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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you need to clean for “guests”

193 replies

CleanHouseForNow · 03/05/2026 21:19

We have family visiting tomorrow for lunch. A planned meal with about 15 people. We see them regularly but not often at home.

In the interests of full disclosure we have a cleaner who does 3 hours once a week. I think in addition we need to:
> Deep clean the kitchen
> Mop the floor of the whole downstairs
> Deep clean downstairs toilet
> Remove all clutter from downstairs
> Wipe all downstairs surfaces
> Empty downstairs bins
> Hoover upstairs
> Deep clean upstairs bathroom

This is the minimum. I would actually do more if time permitted.

DH thinks it is WAY too much and would probably just wipe down the kitchen and spray some air freshener in the bathrooms. AIBU?

OP posts:
Abso · 03/05/2026 22:36

I'm with you.

My DH thinks I'm excessive though.

ButterYellowHair · 03/05/2026 22:35

You don’t need to do that. You do need to clean the toilet and mop the floors, remove clutter and empty bins. The rest is you being dramatic.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 03/05/2026 22:34

Is my idea of a deep clean different to other people's? When I last 'deep cleaned' my kitchen, about 3 or 4 years ago, it took three days. Everything was cleaned from the ceiling down, appliances pulled out, every inch scrubbed.

A thorough clean takes about 6 hours.

I usually do a normal clean which wouldn't take longer than an hour or two at most but wouldn't involve cleaning out the cupboards. Probably usually takes 30-45 minutes.

CoastalCalm · 03/05/2026 22:34

I would tidy away clutter whizz around with the hoover and clean the toilet and sink but anything else would be left

Riverpaddling · 03/05/2026 22:33

SometimesThingsHappen · 03/05/2026 21:29

I'm the same. I go into deep cleaning mode on the rare occasion we have visitors (we rarely have visitors because of the work involved 😂). I have a cleaner who works 3 to 4 hours a week. It's not like we live in filth, but I think there are things that we don't notice normally but visitors would.

See, I'd say the opposite of this. If I'm visiting someone, the last thing I'll be doing is judging the cleanliness of their house. I'd just be happy to spend time with them.

spstchmu · 03/05/2026 22:32

I think this is normal. Not sure what deep clean in bathroom sense means but clean the bathrooms sure.

Original poster
CleanHouseForNow · 03/05/2026 22:31

Our cleaner comes for several hours once a week however it looks like she hasn’t been after five minutes!
@Papersquidge same. It makes a difference to us but in terms of visitors, not so much.

OP posts:
HalfApology · 03/05/2026 22:31

Is your house dirty? I don’t do anything extra when someone is visiting. There are 4 of us and we have animals so it’s never going to be a show home and I wouldn’t want it to be. It is kept clean and tidy(ish) by us and our cleaner. I don’t worry if there is washing to be put away or something like that. They take us as they find us or they’re not welcome. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Abandofangelsincivvies · 03/05/2026 22:30

MyDuvetDay · 03/05/2026 22:22

Yes you should do all that.

yes it’s exhausting.

yes I’ve pretty much stopped hosting

This^

ImFinePMSL · 03/05/2026 22:28

It all seems 🦇 💩 to me.

If you keep on top of having a clean and tidy house there’s no way you need to do a deep clean for your family coming round for lunch.

Sounds like a very stressful way to live.

Bufftailed · 03/05/2026 22:28

Too much. If cleaner has been i wouldn’t be worrying

LittleBearPad · 03/05/2026 22:27

Hoover downstairs ans check downstairs loo is clean. No need to scrub tiles

Ineffable23 · 03/05/2026 22:26

I would expect that the cleaner left the toilet and the upstairs sufficiently cleaned from one week to the next. Same for the kitchen but obviously I would wipe the surfaces down and do the washing up. Quick hoover downstairs if it was visibly bitty or bitty underfoot.

I would tidy up downstairs but that wouldn't put me off hosting as I view being forced to tidy as a positive thing. I wouldn't be spending more than 20 minutes on it, so maybe 30 in total.

TheDogsMother · 03/05/2026 22:25

I would do this. We clean the entire downstairs if we have friends round for a drink. Probably sad.

Original poster
CleanHouseForNow · 03/05/2026 22:25

saraclara · 03/05/2026 22:10

And this is family that you have visiting?

Two or three times a year I have that number of family members here. I focus more on the catering than cleaning. And I can guarantee that my family members will be far too busy enjoying each others company to notice a hair in the sink (or any other imperfection, frankly).

You have a cleaner. It's not going to be gross. The kitchen and bathroom/toilets need checking over, and if your children have strewn things around, they'll need tidying. Then a quick hoover, and you should be done.

Show quote history

I do focus on the food too, which DH is responsible for because he is much more level headed than me. He buys all that he thinks we need and then I run to the supermarket to top it up! I don’t want anyone to feel disappointed with what is offered.

Maybe I freak out because my Mum was like this so I worry my wider family expect the same standard.

OP posts:
Minglingpringle · 03/05/2026 22:24

Personal preference. Neither is wrong.

ItsJustMeMyself · 03/05/2026 22:24

I would do that and more. It's not excessive. It's courtesy and hospitable.

sunflowersandsunsets · 03/05/2026 22:24

Why are you paying for a cleaner to come for three hours a week if you need to deep clean again before you have guests?

I wouldn’t do any of that before a guest but our home is always clean and presentable anyway.

Endorewitch · 03/05/2026 22:23

Make sure toilets are clean. If your house is usually messy,give a quick tidy up. Otherwise bathrooms and a tidying up is enough. Your kitchen and downstairs will be pretty messy after hosting 15 people. Save your efforts for after they have gone. Unless the house is a complete tip and the loos filthy remember people are coming to see you. Not house inspectors.

MyDuvetDay · 03/05/2026 22:22

Yes you should do all that.

yes it’s exhausting.

yes I’ve pretty much stopped hosting

Fast800goingforit · 03/05/2026 22:22

I voted you WNBU but changed my vote when I realised you have a cleaner for 3 hours every week. Wtf are you paying for if you need to deep clean before you have family over??

redskyAtNigh · 03/05/2026 22:19

CleanHouseForNow · 03/05/2026 22:10

Yes I think so. Would you want to put a sanitary towel in a full bin? Ok so maybe it wouldn’t be ‘full’ but I would make sure it was empty so they didn’t feel uncomfortable.

Show quote history

So will you be checking the bin between uses so that it stays empty or this will only work for the first person?

I have to admit I have never checked the contents of a bathroom bin before putting items in one. Although if I was uncomfortable about putting a (presumably wrapped) sanitary towel in a bin, I would prefer to have items to hide it under.

maddiemookins16mum · 03/05/2026 22:18

Remove deep from your list and you’ll be grand.

Papersquidge · 03/05/2026 22:18

Our cleaner comes for several hours once a week however it looks like she hasn’t been after five minutes!

Id tidy up; clean the surfaces and sweep up. I’m not sure I’d bother hoovering but always make sure the bathrooms are presentable!

Twooclockrock · 03/05/2026 22:17

For me its toilets clean, bathroom sinks clean, floors hoovered and mopped
Anything gross or sticky like a smear of jam on a side table too..
Thats all I would bother with. But I would also shut doors to some rooms like bedrooms.