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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there will be many more disabled adults in 20 years?

655 replies

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 22:04

I’m disabled myself, just to put that out there.

It just seems like the number of people with a disability, usually a psychiatric one, is going through the roof.

40% of disability benefit claimants are claiming for mental health related reasons. The number of anxious children and teens on here, and that I know in my own life and family, is really really high. So many schools refusers and kids in need of extra support, special school placements and so on. It seems there are a lot of unemployed young adults living at home who simply don’t have the mental acuity to get a job, live independently, have a life of their own.

3 children in my family are currently school refusing, one we only found out about today but it was not a surprise as she’s always been very anxious and has selective mutism.

My AIBU is, should we be doing something to prepare for what may be a very high number of adults not working in years to come? How will we sustain them all?

OP posts:
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9
Badbadbunny · 04/05/2026 10:32

SlumChum · 04/05/2026 09:05

I do agree with this. I've lived my whole life with chronic depression. There were times after uni that I could have just lived at home with mom, but I went out and did part time work. It forced me to spend the day thinking about other things, talk to people, and I earned some money to spend on something for myself. These are positive protective factors, not something to be avoided.

Similar here. But I was horrendously bullied throughout my secondary school years and became very withdrawn, never went out, no friends, no hobbies, and ended up leaving school with literally no qualifications (failed all my exams). That was despite starting secondary school as a grade A* student and being top of class at primary. I was in a very dark place. But back then (40 years ago), not working wasn't an option and I was virtually ushered out of the door by my parents to get a job, any job. I'd have happily just stayed in my bedroom 24-7! Parents didn't give me an option to stay home nor talk to the GP about depression etc - it wasn't "a thing" back then. But I did get a job, very low paid menial, making coffees, filing and taking the post in an accountant's office. Slowly I came out of my shell, started trusting people again, and within a few months, I enjoyed the work, the workplace, the other staff, etc and really started to thrive. That was just because it wasn't school, I wasn't being bullied, we had a laugh at work, and I was progressing doing more and more higher level work. I then decided to do self study and evening classes to get my O and A levels, which took a few years, and then went on to study to become a chartered accountant, now been running my own small practice for 25 years! If I hadn't been forced to go out and get a job, I'd probably have had a life of depression, hiding in my bedroom, etc. Even now, I suffer extreme anxiety, am a "people pleaser", still not particularly sociable, so there is long term "damage", but at least I've been functional all my working life, never a day off unemployed always leaving one job Friday and starting the new one Monday. I know lots of people are far worse and wouldn't be able to turn it around, but I'm sure lots are able, and would thrive with a proper daily routine of a job and being forced to work with other people etc - the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Sitting at home in a darkened room playing video games is just going to make you worse.

Allisnotlost1 · 04/05/2026 10:32

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 04/05/2026 10:30

I think it’s already becoming an issue. At work we have a lot of people off from burnout. Some make sense due to wider things going on in their lives but a lot are young people a few years in to their careers who just don’t seem to be able to cope with normal working demands/ hours etc. These people are then paid to be off work or on reduced hours for significant lengths of time and i don’t know what happens when that runs out.

Surely that points to really poor management/HR rather than anything else?

Allisnotlost1 · 04/05/2026 10:31

Walkyrie · 04/05/2026 08:14

I know lots of middle aged people with MH problems, but the difference is they’re able to manage or compartmentalise them so they can fulfil their obligations at work and look after their children.

Then you know lots of middle aged people with mild to moderate mental health problems, some of which will remain stable, some will improve and some will worsen. Most people with mild-moderate MH needs in middle age will have been healthy young people when they started work.

The difference for young people, even those with mild-moderate MH needs is that the mental health problem has manifested before work so they don’t have work experience, and there are far fewer jobs. I think the ‘disability’ of mild-moderate MH needs is often a red herring and for a long time has masked the failing and changing economy.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 04/05/2026 10:30

I think it’s already becoming an issue. At work we have a lot of people off from burnout. Some make sense due to wider things going on in their lives but a lot are young people a few years in to their careers who just don’t seem to be able to cope with normal working demands/ hours etc. These people are then paid to be off work or on reduced hours for significant lengths of time and i don’t know what happens when that runs out.

5foot5 · 04/05/2026 10:28

likelysuspect · 04/05/2026 07:23

But there is an interesting point in that assumption you've made

The assumption being that immigration wont bring with it more people with needs which mean they cant work

So if thats the case, what is happening in this country but not happening in other countries to cause/contribute/create (put whatever word you want on it) a higher level of disability?

Or, is it a false assumption to make that those coming into the country and their children wouldnt have those needs?

Why is a higher rate of disability not a universal thing? Or is it?

I guess I have always assumed that the people prepared to up sticks and move to another country and make a go of it will tend to be the brightest, bravest, most hardworking and enterprising. Hence their offspring may be the same

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 10:26

FurryWastebin · 04/05/2026 10:10

The world of work is going to have to change in order to support people who are the disabled capable, of which there are many, and who just need a bit of help.

A lot of other people are going to have to accept that they're going to have to get their act together and start looking after themselves.

I appreciate this won't be popular and I'll be piled on for saying it but it's true.

Im sorry but this rhetoric needs challenging. Some people don't find it easy to get their act together. As I said in previous posts. I had a relative with schizophrenia. He tried to kill himself when I was 13. I didn't find out until after he died. He committed suicide when I was 21.

As I said in previous posts. I have ptsd. I was stalked for 15 months. I got death threats. Parcels sent to my home. Photos of my house went online. I got help from police on the 7th attempt and I have ptsd. I wouldn't wish that on anyone

I had to give up work - because I couldn't cope. I was only working a zero hours job but it was in security. I almost got my head kicked in one night on a shift and I couldn't cope with everything all at once

I wasn't on benefits the entire time for specific reasons. But around three months after an event that happened because of one of my stalkers. I was told I was fit to work.

I had a breakdown in 2023. I tried to get lwrca again. Zero points. Fit to work. I spent 8 months seeing a psychologist

I waited 8 months to see a psychologist. Some people wait years. As I said above I finally got lcwra for a short period because of the leg break. Never for mental health issues

The adult disability payment process was a bit kinder. I was actually treated like a human being. I actually got my report from the last lwrca assessor. Apparently a week after a triple leg fracture I was reaching up to high cupboards and pouring myself oat milk (news to me)

Ps. Referring to people as "the disabled capable" is really poor. There are people who's mental health will fluctuate. I have a friend who is bipolar who is only alive because she was sectioned twice. She had a very good job but retired early (in her 50s). She was in the financial position to be able to

echt · 04/05/2026 10:20

Glowingup · 04/05/2026 10:07

The vast majority of people will have an abortion if Down’s is diagnosed though. Theres no huge influx of babies with Down’s syndrome.

While this BBC article also tackles some of the ethical issues that some have raised surrounding this, @Glowingup's assertion is correct.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-51658631

Mellor family

Down's syndrome: 'In all honesty we were offered 15 terminations'

Mothers of babies with Down's syndrome reveal the pressure they felt to terminate their pregnancies.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-51658631

Badbadbunny · 04/05/2026 10:18

Nothingl3ft · 03/05/2026 22:55

How about if these jobs need doing we pay people a decent wage to do them instead of a wage that can barely be existed on? Less people on benefits then! Radical huh!

Then prices of everything and taxes go up to pay for it, and we're back to where we were.

lemonmeringuefry · 04/05/2026 10:16

There are definitely more disabled people. Many of the major conditions that disable people and cannot be faked are rising according to research (eg cancer, diabetes, MS) and deaths due to despair (overdoses, suicides etc) track with the increase in mental health disabilities. In the past many would have been supported by family because incomes were higher in many sectors of society and they wouldn't have had to claim benefits. That's changed now.

Peony1985 · 04/05/2026 10:16

ClawsandEffect · 04/05/2026 09:25

But it doesn't though. Imagine a dyslexic child without support. Sitting in lesson after lesson they can't access because they struggle with reading and writing. They are not being given the same opportunity.

I understand why education is so inflexible. I'm a teacher. There is no way one poor teacher can cater to the individual when they teach 300 children on rotation every 2 weeks. BUT it doesn't alter the fact that education is closed to many, many children.

Dyslexia is more than not being able to see words to read them. We’ve always had dyslexia and most kids learn to read and write from whichever phonetics or phonetic practice is in fashion.

It’s the frustration of not keeping up in a system that expects fluency by 7.
Having a different brain physiology means finding quicker solutions to problems, being better adapted to solving problems. It’s not really a disability.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 10:13

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 22:04

I’m disabled myself, just to put that out there.

It just seems like the number of people with a disability, usually a psychiatric one, is going through the roof.

40% of disability benefit claimants are claiming for mental health related reasons. The number of anxious children and teens on here, and that I know in my own life and family, is really really high. So many schools refusers and kids in need of extra support, special school placements and so on. It seems there are a lot of unemployed young adults living at home who simply don’t have the mental acuity to get a job, live independently, have a life of their own.

3 children in my family are currently school refusing, one we only found out about today but it was not a surprise as she’s always been very anxious and has selective mutism.

My AIBU is, should we be doing something to prepare for what may be a very high number of adults not working in years to come? How will we sustain them all?

I'm claiming for mental health benefits because I have mental health issues. I had to battle to get them. I got lwrca on the third attempt. Not for mental health but for a leg fracture. I got adult disability payment for both but both awards were short term.

I found the lwrca process horrible - and I won't put myself through that again.

ArtyFartyCrafts · 04/05/2026 10:13

People will eventually be forced to take some personal responsibility for their own lives, their own physical and mental health, and that of their offspring. There will eventually not be an option to opt out of taking personal responsibility and being accountable, like there is now. If playing the victim was an Olympic sport Britain would be breaking world records constantly. We are emotionally weak, emotionally crippled and emotionally immature and we are teaching our kids to be even worse.

FurryWastebin · 04/05/2026 10:10

The world of work is going to have to change in order to support people who are the disabled capable, of which there are many, and who just need a bit of help.

A lot of other people are going to have to accept that they're going to have to get their act together and start looking after themselves.

I appreciate this won't be popular and I'll be piled on for saying it but it's true.

Glowingup · 04/05/2026 10:07

TigerRag · 04/05/2026 09:54

You know there's a higher risk of down syndrome when the mother is older? And if the father is older there's a higher risk of autism

The vast majority of people will have an abortion if Down’s is diagnosed though. Theres no huge influx of babies with Down’s syndrome.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 10:06

Walkyrie · 04/05/2026 08:14

I know lots of middle aged people with MH problems, but the difference is they’re able to manage or compartmentalise them so they can fulfil their obligations at work and look after their children.

Generalised sweeping statement. I have ptsd because I was stalked for over a year. I couldn't compartmentalise anything. I barely functioned for two years. I had to see a psychologist. You do know that there are adults on pip and lwrca. Some work and some don't

My uncle had schizophrenia. He worked when he was well enough. He was a teacher and before he died he was working in tourism. He killed himself. If someone is suffering from clinical depression it does not matter if they have a job or kids. It's not always enough to save them

sugarandcyanide · 04/05/2026 10:02

I don't think there are more disabled people but the definition of disabled has changed and life has changed. People talk a lot more about mental health and neurodiversity.

There's history of autism and adhd on both sides of my family, it was just never diagnosed. Relatives who now we would recognise as autistic or adhd just had to get on with it and find a job, none of them would have been considered disabled.

Families were much bigger then, there were 8 people in my dad's 3 bed family home, it wasn't an option for adult children to continue living there. They had to go out and earn as soon as they left school.

I have a relative with a genetic condition that means he is physically disabled, he had an adapted car and has worked his whole life.

I also think because of technological advances and decline in manufacturing there are fewer suitable jobs and people who do struggle now have the option to claim benefits instead. Lots of young people without any health issues are saying they can't find work.

Not all young people with autism are written off as unable to work though. Most functioning autistic people still have jobs.

lemonmeringuefry · 04/05/2026 10:02

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:57

What are other countries that do not seem to have such problems doing differently ?

I think everywhere is having these same problems. But other comparable countries haven't damaged their health system with underinvestment to the extent that we have and their housing is significantly better (even if far from great). Also they didn't have austerity.

Monty36 · 04/05/2026 09:57

What are other countries that do not seem to have such problems doing differently ?

GimmieABreakOr3 · 04/05/2026 09:55

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 22:08

I don’t mean the job market which I agree is woeful and I also think the education system is woeful and needs a huge shake up.

I mean the number of young people and kids who look very unlikely to ever live a fully independent tax paying life, surely we are going to have to find a way to support them.

The numbers just seem massive.

Don’t you think it’s all linked though, OP?

TigerRag · 04/05/2026 09:54

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/05/2026 09:52

and what has older parents goto do with anything

You know there's a higher risk of down syndrome when the mother is older? And if the father is older there's a higher risk of autism

Britainisgreat · 04/05/2026 09:54

fashionqueen0123 · 04/05/2026 09:51

And in 48 years did no GP etc refer you for help or give you medication etc?
18 is very young to be written off for work almost 50 years ago when benefits were quite different to now.

Yes but nothing worked. Had assessments by the DSS/now DWP every 2 years. Think after a few years they just wrote me off.

x2boys · 04/05/2026 09:53

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 09:45

Completely agree with this. My DD is a teacher. In her first school she had 31 students, 5 of whom were high needs SEN. These 5 children ruined every lesson as they were so disruptive. Just keeping them under control took all her time. And of course, this meant that the other 26 were left to complete tasks with very little supervision. No one wins here. Not the SEN children, not the other children and certainly not my DD, who came home most nights and cried with exhaustion.

She moved abroad and now works in a SEN school. She has around 8 pupils in the class. She now LOVES her job, as she can give these children the attention they need (and deserve). In reality it's closer to babysitting than teaching, as these children are never going to work.

Well its not babysiitting and i hope your daughter isnt a ignorant as you
It may not look like an Education to you
But these children are being taught life skills enabling them to be as indepedent as possible.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/05/2026 09:52

youalright · 03/05/2026 22:09

I think if the nhs keeps getting worse and people keep having children at an older age then yes.

and what has older parents goto do with anything

TheBlueKoala · 04/05/2026 09:51

Most disabled young people that I know do work. My DS1 16 is in a school to learn practical skills and he can then go on to work in a special supported work unit with gardening, cleaning, cooking etc.

fashionqueen0123 · 04/05/2026 09:51

Britainisgreat · 04/05/2026 09:43

I haven't worked since I was 18. Been on sickness benefits with nerves and depression since then so 48 years, just transferred to pension. Haven't had a bad life, got married still and wife worked so I looked after two kids. Grand-kids now.

Edited

And in 48 years did no GP etc refer you for help or give you medication etc?
18 is very young to be written off for work almost 50 years ago when benefits were quite different to now.