Stick your fundraiser - the hardest test will be leaving my children for so long

God that's so bleak. That poor woman and kids.

I completely agree, OP. I also can't believe his work gave him paid leave for this! And it's not just the trip itself but the months of training rides, preparation etc. I know these kinds of events do raise a lot for charity but is he really raising that much more doing this trip than a UK based one?

The question of who can do these trips is also very much not equal in terms of age, gender, wealth, disability, class. So the people who get the glory are often from certain types. Most of the people keeping the lights on at charities for no recognition are poorly paid women.

Have they actually made a difference with the money they have raised or it is mostly to fund these trips.

As I said on the other thread, event fundraising is really important to charities. But why not a UK event where the travel costs would be much more proportionate? You can get to Lands End via train and a public bus and I imagine the same at John O’Groats. The environmental impact is fairly low and you would be spending money in local, non-tourist areas due to the need to stay close to the route.

As soon as someone proposes getting on a plane and using their passport to raise money for charity my eyebrows start to rise…

On the topic of leaving family behind I did used to wonder how Mrs Peake felt about it all, what with her DH up gadding around in space and leaving her to look after their two little boys by herself. I know he is supposed to be lovely and a national hero, but still…

Reverse that and you'd be in for a lot of criticism. You can't allow or ban your spouse from doing things. You just hope they're not as thoughtless. What do you do when they are? And they frame it around helping others. Not an easy situation to navigate.

Not "blaming" her, just saying she is a fool to allow it. I would have shut this shit down at the fIrst discussion.

I’m surprised it got to page four before someone blamed her

I think in many ways it’s a two pronged discussion; there is the element of leaving young children behind (and the wording of it, as if he has no choice in the matter) and the requests for money for something that’s effectively a holiday.

Maybe it really is time to call out ‘sponsorships’; no one ‘needs’ to ride a bike or walk or run for charity. It’s silly and pointless.

My colleagues DH did this, bit of a mid life crisis. He died on the trip. Poor woman was then stuck with horrible mixes of emotions because she was so angry at his selfishness but so sad that he's gone and left his lovely DC fatherless.

More fool her for putting up with it.

Was it an evangelical or pentecostal church by any chance?

Edited: sorry, I ask because I am quite interested in poor fundraising practices within churches (ever since a young relative was drawn in as a student) and the Fundraising Regulator has recently begun to clamp down on what is allowed and not allowed. https://www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/about-fundraising/resources/supporting-faith-based-charities-apply-code-confidence

Did you leave your spouse behind caring solo for your children? If you don’t have children it isn’t as big of a deal imo.

It’s almost always men doing this sort of shit and if a woman does it she generally doesn’t have children at home waiting. People never consider who is left behind quite literally holding the baby when these egotists fuck off on their narcissistic missions to “save the world” aka avoid responsibility.

Oh 🙈 I’ve just completed a charity solo bike ride. I paid for the entire trip myself and asked for donations to a charity that affects my family

ive had a lot of supportive messages whilst away and encouragement, along with generous donations.

I didn’t realise it was annoying to people 😳 I didn’t leave anyone at home, although im a mother and grandmother, my children are all adults - who also showed support

well it’s done now and I’m home

Not always.

I am doing a trekking challenge for charity soon, and its costing me over £1000 and all money raised goes directly to the charity I'm doing it for. Same as when I did a sky dive. And various other challenges (aside from the one i got free entry to)

I do think people should be transparent though about whether they're self funding or not.

She’s annoyed because he’s asking her for money. For all you know she might be part of a support network for the mum looking after three kids on her own.

I used to get fed up of these things but in my older years I’’m more sanguine about it. So many people (mostly men) struggle to cope with the mundanity and responsibility of their lives and need to have a challenge or escape. Beats having an affair or getting in to violent protests.

Anyone watch that brilliant ‘I shouldn’t be alive’ programme? Full of men who got themselves and sometimes their families into dangerous situations so they could feel alive. I’m just happy I’m content with life and don’t feel the need.

Ignore. This is surely the poster who was too cheap to pay her 60 quid marathon participation, paid 20 quid and wanted to fundraise 375 and complained in a thread that everyone wasn't supportive because it was really hard work running🙄.

There are always people who will transform their own dreams and desires into being something of social value. Deluded but since noone is telling them they are naked they keep on being emperors.

I love that idea @marcopront . Someone could set up a board by the duck pond showing which African country he has got to.

I’m really intrigued by the logistics of this.
Who is going to transport his luggage while he cycles?
Who is going to do repairs to his bicycle?
Where is he staying?
What about visas?

Is he paying for flights, hotels, bicycle repairs etc? Or is that coming out of the money raised?

I work at a school in Tanzania. We send students on cycle trips. There is a bus carrying luggage and tents. There are people who help with the cooking. There is a repair man who goes with them. The last one was nearly washed out. The logistics for a four day local trip are a lot even with people who know the area and speak the language.

If he really wants to support the charity he could cycle round the local duck pond. He would be able to donate a much higher proportion of the money raised.

There were similar fundraisers at the school/church I used to go to, asking for donations to send teenagers across the world to help with building work etc-how can they actually help?

It was always the richest families in the congregation that managed to get their children involved, doctors families, they could afford to send their children without the donations
One event in Australia , more of a youth faith event, again asking for people’s money to pay for the tickets, turned out the whole family went as an opportunity to see Australia! The arrogance of people
I’ve since left the church due to the double standards, pretending they are kind but in reality they are not.

Of course I can imagine it, my friend is doing it, leaving her husband with the kids for a month. He is happy and capable to do it.

In their lives and social circles it's not a big deal. There's no outrage. She has a husband who is an actual partner and as close to a 50/50 split as you can get.

I agree to an extent it's often men who are doing things like this.

But at the same time the woman could also do stuff like this if she wanted to? - or she SHOULD be able to, anyway.

My friend (female) is soon off trekking in Spain for a month, leaving her husband with 2 yr old and 5 yr old.

It's perfectly possible. Women can also be proactive about having these needs met and leaving the home to have adventures - we also need to drive this from within and not accept that we are the default parent if we don't want to be.

This!

I bet he’s insufferable at work and they organized it to get him out for a while.

Maybe it’s his dream? Same as the several other long hobby holidays he’s already done have been his dream?
maybe he should fulfil his dreams once his kids have grown up.
if his wife is happy about him leaving her single parenting at home for months, especially with a newborn, it really shows how utterly useless he is.

Reminded me of him too! 3 young kids at home and another on the way and he’s always off doing things ‘for charity’.