Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much?

63 replies

weddingdilemma2026 · 03/05/2026 17:18

We have been invited to a wedding of a friend. The invite requests “money towards a honeymoon instead of a present” we have no idea how much to give. Don’t want to look flash and potentially give more than close relatives but then again don’t want to look miserly.
If you were invited what would you suggest is a reasonable amount? The wedding isn’t for a few months so the amount isn’t a problem.
It is also local so no additional spending needed to travel or stay away.

OP posts:
GimmieABreakOr3 · 03/05/2026 18:28

£50 or if family or close friend £100 x

BillieWiper · 03/05/2026 18:28

If I could afford it between £50-100 per person. If I was loaded then I guess thousands?!

GinaandGin · 03/05/2026 18:27

100 each
At least cover the cost of your plate

mindutopia · 03/05/2026 18:25

How much would you spend on a present or give as a cash gift in a card? Have you really never given cash at a wedding before? We’re a family of 4. We’d give £100 if close to the couple. £50 if a work colleague or something probably.

Msmfailedusbad · 03/05/2026 18:24

This was a could have years ago, DH and I gave £150 as a gift to the couple, but we did have travel and accommodation costs to factor in, including meal the night before and overnight stay.

SoGoodToSeeYou · 03/05/2026 18:23

I’d say £100 as a minimum.

Zanatdy · 03/05/2026 18:23

I’d give £100 for a friend.

Wherewithout · 03/05/2026 18:20

I’d say £50

ColdAsAWitches · 03/05/2026 18:18

Doseofreality · 03/05/2026 18:10

Because they are cheeky fuckers. You don’t get to tell people what to gift you just because you are getting married.

Edited
Show quote history

Well people have done for generations. People used to make wedding registries in places like John Lewis. To tell people what they wanted as gifts. But people usually live together before getting married now so they don't need or want a toaster. Or anything from that shop for that matter. What they do want is a holiday. So why not contribute to that instead of getting something THEY DONT WANT. Or do you often go to weddings of people you don't like, so you don't mind being rude to them.

I really don't understand your point of view. If you're friends enough to be invited to a wedding, why deliberately annoy your so-called friends, just to make some weird point?

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2026 18:13

Doseofreality · 03/05/2026 17:26

I’d give them a John Lewis voucher and give no fucks about it. A wedding isn’t a fundraising event for a holiday.

Wh do you gain from giving a present that you know isn't wanted?

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2026 18:11

£50. 6
Its a gift, I find the idea you have to cover the cost of your invite weird.

Doseofreality · 03/05/2026 18:10

ColdAsAWitches · 03/05/2026 17:55

So you'd go out if your way to give them something they don't want? Why? If you're going to give them a voucher, why not give them the cash equivalent that they asked for.

Show quote history

Because they are cheeky fuckers. You don’t get to tell people what to gift you just because you are getting married.

Robogob · 03/05/2026 18:06

£50

wasvs · 03/05/2026 18:05

we are doing £75 as a couple but would do £150 if we had it

Original poster
weddingdilemma2026 · 03/05/2026 18:02

Thanks for your replies so far. To answer a couple of questions it is to a friends wedding and it is a full invite ,so day do and night at a lovely venue.

OP posts:
H202too · 03/05/2026 17:59

I would have said £50 but I seem to be in the minority.

sweetpickle2 · 03/05/2026 17:57

ColdAsAWitches · 03/05/2026 17:55

So you'd go out if your way to give them something they don't want? Why? If you're going to give them a voucher, why not give them the cash equivalent that they asked for.

Show quote history

I find it very amusing when people do this, like this isn't far far ruder than people asking for money in the first place.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 03/05/2026 17:56

I tend to do all day £100 or evening £50.

ColdAsAWitches · 03/05/2026 17:55

Doseofreality · 03/05/2026 17:26

I’d give them a John Lewis voucher and give no fucks about it. A wedding isn’t a fundraising event for a holiday.

So you'd go out if your way to give them something they don't want? Why? If you're going to give them a voucher, why not give them the cash equivalent that they asked for.

youalright · 03/05/2026 17:54

Hiddeninthetrees · 03/05/2026 17:39

£50-100 depending on how close you are.

I agree with this

toodisorganisedforschool · 03/05/2026 17:49

What would you have spent on a present? That’s how much I’d give.
I know people on MN hate this kind of thing and some posters will say “buy JL vouchers, the CF’s!” Or “how dare they! Buy them a present instead!” But if you’re going ri spend through money anyway, why wouldn’t you help them get what they really want, in this case an amazing honeymoon?!

Comedycook · 03/05/2026 17:48

£100

Monty36 · 03/05/2026 17:48

For a friend it would depend how close you are.
Average £50.00.
How much would you have spent on a present ?

For close friends more.

sweetpickle2 · 03/05/2026 17:48

We usually do £100 between us (couple).

Monty36 · 03/05/2026 17:46

It will feel like you are paying for the reception.

Swipe left for the next trending thread