Stick your fundraiser - the hardest test will be leaving my children for so long

Ok well maybe wife is happy as he has wanted to do this forever. Maybe it's his dream. It will be hard but maybe they are happy about it

Gosh can you imagine if it were the other way round and it were the mum trying to fundraise for her trip. She’d no doubt be met with outrage that she dared to leave her 3 young children (particularly a newborn) for months, leaving poor dad home alone to do everything with three young children. Yet dad is a hero for doing it.

The poster that said is this Julia’s husband from motherland 🤣🤣🤣🤣 totally picturing this episode now!

This reminds me of Spencer Matthews and poor Vogue at the end of his Marathon des Sables. It's not just the event, it's the months of training .

Not even remotely heroic, total dereliction of duties to his wife, his newborn and his other children.

Heroic would be staying home to parent his children and giving his own money to charity.

He’s getting to do a hobby and call it community service.

Start your own thread about such feckless wagons then.

And the wife is just blindly going along with no thought in her own head? why is eveything these days men are evil bastards and women are martyred saints

donate or not but why are men endlessly blamed for eveything and yes shock horror I know women who actually do things to fundraise for charities, I know amazing innit

Had a colleague once who, in response to someone wanting sponsorship to do a Maccu Pichu walk for charity, replied that someone should sponsor him for taking his 14 year old on holiday to Wales. She was a difficult teen and a real challenge. I always remember this and the truth of it !

Strong agree from me OP. Fair enough if his kids were teenagers, although I still wouldn't be sponsoring him.

But to piss off for 4 months on a lads holiday leaving 3 young children at home, insane.

Oh and not to forget he's probably been off "training" every weekend for months in preparation. His wife decides to say something - but what about all the people that donated money darling, I can't let them down (but yes, it's absolutely fine for me to abscond of all parental responsibilities and continually let you down).

It is other people's business because they're being told to donate money to this "worthy cause".

Which in real life, as you seem to understand, is just a private holiday.

Yes, I’ve often wondered why I should pay for someone taking a hobby holiday. I’m happy to donate to a good cause, but if I’m sponsoring someone to do something I’d rather it was something useful like litter picking or bulb planting.

Just not something fake-useful like teenagers building a community hall in Africa. Which of course takes work away from locals who need the wages, and will either be useless or have to be rebuilt by actual builders.

I work in Local Government and we're allowed to take up to 6 months unpaid leave after we've been there for 7 years. Some people use it to go travelling etc. I've never taken it because we can't afford to lose my income.

This man sounds incredibly selfish. He's leaving his poor wife to effectively be a single parent, and presumably it's costing a fortune in lost income. If I was the wife it would be a hard no.

If his wife is "looking forward to a break" from DH despite having a newborn then he's even more fucking useless than OP already made him sound, which is very useless indeed.

I don’t think I’d go that far…

Mine would be an ex partner.

My DH went with three colleagues to walk Hadrian’s wall to raise money for a charity for a disease affecting a couple co workers. They raised over £65k. They did it in four DAYS. Taking months is ridiculous and self indulgent.

I'm invested too ...as it clearly relies on a default parent and surprise surprise it's the mother...beginning to see how our society is structured to the disadvantage of women???

Seriously has noone on MN heard the phrase "the personal is political"?

She should be putting her foot down with him! If he cared that much about not spending time with his kids he wouldnt be doing it.
Sounds like one of those immature blokes who wants the perks of parenting without all the hardwork, and still expects to have the same freedom as before having kids.Men like that need firm boundaries from partners!

I get annoyed by school kids raising funds to go and help in some far flung place, this is a glorified holiday, I refuse to contribute. If they felt that strongly, then send the few thousand pounds it costs to the charity, rather than send teenagers to piss around and take photos for their social media.

I’m with you on this OP. We need to start calling it what is, Glory Seeking. Am sick to the back teeth of it.

Oh and relinquishing of responsibilities - as well as the glory seeking.

Is he Julia's husband from Motherland?

I agree @LifeIsAMeatball what bloody twats. So much ego. It would be so satisfying if the community sponsored the women facilitating the men's holiday instead.

I think the same when I see men out cycling, or playing golf, or at the pub in the middle of the day... I always imagine the wife running around getting the food shop in and cooking and doing the washing and sorting the kids while he's having a whale of a time.
I very rarely see women out in the same sort of way.

OP is allowed to feel how she feels without understanding how the wife feels.

And I agree with her.

Its all the "being irked on someone else's behalf"
How do you know his wife didnt encourage him to do it. Has she confirmed she is irked/not irked about it?