Stick your fundraiser - the hardest test will be leaving my children for so long

ah yes she was forced into the trade of having one child after the other…and a life with Just chores and no hobbies.

not all wives/mothers are long suffering. Are you privy to everything that goes on in their lives/behind closed doors.

i am a mum too and my other half haves hobbies. He coaches rugby in under privileged countries around the world to keep youngsters out of trouble and is a very big supporter of the wooden spoon rugby charity supporting children with disabilities. He usually works out wants he wants to do/what is feasible at the beginning of the year and we pop in our mutual diary, I have a full time job but volunteer with a charity that run neutering campaigns in countries we’re the stray dog population is out of control. I schedule my trips too and whilst sometimes our daughter can travel (she is a baby) we don’t always take her. Ie my next trip the nanny is coming so I can still see her. He is out for two weeks in the summer (Kenya) so I will go with him. (Maybe not for the whole two weeks)
Some couple so talk/support each others (and irritate each too)

To be fair, she will have one less human to deal with, so I think that's a win.

It does depend how honest people are. I had a friend do a long fundraising trip and they paid vast majority of stuff out of their own pocket, plus had businesses donate stuff like car rentals for a few days, most of the accomodation was sorted in the same way, local restaurants donated meals so they didnt have to pay for most of the food etc.

I think it will be a lot more than that.
l am too invested in this but I found a trip next year that is $21 000 and that is camping most of the time. With the level of support needed I don’t think an individual will do it for a lot less.

He’s such a selfish arsehole!!! Poor woman.

His wife is at home with a four week old, a 3 year old with additional needs and a six year old.

Bloody hell, he's being paid to neglect his duties as a father. Poor woman!

Whenever someone is doing things like this for charity, my first thought it that they either want someone else to pay for their trip or fucking off to Africa for 4 months looks bad so let's pretend it is for charity.

My ex-manager (a woman) was always trying to rally people behind her fundraising activities. She was a narcissist who treated everyone like shit but wanted to pretend she cared for others.

She lied, schemed, bullied people, manipulated them, cried when she got caught to then rinse and repeat.

But, sure. I'll give you money to climb a mountain while I cover for you at work 🙄

How many mums with a 4 week old baby have much time for either?

What a fucking bellend

I hope his wife realises she copes just fine on her own and bins him off

With 3 small children and a fairly absent partner I doubt she has that much spare time!

But how much do they actually benefit? Surely the first £6-7K raised is paying his basic expenses (flights, hotels, food)

What a stunning and brave white saviour he must be!

I was thinking this too.

Does the wife not have any hobbies or a job?

Unfortunately for her she has a four week old baby...I find his attitude unbelievably callous, she will be burned out, sleep deprived and coping with two other children. She's the one performing an amazing feat, not him. In fact, I think OP should sponsor the mother for valour in the face of male assholery and send the money to the charity of her choice.

I hope his wife enjoys the peace his absence will bring. I can only imagine the constant waffle about protein shakes, bike saddles getting lost in the post, and washing instructions for Lycra, while she's dabbing his bum cheeks with surgical spirit.

I'd have turned up at their door the following weekend "so nice of you to start this tradition of giving one of us a break while the other is away, looks like I'll be seeing a lot more of you! I'm afraid you'll be unlikely to see DH though...come on kids, in we go"

Could you donate directly to the charity? As you support the cause, but not their extended cycling holiday.

I can just imagine the lynching the mum would get if she decided to go and her leave three young children for 4 months to go cycling.

There's absolutely nothing heroic about this.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing exactly. This kind I'd thing is just showboating at the expense of generous locals and his wife and kid's time.

What’s annoying is that it would be better for people to donate directly to this good cause, rather than paying for this lad’s trip. And his wife and child wouldn’t be left at home!

Id tell him I was donating directly if I lived nearby.

And if I was his employer, I’d say “like fuck you are, charity begins at home, now go parent your children and support your wife!”

One of the people in this story is a complete twat and it’s not you or your friend with a brain tumour. I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐

Thanks for marking my homework. 📚

There's always one.

Your children are adults, not a baby or young child with additional needs, and you paid for your trip.

So how is this relevant to the OP, other than to virtue signal about a tenuously connected holiday you had?

Who's "you"?

The OP isn't married to this man.