are lots of reasons why people offend. Locking people up and throwing away the key isn't always the answer

x2boys · 04/05/2026 09:41

SlumChum · 04/05/2026 09:35

I do see what you are saying, and it has more weight than my opinion as you are a teacher seeing this first hand. Would you say it requires the delivery of the same curriculum but in different settings? The trouble I've seen is that specialist provision seems to lump together disabled children regardless of behavioural issues, and there's no way a quiet autistic child can learn when surrounded by the anxiety inducing stimulus of distressed children. But I also see parents homeschooling and their children are not being challenged enough either educationally or socially.

What kind of specialists settings have you been in?
My youngest son is severly autistic with severe learning disabillitis
His special school caters for children ,with severe and ptofound learning disabilities.

Lifesd · 04/05/2026 09:39

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:26

Unless the country does change and becomes a ‘can do’ ‘can work’ one we are in for a rough ride.
There is only so much money that can be given out. And only so much non work that a society can handle.

The UK is definitely in a productivity crisis - I read somewhere recently that we are 20% less productive than the US and the guy who was talking about it was comparing UK and US students and said the drive was totally different. College students there wanted to start businesses and create things whereas in the UK the mindset was totally different. Productivity drives growth which powers the economy and unless things change it does point towards a grim future.

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:38

I think universities need a new business model. Tony Blair made people believe nearly every child would benefit and could and should go to University. I disagree. It has caused debt, ( not for vice chancellors mind who get paid masses), and stress for people who in the past would not have gone. But who would have been a lot happier doing something else.
Saturday jobs. Seem to have disappeared. And they were a good stepping stone into the world of work. They need to come back. Yes, they may need to change the tax credit system to do it. The massive wage subsidy to employers needs to wither on the vine.

There is an awful lot that can be done. But a can do attitude is needed. That or the country sinks compared to other nations. We won’t keep up.

x2boys · 04/05/2026 09:37

suburburban · 04/05/2026 09:27

The YTS wasn’t a bad thing

I do think there is a lack of work ethic in some families and agree that my dps wouldn’t have tolerated school refusal or not working long term

also there are companies making a lot of money out of disability

Im of an age where i remember YTS i didnt do one but knew many people did
As i recall it was hit and miss
Some kids were lucky and got a great company and got tsken on some were not
My 19 year old is leaving education in a few weeks hes desoerate to work im desperate for him to work ,but there are not load ,s of jobs
Hes just coming to the end of a 19 week work experience placement
The compsny have said they would take him on if they could but theres no jobs right now.

JMAngel1 · 04/05/2026 09:36

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 09:11

I think this is a very interesting question. My thoughts:

Of course, there are people with mental health disorders. However, I do think that we have people claiming to have anxiety or mental health disorders, when they don't. It's a get out of jail free card, especially at work : "You can't make me do that, because I suffer with X"

Invisible illnesses - anyone can claim "I have it", and you can't disagree. My sister has a pal with ME. She doesn't work, doesn't do anything at home, like cooking or cleaning, literally nothing - her DH does it all. However, at the weekend she can cut up a dance floor until 3am.

Too much soft parenting - means a lack of resilience in people. At 16, I was working full time and paying board. If I had told my parents I didn't want to work, and my plan was to play video games all day, I would have been given a clip around the ear and a boot up the arse - no way would that fly. Same if I had refused school - would have been marched through the door.

People having children too late. We all know that under age 35 is optimum. Once you go over that, you have much more chance of having children who have certain disorders. Why is this never mentioned? And this goes for men too, as sperm deteriorates as the man gets older, yet we regularly see 50 year old men getting women pregnant.

Ultra processed foods - why are we feeding our children utter shite and then wondering why they aren't thriving? Same goes for people not eating well in pregnancy.

Violent video games - why are we letting little boys play video games, where they are shooting shit up and murdering people? Do we not see how this is going to fuel aggression and put violent ideas into little heads.

Social media - dreadful for young people, because everyone looks like they're doing better than you/having more fun/are thinner or prettier (filters).

Lack of jail terms for offenders. If you do the crime, do the time. No early release. For really bad crimes, lethal injection.

That was a bit of a ramble and I've gone hugely off topic!

Edited

You need to run for government - most sensible post I’ve read on here ever.

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 09:35

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 23:08

I think they should buy up buildings in each major town/city to renovate into small, 1 bedroom flats. I think a lot of these kids as adults will simply spend their lives on computer games and tablets and just need adequate lodgings and basic needs met.

Who is "they"?

I cannot believe that you think this is the answer. WTF!

SlumChum · 04/05/2026 09:35

ClawsandEffect · 04/05/2026 09:25

But it doesn't though. Imagine a dyslexic child without support. Sitting in lesson after lesson they can't access because they struggle with reading and writing. They are not being given the same opportunity.

I understand why education is so inflexible. I'm a teacher. There is no way one poor teacher can cater to the individual when they teach 300 children on rotation every 2 weeks. BUT it doesn't alter the fact that education is closed to many, many children.

I do see what you are saying, and it has more weight than my opinion as you are a teacher seeing this first hand. Would you say it requires the delivery of the same curriculum but in different settings? The trouble I've seen is that specialist provision seems to lump together disabled children regardless of behavioural issues, and there's no way a quiet autistic child can learn when surrounded by the anxiety inducing stimulus of distressed children. But I also see parents homeschooling and their children are not being challenged enough either educationally or socially.

LakieLady · 04/05/2026 09:32

SemperIdem · 03/05/2026 23:14

This did exist at one point, Remploy for example (which still does exist) had contracts with major food retailers and it worked well. I managed really diverse teams including people with physical an/or intellectual disabilities. I don’t think those people, if they were teens/young adults now would have the same chance of getting those jobs because said line of work has wholesale cut back on the workforce, so actually each person now employed is doing the work of three people 15 years ago.

There used to be a factory, run by the county council where I live. It provided employment for people with disabilities, including learning disabilities.

The council could no longer run it for reasons I can't now recall other than that it wasn't financial, and they couldn't find any organisation that could take it on, so it closed back in the noughties.

There used to be loads of such schemes back in the 70s and 80s, under the general umbrella of "sheltered workshops".

Ncisdouble · 04/05/2026 09:31

And about younger gen having too many not being able to survive workplace or have proper work ethic. While it's a collapsein waiting, for the first time in long time, 50+ might end up being preffered rather than cvs scrapped in 10 years.... I guess our gen doesn't have to worry about losing jobs and being replaces with younger ones....

Applecup · 04/05/2026 09:30

flagpolesitta · 03/05/2026 22:13

Yes this is one aspect people forget- people are having babies much older on average which raises risks, also a much much higher number of babies are thankfully surviving prematurity, pregnancy complications and other complexities that wouldn’t have made it in previous generations.

I agree with this. Years ago women had children in their twenties - generally no problems. Not so many miscarriages. Today lot of women don't always have the luxury of that choice. They want to establish a career before having children or just can't afford it younger. And quite rightly, women should have that choice but it can cause more problems.

Ncisdouble · 04/05/2026 09:28

Re life being more stressful. Obviously comparing it to hundred fifty+ years ago wouldn't work, but relatively recent changes? In a way yes.
Noise pollution has risen considerably and it is actually a major stress cause. There are studies done on that. Urbanisation, more cars, planes, but also, let's be frank, people making more noise and givin less fucks.
I lost money on rental because I moved out early due to downstairs neigbour who knew fucking well how much can be hard between flats, but still run spin at 1am which shook my flat and bedroom, shouted at night etc. Wasn't much better during the day. Cortisol on high most of the time. We have people on mn arguing that playing music in garden all day is fine, that screaming children all day are fine (many nd, but still). Not particularly helpfulf when everything we have hums, vibrates, beeps. Droning, aka constant hums, vibrations etc, can actually cause anxiety feelings.
World also "lost" colour. Again, there are studies on that. Again, that contributes to stress.
Nature is moving away further from people. The green spacess accessed near many people are now new built sites. Nature is actually quite an stress reliever.

The world around us is now literally keeping us stressed without having any situational stresses like losses or ilnesses. It's just stressful by default.

EasternStandard · 04/05/2026 09:28

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:26

Unless the country does change and becomes a ‘can do’ ‘can work’ one we are in for a rough ride.
There is only so much money that can be given out. And only so much non work that a society can handle.

So much pushes against this.

suburburban · 04/05/2026 09:27

The YTS wasn’t a bad thing

I do think there is a lack of work ethic in some families and agree that my dps wouldn’t have tolerated school refusal or not working long term

also there are companies making a lot of money out of disability

x2boys · 04/05/2026 09:26

ClawsandEffect · 04/05/2026 09:25

But it doesn't though. Imagine a dyslexic child without support. Sitting in lesson after lesson they can't access because they struggle with reading and writing. They are not being given the same opportunity.

I understand why education is so inflexible. I'm a teacher. There is no way one poor teacher can cater to the individual when they teach 300 children on rotation every 2 weeks. BUT it doesn't alter the fact that education is closed to many, many children.

I.agree with you but how would you change the system?

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:26

Unless the country does change and becomes a ‘can do’ ‘can work’ one we are in for a rough ride.
There is only so much money that can be given out. And only so much non work that a society can handle.

lemonmeringuefry · 04/05/2026 09:26

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 09:11

I think this is a very interesting question. My thoughts:

Of course, there are people with mental health disorders. However, I do think that we have people claiming to have anxiety or mental health disorders, when they don't. It's a get out of jail free card, especially at work : "You can't make me do that, because I suffer with X"

Invisible illnesses - anyone can claim "I have it", and you can't disagree. My sister has a pal with ME. She doesn't work, doesn't do anything at home, like cooking or cleaning, literally nothing - her DH does it all. However, at the weekend she can cut up a dance floor until 3am.

Too much soft parenting - means a lack of resilience in people. At 16, I was working full time and paying board. If I had told my parents I didn't want to work, and my plan was to play video games all day, I would have been given a clip around the ear and a boot up the arse - no way would that fly. Same if I had refused school - would have been marched through the door.

People having children too late. We all know that under age 35 is optimum. Once you go over that, you have much more chance of having children who have certain disorders. Why is this never mentioned? And this goes for men too, as sperm deteriorates as the man gets older, yet we regularly see 50 year old men getting women pregnant.

Ultra processed foods - why are we feeding our children utter shite and then wondering why they aren't thriving? Same goes for people not eating well in pregnancy.

Violent video games - why are we letting little boys play video games, where they are shooting shit up and murdering people? Do we not see how this is going to fuel aggression and put violent ideas into little heads.

Social media - dreadful for young people, because everyone looks like they're doing better than you/having more fun/are thinner or prettier (filters).

Lack of jail terms for offenders. If you do the crime, do the time. No early release. For really bad crimes, lethal injection.

That was a bit of a ramble and I've gone hugely off topic!

Edited

But do you think someone like that should give up her friendships and possibly the only connection she has with the outside world if she's unable to work in order to do a washing and make the dinner once a week? That is often the cost with ME. You can do one thing or maybe two things a week but doing those chosen things removes your ability to do the other things. Of course people will prioritise hanging on to friends if they've been locked out of other areas of life like work and having kids and if there's someone willing and able to do the things that make that possible for them. To be honest, all but one of my very genuinely disabled friends (from conditions like stroke, ME and schizophrenia) manage the pub from time to time but can't do things like house work consistently if at all.

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