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AIBU?

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Stick your fundraiser - the hardest test will be leaving my children for so long

258 replies

LifeIsAMeatball · 03/05/2026 20:44

I’m yet again avoiding a community fundraiser for a man’s ego. He’s cycling Africa with some friends. It’ll be tough but the hardest bit “will be not seeing his kids for three or four months.”

Give me strength. I’ve already had to endure years of the group of school dads who spent every summer on the lads “fundraising trips” - Lands End to John O’Groats, London to Paris, Africa (yeah, it’s been done already), cross Europe, some of Europe that’s a bit vague but conveniently ends in Ibiza during party season.

I’m assertive enough to say no but these things get the whole community behind them. You can’t go to the pub, shop, hairdressers or even the bloody dog groomers without someone rattling a tin for the local hero.

Meanwhile, there’s yet another woman at home about to solo parent with no plaudits - and would she even dare to argue her lot given the whole community thinks he is amazing?

This particular fine specimen enjoys free drinks at the pub to celebrate him before he leaves in 3 weeks. His wife is at home with a four week old, a 3 year old with additional needs and a six year old.

OP posts:
UnhappyHobbit · 03/05/2026 20:55

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 03/05/2026 20:48

I would not be calling my DH a hero for conning people into paying for his hobbies.

I get annoyed when people say they’re doing a charity skydive. No! You’re going skydiving and want it funded. If it’s genuinely for charity, just donate the money.

Absolutely this. I’ve seen it before when people have set up fundraisers to actually physically go and attend to some natural disaster in a far flung land. Just donate the monies to the locals. No one needs you there Paul.

Comedycook · 03/05/2026 20:54

Yanbu.

I see this sort of shit all the time. .men with families pissing around doing some mountain climb/marathon/bike ride and expecting to be treated like a hero. Thank god my own DH doesn't do shit like this...but when I hear of it, I always think of the poor wife who is slogging her guts out keeping the show on the road with the kids and house.

WhatHasHappenedNow · 03/05/2026 20:53

You need to tell him, charity begins at home.

LifeIsAMeatball · 03/05/2026 20:53

Besidemyselfwithworry · 03/05/2026 20:48

3-4 months!!
doesn’t he have a job??

I’d not be impressed if my partner left me to do that for that amount of time!!

His job has given him social value leave!

OP posts:
Hiddeninthetrees · 03/05/2026 20:53

Maybe the children's mum should also set up a fundraiser for being left behind while he goes on what is essentially a type of hobby holiday.

Mistymaglets · 03/05/2026 20:51

Fundraising my arse.
He's off on a hobby holiday.

If I was his wife I'd slash his tyres, the virtue signalling prick.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 03/05/2026 20:48

I would not be calling my DH a hero for conning people into paying for his hobbies.

I get annoyed when people say they’re doing a charity skydive. No! You’re going skydiving and want it funded. If it’s genuinely for charity, just donate the money.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 03/05/2026 20:48

3-4 months!!
doesn’t he have a job??

I’d not be impressed if my partner left me to do that for that amount of time!!

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